I have a career, a mortage, a wife, two kids, a dog, and plenty of disposable income. Yet, there I was last night, ass on floor, assembling six damn chairs and a dining table. I am well beyond the point I should do that! I’m practically prestigious! Why did I do that?! I could have gone and bought a nice table and chairs crafted by some bearded Amish fellows, fully formed! (I meant the table and chairs, but I suppose the Amish dudes too. Amorphous blobs unlikely to craft fine furniture.) Hell, I could easily pay someone to assemble any assembly-required thing I could dream up! I could be like “Hey buddy, build me this.” and buddy would be like “Why?” and I could be like “Money.” and buddy would be like “Sounds good.” Yet, YET, there I was, on the floor, armed with only an allen-wrench and my limited reserves of patience. I’ve had better nights. I’m not going to lie.
Yes I could have just made this a June Rant, but I’m bored at work with nothing to do, so entertain me. I beg you.
I am too old for goddam periods. I am 49 1/2, and I am showing so signs whatsoever of menopause. The damn uterus is operating like a German train. It is embarrassing buying feminine products at my age. I only hope people think I am getting them for a teenaged daughter. This nonsense has been going on since I was 11. I am ready for a break. I am not going to be having any babies at 50. My doctor isn’t hearing of any prophylactic hysterectomies, either.
My wife is, how to put this delicately, somewhat frugal. I have expressed a desire, many times over the years, to own a decent bedroom set. She still uses her night table from high school and mine was something I had to assemble from Target. She resists this as a waste of money. sigh
Rivka - I hear you, my hysterectomy at 39 was the best thing ever!!
Worry so much about somebody else’s poop. We’re going to start potty training our son around his second birthday and I’ve now read more about other people’s poop and what they do with it and where it goes. I used to read literature. Now I read books like “Oh, Crap! Potty Training!” and “Potty” and “How To Pee”.
My husband and I have done so much ourselves over the years - building, cleaning, repairing, maintaining, plumbing, wiring, painting, yard work. Because if you can do it, you do it, right?
Well, last year, I convinced him to stay off the roof, and we hired a crew to clean our gutters. He’s not fought me on that since then. Yesterday, we had a crew over to pressure wash our siding - money well-spent. And I’m giving very serious consideration to hiring a lawn-mowing crew in the next year or so. Riding the ol’ John Deere around the yard is easy enough, but using the push mower and weed whacker on the slopes and ditches is more than I care to deal with, and with my sweetie’s knee and back issues, I can’t let him do it.
At some point, the best tool for the job is a checkbook.
The original Bubba never was this much maintenance. He was thrilled to just hang out in the same room with you.
Our 6 year old Golden Doodle has decided that I am her entertainment slave. I come home and she pesters me to go outside and play. After dinner she pesters me to go out again. If I sit down and watch TV she’s constantly coming over and nudging my hand looking for a petting session. She’s my wife’s frigging dog for God’s sake. I didn’t even want a dog after we lost Bubba.
Move again. Don’t get me wrong, I want to move again. I am crazy excited to get there and be in my house. I just start hyperventilating at the thought of sorting, again, and loading, again, and selling current house (knock on wood may it be quick) and driving hundreds of miles, again. We’ve been moving every 2-3 years since 2007 and I am so very tired of it. In college, it was throw everything in the car at the end of exam week and scream “so long suckers” as I peeled out of the lot. Not any more. sobs
I’m with you on moving again. When we bought our place 12 years ago, we declared that this is it till we’re hauled off to Sunny Acres Rest Home or whatever refrigerator box our daughter chooses for us in our dotage. Realistically, at some point, we my decide we have to give up the house and the acreage and get an apartment, but I’m hoping that’s at least a decade or two in the future.
Heck, at this point, I’m dreading having to empty my mother’s house when she dies, and I have 4 sibs to help with that process…
Totally agree on this one. Early in our marriage, I would feel insulted if my wife suggested I hire someone to do something I could do myself. Now I’m more than happy to pay to let someone else deal with whatever problem needs fixing.
…live in a world where it is still a mainstream view to persecute people as subhuman because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Above all things, this makes me ashamed to be a human being.
…have migraine headaches all the damned time. First they said the things would stop when I had a kid. Then they said they’d go away after menopause. I’m 60 now and I still get them several times a month. Enough, already!
Realistically, at some point, we my decide we have to give up the house and the acreage and get an apartment, but I’m hoping that’s at least a decade or two in the future.