At what point does bread become toast?

In My Humble Opinion
41

I am from the Andromeda galaxy on a mission to monitor the development of other civilizations throughout the galaxy. We consider those civilizations that have reached the toast-making stage worth monitoring.

These are only of local interest. We prefer to spread the slime of our delicious Mmrrrrijjji worms on toast.

The invention of sliced bread presupposes the development of cutting implements.

We do not have this yet. BEWARE HUMAN, we cannot let you get ahead of us in toast technology. Please desist from the research and development of toast printers at once!

42

Please?? Puhhh-leeessse. It your toast spread technology is still at the level of worm slime, it’s clear we have nothing to learn from you and there is no profit in waiting.

Don’t resist us. Believe me, you will be toast!

43

I may not know much about bread, but I know toast when I see it.

44

I think the proper paraphrase of Justice ??? is, “I may not be able to define toast, but I know it when I see it.”

45

Somewhere, I have a picture I took at the Smithsonian detailing important milestones in human history…and it lists the invention of sliced bread.

No mention of toast.

46

Well played. :smiley:

47

Human, we reached out to you in the spirit of intergalactic friendship and cooperation and yet you respond with only hostility and threats.

It was not long ago that we contacted other species on your planet, the dinosaurs, in a similarly friendly manner. Unfortunately, the dinosaurs considered themselves bad-asses and would not stop mouthing off. Regrettably, the intergalactic board of moderators were forced to take action against the dinosaurs in the interests of interstellar peace. A comet was arranged to rendezvous with your planet. Please do not force us into this course of action again.

48

Toasts make crisp noise when you try to bend.

49

This is a crumby thread.

50

Bread becomes toast?! What kind of wizard magik is this?

51

You guys jumped ahead of the first question we need to answer:
When does raw dough become bread?

52

As soon as the yeast is released from the packet (ejaculated, if you will) and comes in contact with the sugar (the “ovaries”, say).

53

18 minutes into baking. Before that, Matzah!

Not sure about toasted matzah…

54

Who needs any damned worms when we Earthlings already have (gag) marmite and vegemite?

55

Christmas. Before Christmas I had bread. Now it’s toast. (Just in time for New Year’s)
Don’t start with the bread and wine thing either. Yeh, I KNOW you bunch of punsters!

56

Ok, fine. I finally joined.

I 've been reading the posts, and especially threadspotting for several years now, but I just have to ask:

Where the hell do Croutons fit in? Are they bread? Are they toast? Are they mutant bread-toast nuggets? Stale bread? Stale toast?

I know I can’t put bread or toast in a salad, but I CAN put salad between bread AND/OR toast.

Curse you croutons, the bane of my existence!

57

Einstein never accepted the idea of croutons. “God does not play dice with wheat.”

58
59

And that, sir, is precisely why I finally joined.

Well, that, and it’s nice to see a board that always looks like it’s written by adults, not 12 year olds with iphones and in a hurry.

But mostly what you said. :slight_smile:

60

One of the local morning shows plays this every couple of weeks or so. I’m actually surprised nobody here has posted it yet, as you guys/gals always seem to be ahead of the pack.

Ok, made my introduction, gave praises, etc… Forward.