Cite?
Seriously, got a link to back that up? I’d be interested. Because I tried New Coke, hated it. Thought it was nothing like “Old Real Coke” (as we took to calling it … while we were stockpiling it).
A 9.7, overall, on the rant. Truly on for the ages. I feel you because I am also stuck in vending machine hell. I went to get a an over-priced soda out of the machine (.75/can). The choices were Fresca(?!?,) Diet Dr Pepper, Dr Pepper, Coke, Diet Coke, and Fanta Grape(?!?.) All but Coke, Fresca, and Fanta Grape were sold out. Please note that the tag describing the drink next to the button for Fresca and Fanta Grape are a piece of paper with the name in ballpoint pen. The machine is so old it was probably built by Ford...Not the company but by Henry Ford himself. If I hadn't seen the plug in the socket, I would have thought that it was steam powered. Needing sweet evil mistress Caffeine, I chose Coke. Apparently, The Last Coke because its red "ain't no mo" light came on. Receiving my beverage, I moved to the snack machine. The snack machine has six rows with six spaces on each row. That should be thirty-six choices, correct? It would have been, had not 27 (yes, I counted) spaces been empty. I decided on the .90 Twix bar because I need a munchie and I love Twix. I put my buck into the slot and…it spits it back out. I try my three other dollar bills, including a 2012 that looks likes it has never been touched before. Maybe I need to fold it into an Origami Swan first? I don’t know how to do that though. That was three weeks ago.
Fast forward to one week ago. The soda machine now only has Fanta Grape. I decide on a cup of old break-room coffee instead. The snack machine, which I have hoarded my coins for, gives up its final Twix. I look at the packaging, something isn’t right. I can’t read it very well, but I think the expiration date is 12/12/1978. That’s weird, because Twix wasn’t introduced in America until 1979. Eh, it’s Twix, I’ll risk it.
No offense, but I’m guessing that you’ve never dealt with “Unca Fred’s’s Soder ‘n’ Snaks” before.
$0.75 a can is obscenely low. Where do you find soda, even bulk store brand, for a lot less? Hell, here vending machines are $1, or $1.50 for 20 ounces. And even those are cheap compared to convenience stores*.
*Lately 7-11 and the ilk have had 2x 1-liter bottles for only $3, making them closer to bulk purchases. Normally 20 ounces is upwards of $1.79.
Most of the time. Name brand 12-can packs are three or four for $10 on sale every weekend. The best is the 6-pack 24-ounce bottles at four for $10.
Fresca and Fanta are still around? Learn something new every day.
Still around? Fanta has over 100 flavors available internationally.
Fresca is good for ghetto whiskey sours.
I just… I don’t even…
<slowClap />
I can’t believe anyone still uses a goddamn vending machine. For anything.
I’ve just recently discovered that I love Fanta Orange. For, uh, anyone who cares. 
I skipped through the rant trying to find why the guy sucks, but it wasn’t there.
If you accept Wikipedia as a cite:
I use vending machines maybe once or twice a year, if that, so I don’t really have a dog in this fight so to speak…but this rant is hilarious!
Not a diabetic, and love coffee, but HATE the taste of full sugar soda. Too gloppy and syrupy and not enough fizz. To be fair, I rarely drink any kind of soda, 99% of my liquid intake consists of water and coffee, but still, don’t diss the diet soda lovers eh? 
:dubious:
As opposed to what? Having junk food delivered to your cubicle via drone? Telling the replicator “Coca-Cola, Diet, Cold”?
$12 for 3 12 packs here. But I should emphasize that all convenience stores now charge more than a robot.
Diet soda is also better if you have a damn cat who knocks it over, to avoid a sticky mess.