It’s a lame joke, but at least you’re thin-skinned and petty enough to get some use out of it- even if it’s just righteous indignation instead of a laugh.
I can make and take offensive jokes as well as anyone, but they have to be funny. The other friend who posted it didn’t get unfriended. The conversation following it went differently. No apologies, either, just riffing that made it funnier.
Sounds like the Sphinx from Mystery Men. “If you do not master your rage, your rage will become your master.”
On the upside, and totally irrelevantly, I just learned some new words in making this post. That quoted BS is called a chiasmus, and the Sphinx quote is an antimetabole.
“Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic?”
You have the terms reversed.
My list has nine billion names on it.
And it works even better for a know it all straw man (especially if the little girl is named Dorothy).
It’s not fare of you to say that.
The only questions I ask little girls is if they want a piece of candy or if they are willing to help me find my lost puppy.
Since I work in a candy factory I frequently have samples and I’m sick of candy since I work in a candy factory.
And my puppy’s sense of direction is shit.
I have sat next to someone who talks a lot of horseshit, though.
Total hijack (speaking of planes): The density of Britishisms in this little phrase is impressive. I think the American translation would be “…soccer practice on Wednesdays.”
The man concluded, “You see, little girl, things that seem mysterious and unfathomable are often actually quite easily resolved. Science helps us to understand a great deal about the world.”
Never.
Far too often.
Hello! Can I interest you in this book that contains notes about the hundreds of deities that I do not believe in?
To which the little girl replied “I didn’t say a thing about science, mister, and neither did you. You just chose, uninvited, to shit on my religion, if I have one (which we’ve not mentioned yet) and I told you to fuck off. Isn’t there anyone else on this plane for you to patronise?”
Then a man across the aisle says: “Horse clumps? You want to know what tastes like horse clumps? This airline chicken teriyaki. Are we supposed to eat this or use it as shark repellent when the plane crashes?” Everyone thought that was hilarious, even the pedophile atheist, but the captain called DHS because the man was wearing a turban.
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
" Oh, I don’t know," said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or --GRFUUBBWHAAAA!!??? Oh my FUCK!!”
And that’s the story of *why *Gerard Depardieu pissed on another passenger.
To which the man retorted, “Look, what do you what from me? I’m just an apocryphal atheist boogeyman, the fantasy product and obvious projection of a fevered god-botherer. Why else would I both open up such a painfully ludicrous conversation AND simultaneously be so easily undone by a childish observation such as yours? Isn’t there a college professor somewhere that you need to stymie with a similarly facile observation?”
Bit hijacky, but I don’t see that I do.
“If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything,” which I described as the quoted BS, is a chiasmus. The second clause is inversion of the first yet does not repeat the same words.
“If you do not master your rage, your rage will become your master,” which is the Sphinx quote, is an antimetabole. It uses the same words but transposes them to create the reversal.
I provided links and everything.
Half a hand? But to be fair I did start things by asking her what the book she was reading was about. I couldn’t help it; the book was entitled “Apollyon”. 
(And she was perfectly nice… we would never have seen eye to eye on religion, but it was a generally pleasant coversation which did make the flight go faster).