don’t look, DON’T LOOK! sit very quiet and very still and maybe we’ll be safe. Well ok, just me, you’re waaay over there, so you’re ok, probably. So Mrs. Guest gave Lord Nuzzles a bit of chicken (sans skin) as a treat tonight. She said she was an extra good mood tonight and feeling generous. Foolish woman, she should have known better. This is worse than the Thanksgiving Turkey Massacre. AUGH! Here He Comes Rampaging Through The Living Room Again! MAKE HIM STOP! MAKE HIM STOP PLEASE FOR THE LOVE ALL THAT’S HOLEY MAKE HIM STOP!
pant pant pant
absently wipes away dripping snot
whew, hoh man wow, lemme catch my breath, shwew, man, that was rough, but not as bad as earlier. Man, I knew tuna was a dangerous thing to feed the kitty monster, and I guess the turkey incident should have been a precautionary tale on its own, but I had no idea chicken could so totally bring out the [del]loving scamp[/del] [del]predator[/del] [del]roving thief[/del] [del]destroyer of dinner[/del] table scaling, wall walking, house wrecking, ball of kinetic energy that is currently fearlessly stalking the trash can even though I have already taken the chicken remains (bones) out to the main dumpster. Better the trash can than me though. shudder!
I’ll never forget that look in his eyes as soon as took the morsel of poultry in his teeth. That look that said it all. Chthulu has no fear for me now, I’ve seen into the depths of true terror, through the portal of the eyes of a Kitten we call Nuzzles.
OH GOD HE’S LOOKING AT ME! He knows he knows!
Pray for me to whatever god you worship, will post more later if I’m able.
You need to leave the house. Right now. Go to the nearest grocery store–don’t stop for ANYTHING on the way! Buy a whole, cooked chicken.
And then feed it to Lord Nuzzles.
Appease the Chicken Monster! Appease the mighty Chicken Monster!
Link has been on a tear for the last year or so. If it has meat or tomato in it… Dinker wants it. And he will beg/demand it even from Mistermage whom, usually, only the cockatoo demands from. Which is weird because he (binker) used to only want dry cat food. Everything else was … POISON.
I made us a turkey after Turkey Day because I wanted us to have the joy of leftovers. And that skinny old cat will jack you up for a tidbit of it. You having a sammich? Give some to Binker. Putting a few pieces on a salad… give some to Linker. Throwing it in some soup… I know what you have… give it to Binker Dinker Link!
I switched to a beef roast yesterday and he was all up in my face, his boys’ faces and even hubby’s.
He only eats nibbles besides his dry cat food and his kitten chow. But he wants his due.
He says Meow Naow! in a teeny voice… but with his cross eyes twitching and staring deep into your soul and to the sides of your soul.
He’s at least 14 (wandered into our yard 12 years ago).
And he has all of us wrapped around his “We are Siamese” paws. Even my non-cat liking hubby.*
*He’s gotten over that.
pretty kitty -> http://mistymage.com/straightdope/binkerdink.jpg
Just once I’d like to click on a thread and learn that a 50 foot tall chicken had gone on a rampage, utterly destroying a Purdue factory or perhaps Texas. But no, what do I get? Yet another thread devoted to an adorable little furbaby. Oh, well, maybe next time.
I suggest giving him whatever he wants, lest he meow again.
Would hate to disappoint;
From BSNN®(shovel ready news all the time)™;
Business District Monster ChickenRampage: SpecOps Advisors working together with local defense forces in Joint Task Force Fried Poultry to contain and eliminate the threat in an effort called Operation Pluck Off. The combined forces team is lead by Colonel H. Sanders and Chief Warrant Officer R. McDonald. Col. Sanders, was called up from a Kentucky militia while “Chief” McDonald, a CW4 or Warrant Officer 4, was commissioned directly from civilian life. Both officers were chosen for their expertise relating to this threat. Col. Sanders, commenting on why CW4 McDonald was not commissioned at a higher rank said this, “He’s good, I’ll give that. He knows his stuff and he’s also pretty good at keeping up morale among the troops. That’s the sticking point right there though, he’s too much of a clown and this is serious business.”
…in no way is this post been a mind-control-fever-has from Master Nuzzles…
