Yes, she will attack you. She may also try to smother your babies in their sleep, and she will certainly eat your body if you die and aren’t found for a while. That’s why you should call me every day- I worry.
You try feeding 4 kids on $20 a week! I did the best I could! You’re still alive, aren’t you? And Kool-Aid has way too much sugar. Do you want to get diabetes and get your feet cut off? If you get your feet cut off from eating too much sugar, don’t come running to me!
That’s my boy. Here, take some pie home- you’re too skinny.
I always knew you were some kind of sex pervert.
I don’t know what you’re talking about. Your father was always trying to teach me some wrestling moves- that must be what you saw.
Did you ever really love dad? I’ve never seen two people seem so miserable as the two of you together.
Well, of course I loved your father. I married him, didn’t I? No, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but what was I supposed to do, have you come from a broken home? And then you could end up shooting at people from a clock tower, and it would be all my fault! No thank you!
Then why didn’t dad ever come home after he went out to buy a pack of cigs?
Because you ask too many questions! Now shoo, go find something to do!
Oh, now it’s MY fault! I HATE YOU, MOM! You always liked Joey best!
If this is some kind of Rorschach about our respective childhoods, it looks like many 'Dopers have an awful lot of unresolved baggage about their Mom.
I swear, Jim, you will be the death of me yet. Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!
Some of these people have mommy issues, for real.
My name isn’t Jim. It’s Yojimbo, like the guy in the Kurosawa film. HOW MANY TIMES do I have to tell you that my soul is a Japanese Ninja? You NEVER listen. No wonder Dad dumped you like toxic waste!
Go to your room, and do not come out until morning. I have HAD IT with you. You are just like your father.
At first I wasn’t convinced that you were my mom because you said I was adopted, but this confirms that you are my mother.
Sorry I don’t call more.
Just like Gramps and Uncle Ben? Or better?