A Jewish friend from Brooklyn says that in his family and milieu they always talked and asked about how much things cost. He was surprised when he later learned that this was considered impolite elsewhere.
I know an older couple who all of their lives have been holding onto middle class with just the skin of their teeth. Unaware of the usual middle-class etiquette about not talking about how much things cost, the wife tries to impress others with the high prices they paid for this or that.
Whenever I ask something like that I am usually asking because I want one too and wanna know how much it’ll cost me.
I’m with stockton. How much DID ya pay for it?
It’s really pretty by the way 
I’m not comfortable talking about how much I pay for things.
I think it’s because my parents were frugal and I still feel a little guilty when I splurge on things. Also, I hate bragging and don’t want people to think I’m trying to impress them with how much disposable income I have. (Not that my income is anything to brag about.)
And, as you said, pricing on artwork varies so much more than on mass-produced goods. It’s not like they could congratulate you on getting it at 50% of the retail price.
I like the painting, by the way. Very energetic.
I think it’s a bit rude. I get asked that about my recumbent bikes all the time, often by total strangers. Most of the time they just want to know if it’s a toy, a “real” vehicle or an ultra-expensive sports equipment. I have to say “you can get this kind of bike for $500, but this one’s a bit more.” I’d only reveal the real price to people who know what high-end bicycles usually cost.
No: Houses and Cars. Probably because everyone else needs to buy them as well so the sharing of information benefits everyone. Anyway most people are happy to discuss the purchase of their house and car at length.
Maybe: Items that the asking person is seeking to purchase as well- better if phrased “I am looking for one of those as well, do you mind telling me what you got that one for, its really nice”.
Yes: everything else- examples- “that is a fine dog, how much did he cost?” “Wow fancy new prostetic arm Fred, what does that model go for” “Hey nice implants, you pay cash or finance those?”
:rolleyes:
The asking price was $3500, and we negotiated down from there. The dealer asked me not to mention to final price to anyone else who has her work (entirely self-serving on his part, I know, but I did agree to it). I know nobody at work would have something from this artist, but maybe some east coast dopers might.
Here’s a picture I took last night after getting it up on the wall. It’s bowing out from the wall some, so I’ll have to attach the sides and bottom as well as the top. Right now it’s velcroed onto a wood strip across the top, which in turn is nailed to the wall.
I don’t think it’s rude to ask how much a person paid for an item but I do think it’s takcy. Even more so if you don’t know the person and you fail to take the person aside to ask them privately.
Every now and again I genuinely want to know what someone paid for an item. When asking I preface my question with the understanding that my asking may be somewhat intrusive.
I have a standard policy when someone asks, “May I ask a personal question?”
I say, “No.”
You never saw such startled looks.
Tell me about it. I was just remarking to friends recently that while others may compete in terms of getting higher-priced stuff, we vie over who paid the least. “Nice shoes.” “Thanks, $4.00, Walmart.” I am already seen as a wasteful person since I haven’t been to our thrift store yet.
That being said, I would only ask friends about what they pay for things, and only prefaced by “If you don’t mind my asking.”
I don’t understand why it’s rude, but I do understand that a lot of people think so. I try to preface the question and only ask it when I’m interested in getting one for myself. I think if one of yojimbo’s coworkers had said, “I’d be interested in the artist’s work. What kind of price range are we talking?” that the question was perfectly acceptable. After all, if the answer was, “I paid $50,” then the coworker might buy one that day, but if they answer was, “Thousands,” the person might whistle and say thanks for letting them know not to waste their time.
God yes it’s rude. If the person is asking because they want to know if they could possibly afford the same type of painting, let them call the artist and ask what her work goes for. If they want to know how much your pants cost, let them go to the Gap and look at the price tag.
The only thing it’s okay to ask a price on is something like when you have a new Starbucks Creamy Frappuccino Drink Thingy on your desk and someone asks, “Ooo, I want one of those but I’ve only got $2.00 on me, how much more do I need to bum off someone?” Asking how much people’s clothes cost or what they paid for that new toy on their desk is exceedingly tacky.
I’ll go with AudreyK and ask the same question: Why is it rude to ask the price of something. And further, why is it rude to ask how much you make? And I cry foul if you say it’s rude because it’s tacky. That’s just substituting one word for another.
I have no problem revealing how much I paid for something if someone asks. What could they possibly do (to me) with information like that? I’ll also tell someone how much I make if I think they don’t have sinister motives. A friend of a friend once told me he would like to get into the computer tech field like me and wanted to know what kind of salary range I was in. I told him what my salary was but cautioned him that it would vary greatly on his position and technical skills. I don’t offer the information unless asked, so it’s not bragging. I don’t think my wages are really something to brag about anyway. My company, however, has a strict policy on not discussing how much you make with other employees. This is probably due to the petty squabbling of one employee complaining that so-and-so makes more than me and we do the same job. I adhere to that policy only because it’s the policy. Now, if they ask what my bank account number is, where my bank is and want to borrow my ID, yeah I’d probably balk at that.
Nevertheless, I was taught the same as most people here are saying. I’ll usually ask someone in a roundabout way: “Hey, I’ve been looking for one of those! How much is something like that going for?” Not a direct question about how much they paid for it, but rather the price they’ve commonly seen around town. I’m not interested in what you paid for it, but rather what it might cost me if I wanted one. If it was a piece of art I would probably ask who the artist was and what gallery it was bought from and then do my own negotiating since art prices are subjective to the artist and the buyer.
If you’re freaky about answering that question, usually a good retort is “Why do you want to know?” If the person is geniunely interested in buying one like it they’ll say so. If they say “Oh, just curious” or stammer out a weak excuse then it’s up to you to determine how vague or exact your answer will be. I’m not a privacy freak but I don’t care for nosy people just trying to be nosy.
I consider asking the price of something no more intrusive than asking where you were born, what kind of music you like, and what your favorite soft drink is. Your financial status is of no more importance to me than those pieces of information are.
This opinion costs 2¢.
Oh, but there is a difference between rude and tacky. Tacky, to me, means a lack of taste. Rude is just plain ill mannered. Those, clearly, are just my not-so-humble opinions.
I don’t know your intentions when you ask me how much my car costs, how much I pay for rent and what my son’s tuition is. These are all questions I’ve been asked by co-workers. Unless you phrase your question something similar 'I’ve been looking in to buying a Jaguar, about what did you pay for yours?", I’m going to assume you’re trying to figure out what my financial status is. I’ve been asked all three of those questions and I find it a bit off-putting. Especially if the person has no interest in a) driving what I drive, b) living downtown or c) sending their kids to private school. My answers have varied from ‘Enough’ to ‘Too much’ when asking what I’ve paid for something.
I don’t assume the person asking is being rude, though, just lacking in a certain refinement.
Huh. Within my social circle, it’s not considered rude at all to inquire about money. What are you paying for rent on this place? How much did that car cost ya? Oooh, nice laptop; how much did you shell out for it? Does your fellowship pay the same as a TA? Sweet couch! Is it new or did you get it garage saling? Whaddaya pay for internet access?
And, of course, the ever-popular sport of comparing airline tickets.
Maybe it’s because we’re all starving grad students, so sharing financial information is so useful. Also, we’re not out to try to one-up each other or make value judgements based on how much we make or how expensive our stuff is. I think that my family is pretty open about all this stuff, too–sharing information to be helpful, and we’re not trying to “score” over someone else because you’ve got better furniture or a fancier car or your salary is higher.
From my point of view, it’s rude to brag about how much you paid for something (even while cleverly seeming to brag about what a good deal you got) but it’s okay to answer if someone asks you what it set you back . . . so the questioner is dong a bit of a service, kind of.
I guess I’m going to have to be careful about asking the price of stuff in the future, considering how rude y’all say it is.
I guess I’m going to have to be careful about asking the price of stuff in the future, considering how rude y’all say it is.
I should have been clearer in my posts, Pod. Since the OP’s example was about co-workers, I was referring to co-workers. If we’re friends, ask away!
And, yes, it’s very rude to brag about how much you paid for something, in most situations.
And that bears repeating.
Yaack . . . Ya slipped in there, Juanita, between my goof and my little joke. . . but, anyway, mostly my coworkers are my friends, mostly–I am blessed.
I guess it would be a little odd coming from someone with whom one’s relationship was less intimate. But I still don’t think I’d be offended by it, unless it was clear that they were just trying to suss out whether I was richer or poorer ‘an them. But, given the sort of person I am, I probably wouldn’t care anyway. Don’ care if they think I’m rich or po’ . . . as long as they don’t think I’m lording my vast graduate student wealth over anyone.
But I’ll watch my inquiries in the future.
Why are these questions rude? Because they’re nosy. The answers are really no one else’s business. And asking gives the impression that you think you are entitled to know my private business. That’s what’s rude.
As for evasive answers, they’re not lying. I DID get a fair price, and I DO think the beauty is more important than the price tag. Gentle evasion is a polite way of saying, “I don’t want to tell you.” IF the person continues to be thick about it and keeps prodding, then I would get out the big guns: “That’s between me and the dealer/me and my husband” or “I consider that private information.”
Exactly, Scarlett67. It’s rude, because it’s none of your damn business what I paid for something or what kind of money I make. I was always taught that, unless you’re amongst close friends and certainly if you’re among co-workers, you don’t discuss finances, politics, or religion. Works for me.
Me too, and I wonder whether this is a generational thing? But in order to find out, I’d have to ask AudreyK and Horseflesh, among other, how old they are. And I was taught that would be rude.
I suppose I’d lump rules into the general category of etiquette. Why is eating with your mouth open rude? Why is scratching your butt in public, or belching, rude? I don’t know why, them’s just the rules. Not everybody follows them, not everybody interprets them the same.
