Yesterday I was going to a restaurant with my wife to have a nice dinner out. On the way we met our friend Jake, who was our witness at the wedding and one of our cleosest friend. So we decide to invite him and start talking to decide where to go.
It must have been more or less six, and people were getting out of their jobs and walking into the nearest pubs for a refreshing pint o’beer.
Well, someone already had too many pints. This churl walks past me, turns around and punches me right on the temple! Just like this!
So Jake steps forward to cover me, as I stumble dazed and confused, and the oaf punches him twice in the back of the head!
Then he waggled his fists like he was saying “Who’s challenging me?” and then bloody walked away. :eek:
And all the time his three friends didn’t do anything, I dunno, restrain him, or shout “What the hell are you doing” or something. One laughed, my wife says one egged him on, and the other just looked at his watch like his only worry with the little inconvenient was a delay to get to the next pub.
Of course the police was called, but even if they showed up pretty quickly they didn’t manage to solve anything. All they could do was to take our statements and stay to show the uniform a bit in case someone else had the same idea.
Luckily we’re fine, but my friend feels just as angry as you can imagine, and then very dizzy. He was apparently was hit with much strenght. Yet it was the very randomness of the attack that helped us because if they were robbers or something they would have made short work of us. I think they were on the way to the stadium (there was a football match in about a couple of hours) and already half drunk, and then that vile man saw my obviously Chinese wife and friend and (I think) thought we were a group of immigrants or something.
I mean, I am more shocked by the lack of any reason than by the punches themselves. We were minding our business, we were in the city centre, we were not talking loudly, nor making gestures that could be misunderstood, nor we had any sports flag or shirt. And then he just walks by and punches someone?
And since we’re in the Pit, allow me to tell him this. You’re a bastard, a sonnovabitch, an oafish churl, a churlish oaf, a lardy dumbwit with the brains of an ox. I hope the supporters of the other team thought you were worth some nice Grievous Bodily Harm, you shit-for-brains.
Oh, and the wife says she hopes you get attacked by a shark and eaten. “Inland?” I asked her, and she answered “Stranger things happened”.