Really? Sorry for the OT, but are we talking Hyles-Anderson College style " Bob Jones" is too libral" conservative? Like rock music even “Chrisitan contemporary rock” is of teh DEBIL?
Wow…just wow…
Boyo Jim:
It is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that she is having the same thoughts as myself, but here’s the thing. She is very involved (not just with her time, but emotionally and “spiritually”) with religious ed, and tries to consistently reinforce Catholicism’s practice, tradition, and dogma with our kids. So I’d say it is very probable that she doesn’t have the same thoughts as myself… but I could be wrong.
Hilarity N. Suze:
You are correct that scripture is not always taken literally in the RC church, and even though the requirement of faith on my part is definitely not a deal breaker in the RC church, it may be for her, but then it might not. I really don’t know. Mrs. D is one of the most compassionate and kind people I know, but at the same time she is very headstrong.
B. Serum:
I suppose I could present it as a struggle to her, but I feel like I would still be lying to her. My struggle with my de-conversion and subsequent embrace of atheism happened 1.5 years ago. My fault for not bringing it up earlier I guess. It just never felt like the right time and I still wonder if it ever will feel like the right time.
You’re right, it would be, but it’s less a lie than what you’re doing right now, it broaches the topic in a far less destructive way than dropping the “A-Bomb” on her at once. It might go a long way for it to be perceived that you’re not doing this to spite her or her beliefs, and its a way for her to gradually come to terms with where you know you’ll eventually wind up.
I hadn’t thought of it that way. It could be a lie I could live with if it will make it easier in the end for her to accept my lack of faith. I will have to consider this further. Right now I’m still researching a lot of resources on rational thought, atheism, and logical fallacies w/regard to faith and religion. I want to be as prepared as possible when I do decide to break it to her.
I’m out to my parents, I think.
I qualify that statement because I thought I had been for several years, but just a few weeks ago, I was visiting my dad and stepmom, and was telling a story about my girlfriend (who is a Christian) first seeing that my Facebook religion setting was “Atheist”, and my stepmom said something like “Do you really believe that, or are you just trying to get attention?” I reiterated that I really did mean it, and we had a brief and unproductive discussion on my reasons for doing so. Then she declined to say grace at dinner because she didn’t want to force her beliefs on me, and I tried not to roll my eyes too obviously. So, clearly, the previous times I have said things like “I don’t believe in God.” and “I am an atheist” have not been taken at face value. I usually don’t bring it up because I figure it’ll just lead to an argument or hurt feelings, but I’m not hiding it.
My stepmom seems to be the only one who cares. She and my father are Methodists, but as far as I can tell my dad isn’t at all dogmatic. My impression is that he’s known that I was an atheist for years, but never brought it up. My mom currently attends an Episcopal church, but she’s been to many churches over the years, and is very live-and-let-live about most things, religion included.
I’m out to my immediate family - parents and brother - and my friends. My extended family doesn’t know, though those on my father’s side of the family, the only passingly religious side, have figured it out and don’t care. My friends, all college and post-college don’t care, as most of them are atheist or non-practicing whatevers, and I don’t hang out with those from my past religious life.
I was raised in a very Pentecostal household, and coming out wasn’t easy. Looking back, it was a crazy environment. We went to church every Sunday, most Sunday nights, many Wednesdays, did youth group on Friday - it was meant to be the center of my social life, and it was for a long time. But it was insane - this was the kind of place that people spoke in tongues, passed out when “slain in the spirit”, professed about miracles in their lives. We had a speaker come in with a huge ass timeline that showed how science was wrong and the world was only 6000 years old. It was an us-against-them mentality in which your “soul” was at stake. I’m of the opinion now that it was brainwashing, plain and simple, to take a young child and teach these inane things. I went along with it for a long time, always struggling because it never quite fit right. And I tried hard. I would swing one way or the other, selling all my “secular” CDs and refusing to go to movies, reading my bible every day, then struggling to “live like Christ”. It was ridiculous. By about high school I was losing any faith I had and seeing the error of my ways, for a number of reasons I don’t care to go into here.
When I came out, my mother told me “You are going to hell”, and she cried for a few days. My father was stone faced, though I think he cared quite a bit less. We argued about the non-existence of any gods a few times in the first few months, but now it’s definitely a DADT kind of situation. I still argue with my brother from time to time, but I think (and hope) I am slowly changing his mind. He’s certainly becoming more liberal as he ages.
While it’s a touchy subject with my family, I am much happier and feel… well together. The cognitive dissonance of believing the kinds of things that were drilled into me since birth was painful. To borrow a phrase, becoming an atheist was being “born again” - I was becoming the person I was meant to be, free of the shit that had cluttered my mind earlier in life. And this place had a hand in getting me straight - so thanks! 