I was recently reminded of the worst fashion mistake I have ever seen while walking back to my office for lunch. I encountered a man and we rolled our respective, requisite d6’s for initiative and he most decidedly won.
From the front he looked mostly normal. He was wearing khaki’s and a button up shirt but his hair line looked funny. It went straight across and had a very regular spacing that didn’t look quite natural similar to doll hair. Also his hair was combed and greased back but from the front I wasn’t able to see where it went. :eek:
Then suddenly after his initiative was won he whipped around past me forcing my eyes to look at the giant bald spot the size of a large nest of eagles made from some type of shiny granite stood out slightly covered with large greasy twigs of hair in a semi curly and definately haphazzard attempt to hide it from the world at large.
It taunted me. It nearly bowled me over. It stuck its greasy tentacles out and grabbed at me whipping me where it knew it would do the most damage. Luckily I had my trusty cell phone with me and phoned in the fashion police while I was writhing on the ground.
When the fashion police arrived they informed me that said “comb over” was responsible for many such whiplash injuries due to the fact that it was so bad. They then reminded me of the last combover incident that I phoned in and suddenly the pain and injury suffered from seeing this one wasn’t nearly as bad. That one of course was the combover mullet that was responsible for the deaths of many hundreds of fashion sensible people at the local amusement park. We laughed until we cried that day.
You know, unless you’re bald or balding, I don’t think you should be allowed to say anything bad about balding men and their hair-styles. I used to wonder how anyone in their right mind could ever wear a “comb-over”, but then I started losing my hair.
You have no idea how incredibly ugly it makes me feel, and if combing my hair over made me feel even slightly more attractive, I’d be all for it.
I used to laugh, now I just try to be compassionate. Losing one’s hair is not a pleasant or easy thing.
There used to be two people in my office building: Combover Guy and Bad Wig Lady. We all tried to maneuver them into a stalled elevator together so they would Find Love and breed hideously coiffed kiddies. Sadly, Bad Wig Lady left us last year, and Combover Guy looks so wistful . . .
"You have no idea how incredibly ugly it makes me feel, and if combing my hair over made me feel even slightly more attractive, I’d be all for it. "
Actually I know what you mean. I am balding but still have more than enough fashion sense to know that the comb over is the ugliest way to go with a bad toupee being the next step. Personally, I like my balding head. Bald and balding are both beautiful.
"A combover MULLET??? "
It’s true. It is hard to imagine the spikey sides, long mane, and then the balding top with what was maybe a foot of hair positioned gingerly atop and gooped down ineffectively. The whispy lock that didn’t get all the goop plaster was the best part becuase it hung down and swung kind of like a 5ish inch long fallen liberty spike. I can’t imagine it being any worse.
I know I’ve posted this before, but as I’ve never seen anything so horrid before or since I’ll say it again:
I once worked with a guy who was completely bald on top, but grew what hair he DID have very long. He would then comb everything forward and shellack it in place.
One time, during an office soccer game, his hair slipped off. Play came to a halt until he once again carefully put it all back into place.
Well a skullet doesn’t necessarily imply a combover either.
This guy must have a radar that times his lunch exactly with mine because as I was walking back from lunch today he was there. Luckily this time I won initiative and he passed by me unaware of my presence. The lady next to me started giggling softly and said to me, “you would think he would know how bad his hair looked.”
I think the bald “U” is rather distinguished looking. Perhaps someone will hit him with a clue by four sometime soon and he will turn into some weird rendition of hollywood’s “dumpy tramp to ultimate hotty” trite screenplays.
