At age 49, I am now completely safe from monsters.

As any child can tell you, night time monsters are completely stymied by the incomparable power of covers. Unfortunately, the use of covers over the head creates an atmospheric condition known as “stuffy”. Stuffy can be counteracted by creating a small air hole through which one can insert ones nose. Most, but not all, monsters will not notice the air hole and will move on to easier prey. Eternal vigilance against the air hole monsters is required. This is usually accomplished by remaining absolutely still.

But now, thanks to sleep apnea and my CPAP machine, I can deploy the covers over my head and not suffer from stuffy conditions. I can breath all night long and not worry about suffocation. At long last, I am completely safe from monsters.

You never used the monster snorkel?

My parents were very religious. We were told to save snorkeling for marriage.

Um… I hate to break it to you.

You arethe monster.

ETA: Glad I’m not the only one whose first thought was Monster Snorkel!

When I first got my CPAP, I was living in an apartment with no heat. It was wonderful to completely burrow under the covers and still be able to breathe. I even told a friend it was like snorkeling in bed.

Hell, I’m so old I just lie there on top of the covers and go “here I am, monsters, come and get me!” And am always vaguely disappointed when I wake up the next morning unmurdered by monsters.

What are you going to do about Steam Monsters? Clearly the CPAP needs its own air supply. It should be filled with fresh air every day in bright light and done so with two dozen high-wattage floodlights pointing at every corner of the room. Don’t use fluorescent, it misses the effective monster-killing wavelengths.

Sleep is for the weak.

You misspelled “week”.

I find I get really hot at nights so I sleep most of the time with no covers at all and naked! I’m prime monster pickings.

Feet still must not hang over the side though. Don’t want to be serving them myself on a platter.

Also need to remove the is, and place an a between for and week. Then the sentence will make sense. :smiley:

Great album.