Asshat fights with partner, denounces him as hijacker of plane with MY DAD onboard!!

The BBQ Pit
1

One of the benefits (?) of having a journalist for a father is that when something bizarre happens to him, he doesn’t just tell you about it, sometimes he tells you about it on the 8:30 news when you’re trying to wake up.

today’s strangeness

Fairly ordinary story, right? Now imagine it from my perspective. Half asleep. Paul McCormick is on the blower. *Yap yap yap, mischief, false hijacker, Montreal, Paris, yap yap yap. * DAD_MCL WAS ON THE PLANE, WE GO TO HIM NOW.

matt wakes up real fast

Now the best part was the report my dad gave, available in Real Audio on the internet. Apparently, this guy was apparently sitting right next to my dad all flight (my dad had been flying to Paris on his way to the Congo, where he’ll be reporting for a month), and got arrested right from out beside him.

Okay, anyway, that was really just an MPSIMS side note. So let’s move on to the actual flame, which is, You fucking yoyo! What the hell stunt do you think you were trying to pull?! slap You know the kind of thing this can result in. Don’t you?! Hell, in some places that plane might have been shot down with a damn SAM missile, for chrissakes! With my damn father on it!

I am so glad the police caught you, you ratfucking purveyor of the flesh of impure beasts. A pox on your friends and relations, yea, down to your sixth cousin and your banjo teacher. May you be sandblasted in uncomfortable places, you son of a thousand crack whores. May you be beaten around the head and neck with a set of bagpipes and then have them played at you. May you drown in elephant shit. And then may it all come to pass once more, allegro con brio.

Shithead.

2

This never would have happened on the Metro…

:wink:
-j

3

Holy shit, I’m glad everything worked out ok for DAD_MCL.

4

I’m glad everything ended up OK- people are frightening.

5

Matt, you forgot the part about the fleas of a thousand camels infesting his hairy armpits.

I’m glad your Dad is safe.

6

Shit! Even the banjo teacher? Matt is PISSED!

(Glad your father is OK!!)

7

Fucking hell.

You cuss good, btw.

8

Now, that’s just going too far.

9

What a fucknugget.

(Glad dad_mcl was okay.)

10

Wow matt_mcl, talk about an exclusive for your Dad!

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Yeah, but it’s kind of a mixed blessing, don’t you think? It could have gone like this:

“We now go to our man live on the scene. What’s the situation there?”

(shouting to be heard over screaming and explosions) “Well, it appears that the missile hit the outside starboard engine, there’s flames licking up the wing, the whole plane is pointed at the ground at about a thirty-degree angle, the pilots tell us we’ll have impact in about twenty seconds, and we’re all out of coffee! Back to you.”

Seriously, I’m glad things turned out all right. If this had happened at an American airport, the overly zealous security flunkies would have arrested everybody in the neighboring rows also, just in case.

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Ok, so I’m a bit of an aeronautical buff. I enjoy reading & talking about, looking at, riding, etc. anything that gets off the ground. Managed to get in 104 skydives before marriage & a part-time degree & a full time job put an end to it. One of the reasons I love the dope is that actual big jet pilots come and talk to us ::not-worthy-bow:: thanks broomstick. I actually enjoy turbulence & flying in small planes.

So there I was, on an AC Airbus taking off from Toronto heading due west. I always time the take-off rolls, and keep my stopwatch going during a flight. I don’t read, sleep, or whip out the laptop untill we’ve been up for 5 minutes, because I want to be on the ball if the SHTF. So only 3 minutes into our climb, I hear the engines spin way down to what seems like quieter than normal for landing. Nose goes way down, we all get the “top of the roller-coaster” feeling as we pull moderate negative g’s, and we bank sharp left. Since I’m sitting in a window seat on the right, I’m looking up at the sky, where I see a Cesna 182 go wizzing by at what looked like about 500 to a 1000 feet. Close enough that the letters on the wing looked big, I could tell there was only one pilot, no passengers, and the paint job wasn’t new. My jaw droped somewhere under the seat in front of me… :eek:

I turn to the person sitting next to me to say something like “Holy Cow, I just saw a…”, but I noticed she had here head back, eyes closed, fists clenching the armrests, and her knucles were white. So I thought better of it instead. When we landed, I had wanted to ask the pilot how he had known, if it had been trafic control, TACAS, or just his eyeballs, and to congratulate him on saving our hide, but he kept the cockpit door closed during the de-planing.
The coolest landing I ever had was in St-John’s Newfoundland. St-John’s is the fog capital of the world, well, of Canada, at any rate. At altitude, we have a completely clear sky above us, it’s near midnight, and the moon is full and high. The cloud deck below looks like a solid carpet of silver cotton. It was quite pretty. Going into it during descent felt like we were a submarine sumbmerging in a silvery sea. That was pretty too…

So I keep looking, waiting for us to break out of the clouds, and waiting, and waiting… I see nothing. Not one damn light. Jeez, this descent is taking for ever. What’s he doing flying aroung in all this soup for so long… then thump, & the sound of the thrust reversers & braking. We had landed in fog so thick I had not even seen the runway lights, hell, I couldn’t see the frealing runway tarmac from my bleeping window, and we were rolling on the darn thing. I knew ILS was good, but damn, that was impressive. Especially because our approach was over the Red Cliffs, which are about 1000’ high, I understand, righ on the ocean. Whew…

We then proceeded to have four consecutive days of 30 deg C. weather and blue skies. The locals were acting like it was an astounding event and every piece of lawn seemed to have a lightly clothed young lady on it catching some rays… Did I mention I really enjoyed my trip to Newfoundland? :smiley:

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Whoops! Wrong thread. :smack: My apologies. I had wanted to post in this thread instead. Too many dope windows open…
Mods, can you move my post, please?

14

Oh very, very good, matt!

May I have you autograph?

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blank look But he got the exclusive, didn’t he? The Canadian equivalent to the Pulitzer would be presented to his survivors and could be chisled into his headstone even if his grave contained no more than a teacup full of hamburger, only some of which was actually dad_mcl. Your priorities are really screwed up. :smack:

That was sad about the coffee, though. :frowning:
:wink:

16

Actually, my dad did receive a couple of posthumous awards for his work on the Congolese civil war.

17

Holy crap! I knew that there were dead people on airplanes, but I didn’t know they were allowed to sit in the passenger section!

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Uh, threemae, the OP’s over 2 years old, ressurected apparently in error by trupa.