I don’t know if there’s enough lead time for this to be practical, but could you drag Bill out to the rehab to find a feral that he feels able to get along with, then trade Steve in for that one?
Tell Bill that ferals don’t do that, only completely domesticated cats will do that. And they don’t eat faces, only brains. And then only if you don’t give them tuna right before bed.
I can sort of understand Bill not wanting to take on Steve and his baggage, but rescuing ferals is part of who you are, and it’s part of what makes you appealing to him. Offer to get Bill a hockey mask to sleep in.
Appearantly there’s no statute of limitations on stupid mistakes made in college. I was suspended from college about the time my life went to hell, (for misuse of my e-mail), and to reenroll (10+ years later) I need to receive an e-mail from to Dean to set up a meeting about it.
I don’t know if this will make much sense, my friend, but Steve is now my cat. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t choose it, Steve did and I don’t want to piss Bast off by refusing her blessing. I do have to confess that while I’m a great short term foster person, long term fostering is how I ended up with 4 cats…one of which was supposed to be dead from FIV a couple of years ago.
Steve is a wonderful house feral. He uses his litterbox, doesn’t fight with my domestic cats and uses his scratching post.
I don’t want a different feral, Steve is my responsibility now.
Cracks up 
Are you channeling my domestic cats? Cause treat time is the one thing that cannot be forgotten.
I’m so going to buy Bill a hockey mask for next weekend!
Bill is very supportative about my rescue work, he’s just afraid of Steve. I try to remind Bill that Steve didn’t do anything but try to get away…Bill just remembers seeing the back claws rip his glasses off as Steve climbed up the tower of Bill.
Not to mention that Steve caused Bill to drop his beer. That is a sin that can never be forgiven.
Even good kitties can do scary things when they’re frightened. A couple weeks ago one of mine startle-launched at some odd sound or another and left 3 bloody claw tracks across my throat.
There’s just not enough brain in there to plan this stuff.
September mini-rant thread here: Try to remember...(the month of September?) (Sept. minirants) - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board
You can’t reason with a man about his fears! There’s nothing reasonable about it!
The only solution is to eat his face yourself, so that there’s nothing left for him to be afraid of.
I’d correct that to “don’t ever use a ‘public wifi’ that’s not advertised to hell and back, and even then FFS don’t use it to shop”. Several of Spain’s airports and quite a few towns (including tiny ones) have legit free wifi networks.
Face eating (and brain eating) is really supposed to happen NEXT month.
I think you have successfully identified the core of the problem.
I drive. But I try to limit my driving and not waste gas. I recycle as much as I can.