I’ve been to the bathroom twice now in about an hour (combination of coffee and water) and both times I’ve seen the same woman, in the same stall. I know it is the same one because I can see her shoes and feet.
Both times she hasn’t made a sound or moved. First time I figured she was just a shy pooper. But this time I’m a little concerned. She couldn’t have had a heart attack in there or something?
I kind of want to knock on the door and ask her if she’s OK but if she’s just fine, how humiliating. I mean, maybe she’s just sick.
If I go in again later and see her again…what do I do? Maybe I could ‘accidentally’ bump into her door and apologize and see if she responds?
Option 1: Sit in the stall next to hers and ask her for a square. If she responds “I don’t have a square to spare,” she’s alive and a fan of Seinfeld.
Option 2: Sing “Shave and a haircut…” and wait to see if she yells out “Two bits!” IF she does, she’s alive and most likely an old-timey cartoon character.
Option 3: Belt out “The stars at night are big and bright…” If she responds, she’s alive and either from Texas or a fan of “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.”
Option 3: Look through the crack of the door, and hold that position until she responds or you can confirm that she’s dead.
Perhaps she’s been drinking coffee and water too and simply is on the same schedule as yourself. I’d think if she was in medical distress she’d have had a hard time remaining positioned on the toilet, instead slumping to one side or her legs splaying out.
If you do see her during a third visit, maybe ask her a question… like if she has any Grey Poupon?
I guess it would depend on whether she smells like shit (leave her be) or smells like dead (call a wagon).
If there is no smell, or the smell is confused with other possibly dead pooters, toss one of your bio-gifts over the top and see if she responds. If she does not, call a wagon. If she does, run like hell.
Yeah, I actually thought of that story. See, I only noticed her feet in the first place because she had a lovely pedicure and I thought “Damn, I really have to redo my nailpolish, it’s chipped and peeling”.
Then next time I saw it again and remembered.
I haven’t been back to the bathroom yet. I think I will go wash my hands and check on her…I just had lunch so I have a valid excuse to at least wash up.
I think jumping to the assumption that a person is dead seems premature. Especially given options like constipation, diarrhea, smart phones or the classic avoiding-my-boss syndrome.
I don’t know when I’d inquire… realistically, I’d probably leave it for the janitors to check up on.
There’s a woman where I work who always seems to be in the ladies’ room when I’m there. If she’s not there when I walk in, she comes in after I’m seated and always takes the stall right next to me.
I know it’s her because she always wears sandals and has snaggly toenails.
I got quite paranoid about this at one point until I remembered that she has a myriad of health problems and chronic diarrhea is probably one of them. I don’t know why she chooses to sit next to me, though.
