Is there a crueller gift to give a friend than to advocate she become a moderator?
Good God. Can you imagine the kegel excercises it takes to manage that behemoth?
She must be, like, a Stinky Pinky Ahhhnold Schwartzenwhatshisname down there.
Sorry, I can’t support a mod that actually likes Al B. Sure!
Oh come on, Juanita. He’s rockin’ to the rhythm, the rhythm, the rhythm of the funky beat. 
At least it’s not a banned saw. (Oh, don’t tell me, you saw that one coming.) [sub]Sorry, just jumping on the banned wagon.[/sub]
Banned Name!
I nominate Cranky.
Make her the Keeper of the Ham(p)sters. And then publish her direct phone number in the Pit. 