At what point does bread become toast?

In My Humble Opinion
21

How much sand can you take away from a pile of sand before it is no longer a pile?

22

At point 17.2.

23

The speed of light is involved in the OP Question, so it depends on where the toast eater is standing.

Also, is the toaster on a space ship?

24

We’ve also forgotten about treadmills.

25

Observation: If bread isn’t toast yet, one more second in the toaster won’t make it so.

Then:
If bread is not toast after n seconds, it will not be toast after n + 1 seconds.
Bread is not toast after 1 second.
Hence bread is not toast after 2, 3, … n, n + 1, … ∞ seconds.

Hence by induction it is impossible to make toast.

26

At conception.

(pushing down the lever)

27

To me conception means thinking about having toast rather than bread. By that standard, it’s toast before I ever touch the slices.

28

Say the observer is traveling aboard the Enterprise at maximum warp and the spin of the bread is known. How does that factor into the calculations?

29

It’s been almost a week. Surely it’s toast by now!
If not, you’re doing something wrong.

30

Missed the edit window…

You could always buy it pre-made.
According to the Bimbo USA web page, they sell it in regular, wheat,
and double fiber.

-D/a

31

Always check the plug first. D’oh!

Does pre-made toast go from dough to toast or does it have stop at bread on the way?

32

If the toaster is traveling near the speed of light, you will be long dead before it pops out the toast.

And if the toaster is approaching the event horizon of a black hole. some of the bread my be toast sooner than other parts.

33

Serious Answer:
I see it as a continuum stretching from “raw dough” to “lump of charcoal”. So Your Mileage May Very.

Tongue-In-Cheek Answer:
After it’s been zapped by 1920’s style lasers. In the Mariana trench. (Hi Opal!) For six minutes. To the tune of Rio Rio. And then sprinkled with Bacon Salt.

(Darn, it’s been a while. I don’t remember all of the SMDB memes any more.)

34

Incorrect. The induction toaster makes toast by induction.

35

I have actually used a laser and a programmable robot arm to make toast. It was delicious, and you could have any pattern you liked printed on it.

36

Please! Remember an amateur trying to tell when bread becomes toast is extremely dangerous and should only be attempted by fully qualified experts. As a official member of The Toast Testers of America only I am fully qualified to tell when bread becomes toast. My rates are $50 per hour plus airfare.

37

A toast printer is a billion dollar idea. Give it a USB port to attach to a scanner, and have a default print image of the Virgin Mary.

38

I’ve been watching a lot of Alton Brown. I’m sure there’s some scientifically defined level of moisture that can be used to distinguish between the two.

39

Some people are trying to make light of this question but it is a serious matter. In human history, there have been only three events of consequence so far:

  1. the discovery of fire
  2. the invention of sliced bread
  3. the combination of items 1 and 2 – toast

All other inventions and discoveries, no matter how important they seem now, will eventually be forgotten and lumped in with chia pets and mood rings. Please consider this before making a frivolous post.

40

You’re missing some important milestones.

  1. The invention of butter.
  2. The invention of strawberry jam.
  3. The invention of the butter knife.
  4. Coming soon: the toaster printer.