I had a GF w similar schedule. Their entire life is work and sleep. And GF didn’t have minor children to attend to.
It is simply impossible to plan anything. All plans are short term and tentative until after they’ve actually happened.
They have chosen a career and lifestyle that precludes interacting with normies like you or me. Accept that, or be perpetually annoyed.
The kids aren’t minors, but still… it’s like herding cats when it comes to trying to organize any sort of family get-together.
I’m going to bet the younger generation has learned the same sort of chaotic tentativity their Mom has practiced of necessity.
It’s super nice you’re trying to plan a fun event but her schedule sounds brutal, is she a medical professional? I’m guessing she gave approval for the birthday activity but to me an escape room sounds sorta hellish way to relax on rare weekend off?
She’s a CNA in a nursing home. But to be honest, the family has always been like this, long before she ever worked night shift. They could never make it on time for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I remember one time we were supposed to get together for something at noon, then they wanted to move it to 1, then 3, then around 2 they called and said “Can we get together now?” I told my wife “Screw it, you go, I’ve had enough of this.” I can pretty much predict what’s going to happen, but it’s still frustrating when it does.
I’m old, and I do both.
I’ll leave a place where noise levels or other conditions make it painful or uncomfortable to be, but I’ll often leave an online review, or contact the company, to let them know about the conditions that drove me away from such a place. Occasionally, this results in that same place being more tolerable to me on future visits.
No company wants to drive away those who might otherwise be paying customers.
You’re smart.
I very much dislike any excessive noise.
And if I am not by myself, I want to be able to converse with whoever else I am with. Many places now play so-called “music” (much of which I very much disagree with calling it “music”) that are uncomfortable or even painful to me; and which make it impossible to carry on a conversation.
Even some gas stations. It seems that a recent thing is gas pumps at gas stations, playing loud, obnoxious advertisements while you pump gas. I seriously •HATE• that.
One local gas station has pumps that play such advertising so loudly that @Seanette and I could not converse while we were pumping fuel. Does anyone seriously believe that such onboxiousness will make anyone want to buy the crap that is advertised in such a rude manner?
It’s been a shit weekend. Very emotional and my husband and I had a fight yesterday and my kid’s been off the rails. We did “Screen-free Sunday” today to try to relax but I’ve noticed when I try to do something with my hands, and my mind wanders, all I do is ruminate. I got really mad and sad and ended up curled up on the bed. I wasn’t even paying attention to the time - typical for me to get depressed around 3pm every afternoon. It’s just been a while since I’ve gotten that depressed.
Fortunately I wrote down what I was feeling rather than yelling about it. I googled “how do you know if you’re being irrational?” And then the chat bot wanted to get involved. Fuck no. But I found an article on cognitive distortions in relationships.
Well I think I was upset about real things, even serious things, but I was engaging in a lot of cognitive distortions fueling unwarranted anger. I took a bath, which helped, and now I’m making dinner. Just trying to salvage what’s left of the weekend.
Also, this is comparatively minor but I bought a paper towel holder and it told me to use anchor screws but the ones it gave me were shitty so I ended up drilling unnecessary holes in my walls (do I really need anchor screws for this?) and four mismatched anchor screws. It looks fine installed, but it bothers me knowing how fucked up the wall is back there. I shouldn’t have listened.
I’ve done that an embarrassing number of times - that’s how you learn. Holes are easily repaired if you ever move the holder.
I just realized that the contractor I’ve been texting about fixing a damaged hardwood floor is a bot.
I’m sorry. I had a day like that recently. Just woke up wanting to cry, and had a hard time getting past it. Keep trying the things that usually work, hydrate, scale back, whatever. Hopefully your husband can regulate himself, and tomorrow will be easier.
{{{ Spice weasel }}}
I’ve had days like that, too. Just remember that your imaginary friends are here for you.
Get used to the idea a house is not fine china. The paint on the walls looks great. But would be apalling if applied to a car door.
The extra holes you know about are nothing compared to the goofs and glitches dating from when it was built. None of which matter now. And more importantly, none of which will matter ever.
It’s totally normal to have pride in your first real residence and want it nice. But it’s unhelpful and unrealistic to expect to create or maintain perfection.
Yeah, perfection is for when you rent the house to someone. Then, every little thing you thought, “it’s not big deal that doesn’t work”, or “it’s not quite right but functional” will be pointed out as major issues by your tenant that you then have to fix post-haste.
//i\\
Read that first sentence again. You know what you’re getting when you get it in person because you can see & feel it & then take it home with you right then & there.
I recently ordered something online that looked like it was coming from MI since that was the address on their website. Nope, just an address, it was coming from overseas, which meant I wouldn’t get it for two+ weeks & with some crappy-ass tracking service. Well, maybe it was good but it was going to take a couple of days to update once they gave me a tracking # & also I don’t read Chinese
Thanks everyone. I’ve been a little high strung lately, I think due to my job, and I think it’s been carrying over at home. It’s like my brain is registering everything as important or urgent.
I’m trying to recalibrate today. I’m working from home this week with the boy. I’m going to feed him lunch, and be present for that lunch, and then play 1-2 games of chess with him, and then work some more, and then take him for a walk.
We had another fight/talk last night in which I realized I’ve been a raging asshole about a certain thing for, gosh, years. There was a lot of crying. I think we’re okay now. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself because I didn’t understand, it was all down to a breakdown in communication and a lot of assumptions. And we have a clear path for moving forward. But yesterday was really emotional to say the least.
Today is shaping up better.
I didn’t catch this before. I’ve ordered towels from Amazon and they are crappy. The first set I got were thin and not very absorbent at all, and I thought, well that is my fault for not being specific enough in my search. So then I got a second set, specifically focusing on something plush and substantive, and what I received was only marginally better than the previous set.
So yeah, from now on, I will only buy towels in-person from an actual store. I have bought clothes, shoes, jackets, all kinds of things on Amazon that I’d normally get in-person from stores where the feel was important, and been satisfied. I don’t know why towels are the exception.
Exactly right. I will never buy towels online again. Unless, maybe, it’s from some place like Target or Walmart, and I’ve had a chance to examine them in the store before buying online. (Say they don’t have the color I want in the store, and they have it online, I’d buy it then I guess.)
I went through that last year. We had to get our air conditioning system replaced (I’m pretty sure I talked about it extensively in an old monthly mini-rant) and our attic access point wasn’t large enough, so they had to cut it larger to get up in there. They then put me in touch with a guy who could fix it back to how it was, and in the process he asked if we had any of the paint that was used on the ceiling. It turns out we did, because the company that built it left small cans of touch-up paint for us (we are the first and only owner of this house; we bought it before it was even built). I provided it to him, and he did a great job, but for whatever reason the new paint isn’t exactly the same color as the old paint. It’s very close, but you can tell it’s not the same.
However, I was okay with it because it’s just in the corner of the ceiling of our main bedroom closet. Nobody will ever see it unless they are specifically looking for it. I quickly learned to live with it.
Hello from the middle of replacing a ceiling fan. In a 2nd floor bathroom without an attic. I canNOT get old fan housing out. It was somehow attached (to joists with kryptonite nails that I can’t find?) BEFORE the ceiling got put up. Even with a Sawzall, I can’t move it. Damn it, my wife went out on 3 hours of errands, and I really wanted to get this done before she got back!
My “Plan B” is to destroy the old housing with the Sawzall.
Her “Plan B” is we don’t use that bathroom until she can get a pro to finish what I couldn’t.
Grrr…
Those of you with Actual Problems are free to scoff. My health is (finally) manageable, so I’ve got nothing truly important to rant about…
Yep! I’ve bought towels from Lands’ End many times; even with the descriptions, I’ve ended up with some that are a little too rugged, and some that are delightfully plush (although a friend of my mom’s told her the towels were “too fluffy” after Mom gave her a set as a gift).