Attack of the Naked Greased-Up Deaf Guy!

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

No, it isn’t Family Guy.

and, he probably ain’t deaf.

But a Hairy, Bearded Naked Freak, running Amok in a middle school?
Pure frontpage genius.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/30/naked.guy.ap/index.html

WESTERVILLE, Ohio (AP) – A high school lunch period was disrupted Monday by a greased, naked student who ran around screaming and flailing his arms until police twice used a stun gun on him, authorities said.

Taylor Killian, 18, had rubbed his body with grapeseed oil to keep from being caught, and got up after the first time he was shocked to continue running toward a group of frightened students huddled in a corner at Westerville North High School, Lt. Jeff Gaylor said.

Officer Doug Staysniak was monitoring the lunch period when Killian, with long hair and a full beard, ran in the room toward students, who screamed and ran away. The officer is normally assigned to a middle school and did not recognize Killian as a student, Gaylor said.

Ah, Stun Guns. Just what the boy needed.

The Electric Boo-ga-loo. Plus handcuffs.

Killian is in jail and charged with inducing panic, public indecency, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. A message seeking comment was left at Killian’s home.

School officials reported that Killian was a good student, Gaylor said. There was no indication of substance abuse or a medical problem.

Uh-huh. Suuuuurreeee…

[Least_Original_User_Name_Ever]

Heh. That’s frickin’ sweet.

I certainly don’t wanna be the greased up naked guy running around, but I’m glad SOMEONE has taken up the mantle.
Just…as long as he doesn’t hump my leg or anything TOO weird.

[gigi]

“Inducing panic”, eh? Let’s see what I can scare up here at work.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

@gigi

“Inducing panic”, eh? Let’s see what I can scare up here at work.

Does this invole nudity or grease?

Just asking.

[matt_mcl]

How did they figure out what kind of oil he had greased himself with?

[teela_brown]

Grapeseed oil, eh? That was an expensive rubdown. I bet his mom and/or dad is a foodie with a well-stocked pantry. In addition to the world of hurt he’s in for pulling this stunt, the cook in the family will not be pleased to have to replace that stuff.

[BMalion]

and people wonder why I moved from Southern California to Ohio, They know how to have a hell of a good time in this state!

[percypercy]

See now it’s idiots like this that make stun guns so useful. I’m just glad they’re brave enough to step up and remind me every once and a while.

[teela_brown]

I wonder if they conduct electricity better if they’re greased up.

[lisacurl]

@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

But a Hairy, Bearded Naked Freak, running Amok in a middle school?

I was very confused as to why an 18yo was a student in a middle school until I read the article. It was a high school.

[Larry_Mudd]

@matt_mcl

How did they figure out what kind of oil he had greased himself with?

The taste?

[lieu]

That or his 420 degree smoke point.

[Larry_Mudd]

@lieu

That or his 420 degree smoke point.

Ten points, sir!

[gigi]

@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

Does this invole nudity or grease?

Just asking.

Nudity should do the trick, and I don’t even have to run around shouting.
I misspelled that “budity”. Maybe that should refer to nudity of the buttockal region?

[Anastasaeon]

@gigi

I misspelled that “budity”. Maybe that should refer to nudity of the buttockal region?

Shake your budity!

[Dag_Otto]

I read the thread title as: Ask the Naked Greased-Up Deaf Guy!

And I said to myself, “It’s about time! I can finally get some answers!”.

Guess I’ll have to wait until Taylor signs up at the Dope though.

[Number]

It appears that that lunchroom has been graped by the grapist.

[Der_Trihs]

There was no indication of substance abuse or a medical problem.

If true, doesn’t that make things worse ? “Nah, he’s not on drugs or mentally ill; this is just his normal modus operandi. Wake up, brush teeth, comb hair, rub self with oil, go to school, run around naked and screaming.”