I’ll take Diet Coke over Coke Zero every time. I’ve never gotten used to the taste of Coke Zero.
Yes, but now the “New” is sarcastic.
They are getting ready to raise the price, duh! They know all about you Diet coke junkies, gotta have it, need your fix, can’t go a day without it and not get all stabby in the work place.
Two more days and you’ll pay any price! And you’ll like it too!
Those wizards at coke didn’t just fall off a turnip truck, y’know!
Both people that drink Pepsi by choice are happy?
I’m glad for the pair of them. 
That’s what I came here to say - and to tell the OP that he has, died, doesn’t realise it and is in the first court of hell, and deservedly so for drinking diet anything
I think you have the same vending machine filling guy as my husbands office. He’s always complaining that they never come refill the sodas in a timely manner.
The food vending machines filler guys are as bad or worse:
“Hmmm. All of the barbecue chips sold out since I was here last. Better not put any more in here!”
I stopped using our vending machines a long time ago after they ate my money a couple of times.
Also because they sell nothing that isn’t bottom-barrel junk food crap that’s barely a step above metabolic poison. But mainly because of the money thing.
I applaud the OP. You don’t see rant craftsmanship like that very often these days.
Great rant.
My current employer is a great place to work. The lunchrooms have cable TV, with On Demand. But the vending machines in the same lunchrooms are a different story.
I’ve worked there about six months and I don’t think the vending machines have been serviced in that time. The snack machine has a few bags of chips that are probably out of date. The drink machine has 3 or 4 bottles of Sprite, and 4 or 5 bottles of orange juice. One day, in desperation for something sweet, I purchased a bottle of orange juice. It was 6 months expired.
Y’all know there’s a number right there are the damn machine to contact the vendor, right? Not the lackey doing the refilling, but the guy making money from it.
You’re pretty creative people, and while I enjoyed your rant enormously, (truly-job well done!), I cannot help but feel you’re applying it to the wrong arena.
Start calling the number, leave some funny messages, rattle the owners cage a little, and see what shakes out.
Type II Diabetes here. Hate coffee, not a huge fan of tea.
wtf do you expect me to drink?
Exactly. I’ve had Type I Diabetes since I was a kid. I’ve been drinking diet drinks almost my entire life.
Diet Dr Pepper
I wish we had vending machines here. 
Smart ass
There must be more than two as the Diet Mt. Dew has been out the few times I’ve actually needed to use the vending machine. I usually buy something from the store before I come to work.
Seltzer.
The vending machine at work currently has all of its even numbers broken. You can push them but get no response from the machine. So that means that the majority of the contents of the machine are unavailable and I’m just wondering how long it will take the vendor to notice.
Toast, too.
What’s the difference? New Coke was basically the Diet Coke recipe with HFCS in it.