Auntie Em molds the minds of Catholic Boys?

Some of you have probably been witness to my whines about how, although I like my job OK, I miss teaching. Having taught only at independent schools thus far (which are few and far between around here), I am not certified, and I’ve been spoiled by many of the perqs of independent schools, such as smaller class sizes, so I don’t really want to teach at a public school, anyway.

Well, Friday, I was putzing around on the internet (surprise!) and saw an ad for an English teacher at a Catholic school about an hour north of here. I sent off a letter and resume, thinking who knows what could come of it, but even if nothing did, I’d hardly be crying in my beer, since I’m not desperate for a job. But if I didn’t give it a shot, I’d always wonder. So I sent my stuff, and then sort of forgot about it.

Monday evening when I got home from work, I noticed on my caller ID that the Catholic school had called. Wow, I thought. That was fast! I phoned them back today, and the nice lady said she’d called last night to tell me that the position (which was only open for a week!) had been filled, but that another Catholic school in the area (a boys’ school) was in search of a Yearbook/Journalism teacher.

Since this is not my area, and I’m hardly in the throes of a full-on attempt at a career change anyway, I told her that I didn’t have any journalism experience (which is true) and so would probably not be a good match for that other job, thanked her kindly for her call, and went on about my business, thinking, Ah, well, que sera sera and all that jazz…

After about an hour, I started thinking, What the hell…? All they can do is say NO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE HEATHEN, and I’m really liking this whole thing where I actually make an effort (from the safety of my desk here at my nice secure job) towards getting back to teaching, instead of just whining about it. So I fired off a letter and resume to the boys’ school, too.

And then I sat and felt somewhat accomplished.

Just now I got a call from the Headmaster of the Boys’ school.

WTF??? I’m thinking. I just put my information in the mail an HOUR ago! The postal service is really working for that postage increase!

Turns out that he’d been given my name and contact info by Sister Filled Position at the other school, and wondered if I might like to come interview for the position at his school…?

I told him I’d just sent him my resume (now it was all beginning to feel very fated) and he said he’d be in contact about an interview when he received it.

Wow.

So… can you picture me with a room full of genuflecting boys (guess this means I’ll have to buy a bra…)?

What the hell do I know from yearbook (although I’m assuming that Sister Hookup did tell him about my lack of journalism experience)?

And above all, what am I thinking, anyway??? I can’t afford to live on a Catholic School teacher’s salary! :smack:

Thanks for listening.

auntie em, I went to Catholic school 1st through 12th grade and none of the yearbook/journalism teachers knew squat about it, either. Neither did the media teacher know media, the history teacher know history (both were coaches) or the typing teacher (one of the few nuns left when I went to H.S.) know typing. Around here, Catholic schools are notorious for having “multi-disciplinary” (read, coach) teachers because of their small size and low pay. Small size of the school, that is, although that typing nun was pretty tiny.

Best of luck pervertin-- I mean, molding, those young fellas’ er, minds?

auntie em: If I convert to Catholicism, will you mold me? :wink:

mmmm…genuflecting before auntie em

Yeah, that’s my ultimate goal, alright–to be the Teacher Who Doesn’t Know Squat About What She’s “Teaching”. Thaaaaaat’ll be fun, and earn me oodles of respect to boot! :rolleyes:

I do remember being taught Speech in (public) high school by one of the football coaches, a gruff Italian guy with a Noo Yawk accent… but he did give us good pointers for keeping the audience’s attention…:smiley:

Oh, and John and Max

::Auntie Em wields ruler, taps it against palm::

Any more out of the two of you, and you’ll go straight to hell!

Now, on your knees!!! :wink:

I think it’s great that you’re working towards the goal of teaching. Interviewing for a job while you currently have a job is always great because you are less nervous and so the interview tends to go really well. It also puts you in a good position for negotiating salary / benefits as you are not really desperate for a job and can risk asking for something that may cause you to not land the position.

Look at it this way, even if they do offer you the job, you can always turn it down if the salary does not meet your needs.

Thanks for the mental image.

I agree with auntie em. She is very wise and stunningly beautiful.

:smiley: If I end up with this job, I certainly hope my boys share this sentiment. :smiley:

Oh, and tevya, thanks for the words of wisdom. This is exactly how I feel about the situation. It’s kind of like tagging along with an apartment- or house-hunting friend; it’s actually kind of enjoyable (for a lookie-loo like me), because I’m

Problem is, there is NO way they’re going to be able to give me anything NEAR my current salary (not that I’m rolling in bank right now, but I’m guessing I could take as much as a 10K-per-year hit by switching to the Instruction of Altar Boys), so if it comes down to brass tacks, I’m going to have to do some number crunching to figure out the lowest salary I can accept without going to the Poor House. And I would definitely have to move, because otherwise I’d drive my poor old car into the ground within months, with a 100-mile daily commute…

…plus real estate is much cheaper in the town where the school actually IS, so that would help cushion the pay cut…

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself, now aren’t I?

I have no idea whether auntie em is qualified for the job, or whether she should take it. But I can tell her that the idea isn’t nearly as outlandish as she seems to think.

I graduated from a Catholic high school 23 years ago, and even then, the notion that such a school had a staid, ultra-religious atmosphere was laughably antiquated. Even then, if a faculty member wasn’t teaching a religious class, neither the departmental heads nort the school administration cared very much whether he/she was religious.

Our language department had a Jew teaching Spanish and an atheist teaching German. Our math department was chaired by a flamboyantly gay male who used to tap dance, sing show tunes, and make campy jokes during calculus class (a SUPERB teacher, incidentally, the only truly good math teacher I’ve ever had at ANY level of education).

So, depending on the school, auntie em MAY fit in perfectly. But I’m afraid she WILL have to wear a bra.

Welll, there goes my desire to go back to high school.

Well, dammit, if I’m going to have to wear a bra, I think I at least deserve to be able to threaten people with a ruler.

Of course, that tap dancing/show tunes thing sounds like fun, too! And Hair is one of my favorites…

Once upon a lookin-for-Donna time
there was a sixteen-year-old virgiiiiiin…
Oh Donna oh oh Donna oh oh oh
Lookin’ for my Do-o-nna…

I promise I won’t do the nude scene. :wink: