Wait…a smug, abbrasive person posting on the Internet from their parents basement? 
It’s easy to be snarky and self righteous about people who work for a living and provide their own housing when you have someone else taking care of you. That’s the whole problem with living with your parents or even having your parents pay for your appartment (like some people I know). People develop this soft, entitled, narcisistic attitude becuase they have no real worries.
You’re assuming that in order to be “independent”, I simply cannot reside in the same abode as my parents. I don’t share that assumption.
I don’t like to think that of anyone, but yes, those traits I would find undesirable.
I suppose it would depend on which game you’re playing.
If you are living in your parents’ home and burdening your parents so you can use your money on other things, then it certainly IS more moral to live on your own, use your money to support yourself, and not burden your parents. And make no mistake: Unless you are a FULLY contributing tenant – and IME few adult children living at home are, though some in this thread appear to be – you are burdening your parents. They may tolerate it, heck, in some cultures they may like, expect, and prefer it, but the burden is there nonetheless. Because if you weren’t there, they’d have more money.
So unless we’re talking about the fully contributing boarder who lives with landlords who just happen to be his/her parents, yes, it is more moral to pay your own way than it is to expect someone else to pay it for you.
But it should have a great deal of bearing WRT where you choose to live. You shouldn’t be choosing to burden your parents if you can help it. The fact that moving home to save themselves money may actually be costing their parents money – this doesn’t seem to have crossed the minds of some returning kids. But it should have.
I think the relative morality of it depends highly on your situation. As in, spending money that would have otherwise gone into independent housing into helping support your ailing mother is appropriate, while buying a plasma TV for your room is not.
Ah, my mistake, I guess I should have read the thread more closely. I perceived the arguments being thrown back and forth as defense for your own choice to live at home with your parents.
Well, not to put anybody down, but some people have difficulty grasping the concept that others may be ok with something even though they themselves don’t do it. Some people don’t have to put down others to make themselves feel better or look better in contrast. Some others (not naming any names), LOVE to jump all over those they perceive as inferiors and make biting and snarky comments about their alleged superiority rather than discuss something rationally.
Me, I’m all for people living with their parents. I don’t do it myself and I certainly don’t have an attitude that those that choose to live independently are somehow wrong (duh).
I do admit though when I hear somebody above the age of 25 living with their parents my first and irrational thoughts are that they are a hopeless loser, but that is societal conditioning more than anything.
Cool. No problem with that.
I agree that may OFTEN be the case.
That’s exactly why I didn’t want to approach it from that direction. Of course I DO think there are more moral ways to use money than others, but I believe more strongly that it’s your damn money so you should do what you damn please. At the same time, You must agree that spending more money than you need to on housing isn’t ALWAYS more moral than anything else?
No worries, I didn’t bother to correct anyone because my personal situation has no relevance to my argument, but it does show you who’s been paying attention, though. The intarweb isn’t real life, kids, don’t get too worked up about it.
Is what a yes then? That I think my independence and personal happiness is more important than money? Yes. Was living at home not satisfying for me? Yes. Do I think that it’s more healthy and normal in American culture for a person to live on his own and not fail to grow up and separate from his parents? Yes. Your arguments are hyperbolic, facetious, and don’t hold water? Yes.
If I’m supposed to be the wealthy, materialistic consumer here, and you are the ascetic, then why is it that you prioritize money over everything else, including happiness? If I wasn’t happy in my parents’ house, was it not the MORE responsible thing to do for me to leave, pay my own way, and move forward? According to your ethic, I should have stayed there, saved the money and rode the bus to whatever job I could get within the range of public transport. Absurd.
Come now, if you haven’t enough courtesy to actually read the question, there’s not much basis for meaningful discussion, is there? Let’s not waste any more of each other’s time.
Well, you are incorrect then. By the very definition of the word, you are dependent on your parents. What if they up and moved across the country?
Well, the only reason that you have that damn money is because you living with your parents. It’s not really an issue of morality. It’s more of an issue of growth and development. Compare having your parents pay for college with having to pay for it yourself. One scenario requires certain sacrifices to be made. It requires you to actually think about what matters to you most. It’s the same thing when you live on your own. You need to pay the rent. You may have to skip the plasma screen in favor of the grocery bill. You many conceptually understand it but you don’t really “get” it until you do it.
As I said before, I know people who live beyond their means thanks to their parents. They often have this sense of entitlement, as do you, that things “should” be a certain way. “I should live here”. “I deserve this”. “I want that”. Whatever. Nobody deserves anything more than they can provide for themselves.
Well, ironically, they are the traits associated with an adult living at home with his parents.
The game of “taking your chances with life out in the real world”.
What if they did? I suppose that would suddenly make me “independent”? I thought the whole idea was to be in control of your destiny? Is it possible that I might choose to live with my parents out of free will?
Well, I promised I won’t use any more smilies, but I’m laughing.
So therefore, anyone who does MUST automatically be all of those things, right?
Though I agree that adult children should be living on their own, i’m surprised at the rather harsh judgement calls being made in this thread. If both the Child and Parents are fine with the arrangement, how can one call the child “wrong” for accepting a beneficial mutual partnership? If one is a useless, jobless sponge it’s one thing, if someone would rather be as fiscally conservative as possible until it’s necessary to move out I fail to see how that brands them a loser.
Again, this is very situational. In my case, I actually SAVE my parents money. I buy groceries consistently, I buy necessities (toilet paper, soap, etc…), computer upgrades are paid for by me, I contribute $200 p/month for the mortgage, I perform what would be costly auto repairs that are within my capability. I pay for my own insurance, cell phone and help with the cable/internet bill. Paint the living room? All me.
I’d say for a sponger, I’m a pretty damn responsible adult for living at home. And because somebody will interpret this to mean that I think it’s easy to live on your own, no, I do not think this. But since I take it to this level while living at home, I do think that the transition will be easier and I’ll have a pretty good idea of what I need to do when that happens. Not that I’ll have it all figured out, but I think you see where I’m coming from.
You only save them money if $200 per month plus the value of your other contributions is the going rate for a boarder. If they would net more money by either (a) not having a boarder or (b) having a boarder who paid a higher rate, then you are not saving them money. And paying for your own insurance and cell phone are not household contributions.
I certainly agree that you are pretty damn responsible for an adult living at home. And I certainly agree that the transition to independence will be easier for you for having borne some responsibility, than it would be for a person who didn’t bear any responsibility. I’m not saying that you’re a loser - I’m not saying that anyone is a loser – I’m just saying that you apparently are not fully independent and you should not be surprised if potential dates take that into consideration.
Independence and free will are not synonyms. It is perfectly possible to exercise your free will to choose to remain dependent on other people. A lot of people would not be comfortable with that, but it’s certainly possible. But if your parents moved away and you stayed and they didn’t pay your expenses, yes, you suddenly would be made “independent”.
I think this is the root of our disagreement. I agree with you in all the situations you’ve described, I just don’t think you can make a blanket assertion about EVERYONE who “lives with the parents”(without any qualifiers), and further to that, challenge the assertion that normal people are INCAPABLE of leading peaceful, productive lives while living with their parents. What do you think?
I think I never said anything like that, so you’ve apparently put a lot of time into disagreeing with a position I never took.
Hey, you’re happy, I’m happy.
Unfortunate as it is, I agree with the last bit about the dating thing…
The thing with the boarder though… I agree that an adult living at home should pay their fair share. But… with a boarder, they’re in it for profit purposes and I don’t know if this really should be used as a comparison. I know my folks would never take anyone besides relatives in because they’re just not open to something like that. I could be wrong on this assumption.
The reason I mentioned the insurance and cell phone, I wanted it to be clear that “mommy and daddy” don’t not take care of this aspect for me. Where as it seems a lot of the anecdotal evidence by folks in this thread seems to think that ones parents also take care of this for one living at home.
Throatwarbler Mangrove, please if you could, include the username of the person you’re quoting in the quotes. It’s hard to follow who you’re debating with. 
Wow. I just read a few pages of this, and I really think some of you need to chill out. YMMV.
My apologies. Honestly, I can’t even keep track of them myself. Attack the argument, not the poster, right?