TaxGuy, I appreciate your concession, however, now you’re asking an entirely different set of questions, none of which are relevant.
If I believed that Malena had a list of characteristics upon which she based her choice of PrettyBoy over Adam, like a sense of humor and honesty and integrity, there would be no issue of shallowness to even be discussing. Same thing if it were a different list of characteristics, such as romance, intelligence and an outgoing personality. It is my opinion, based on the behavior and comments that were shown to us by the producers, that Malena chose Mr. Smile for one reason and one reason only, and that was his handsome looks. That is the very definition of shallowness – not looking below the surface to see if there’s even a human being in there, let alone one you could actually have a relationship with.
Hey, if she likes pretty boys, more power to her! But don’t pretend to be Miss Open-Minded and Non-Superficial when, in fact, you’re exactly as superficial as you look. And don’t lead guys on, feigning interest in who they are as opposed to what they look like, and then dump them the second a pretty boy comes along to make your knees weak.
To me, that shows that she has no depth of character. Is that a “bad” thing? Well, not to her new boy toy it’s not, I’m sure. For me, I’d want to know someone was interested in me, not what I look like. So yeah, I think it would be a bad thing for a guy to only want to date me because I aroused him sexually or he wanted a trophy on his arm and didn’t really care about me as a person.
I know guys that are in Adam’s ballpark, looks-wise, and have absolutely no problems dating. And these guys don’t even have Adam’s money (though all comfortably support themselves).
It’s hard for me to think that, before the taping of Average Joe, Adam consistently struck out with women. Perhaps there were other factors in his life, like his career, that kept him from dating. Or maybe he was somehow not putting his best foot forward … not presenting himself well when among mixed company.
But my overall impression of Adam was that he could date as often as any pretty-boy if he’d had a mind to do so. His exposure on the show will only make it that much easier for him to get attention and break the ice.
Hrmph. You and I aren’t communicating very well (probably my fault).
Here’s Malena’s list of things she looks for in a mate: (1) Physical attractiveness. (2) No, 2; 1 is it.
Here’s Shayna’s list of things she looks for in a mate: (1) Physical attractiveness. (2) Sense of humor. (3) Honesty, integrity, all that jazz. (4) yada yada. . . . . (N) . . . .
You decide that Malena is shallow because her list of characteristics she looks for in a mate contains only one item, and that item is physical attractiveness. Also, you think that being shallow is a bad thing.
I think, on the other hand, that you and Malena simply have two different lists; you simply have a different opinion of what you each want in a mate. You think things besides physical attractiveness are important and Malena apparently doesn’t.
To me, it’s just a matter of difference of opinion, so it’s not the case that one person is bad and one person is good; you and Malena are just different.
So, you saying that Malena is shallow and a bad person because she picked Pretty Boy only because he is physically attractive is like saying “Oh, that Susie likes apples with peanut butter on them. What a bitch! I can’t believe it! She’s a bad person! I’m going to go eat an orange now.”
TaxGuy – give it up. Shayna prefers people whose views of marriage and romance coincide with her own – or who at least keep any other opinions to themselves.
TaxGuy, show me where I said Malena was a bad person because of her shallowness? I think choosing a partner based on looks alone is shallow. As in, Not Deep. As in, the very definition of shallow. I’m not sure what’s so hard to understand about that.
I further said if that’s what she wants to choose a parnter on, “more power to her.” I said I wouldn’t want a life-mate whose sole critieria was looks. I said that she was a bitch because of how she led on the less attractive contestants, especially Adam. I think she was disingenuous in this game. That’s not even close to saying she’s a bad person because of her shallowness. And it’s even further away from that ridiculous analogy you made about apples and peanut butter at the end.
To recap:
Malena chose PrettyBoy based only on his looks. That makes her shallow, IMO.
Malena led Adam (and some of the others) on, pretending she gave a damn about personality (whatever qualities she considers important, whether they include or exclude ones that are important to me!). That makes her a bitch, IMO.
Since this isn’t the General Questions forum, I’m assuming I’m entitled to have viewed this program, come away with an opinion on the contestants, and to post said opinion here. I never said or implied that I was right or that anyone who didn’t find her shallow was wrong. Yet you keep pounding me to support my opinion, as if I have to justify it to you somehow. Well I don’t.
KidCharlemagne, thank you for the compliment. I don’t happen to think my hubby looks like a geek, either. I think he’s gorgeous and sexy as all get-out.
The show is Joe Average. Pick the average guy. That is what the world wants! No matter what people can say (e.g.- gold digger), more people will like the choice if it keeps with the trappings of the the show! You can always dump him after the red light goes off!
You aren’t going to stick with him anyway! The only ones I have ever seen going to the Altar are Trista and whats his name. That isn’t going to last either. Why not at least make yourself look good by picking the noble guy? You can always dump him after the red light goes off!
She had a nice built in defense to the gold digger gripes. She had choses him along all the way BEFORE she knew of his wealth. He had made several cuts based on non-material traits. She could say she wanted him all along.
He is not likely to be seen backstage at an N’Sync concert.
Um, just as a note, Shayna, your hubby, Spiny Norman is, IMO, drop dead gorgeous. At least judging by the pic.
Adam’s big problem, IMO isn’t his looks, but his, for lack of a better word, schlubiness. He slouches, he breathes through his mouth, he carries himself awkwardly. If he learned to carry himself better, he’d probably get a lot more girls.
There is absolutely nothing difficult to understand about that. In fact, I’m surprised that anyone even needs this to be explained.
As for why shallowness is wrong, I think it’s obvious. Appreciating someone for one or two qualities alone indicates a lack of maturity. It demonstrates a failure to appreciate the person as a whole. It’s the kind of behavior that one would expect from an immature, hormone-driven teenager, rather than a mature, sensible adult. It provides a pathetically shaky foundation for any sort of meaningful relationship.
If a gal desires a man due primarily to his physical appearance, then she had better not complain when her skin starts to sag and her wrinkles start to show. I hope she remembers that.
Am I the only woman who thought that Malena was in Adam’s and Zach’s league to begin with? I routinely see Wall Street-successful type guys that look like Adam and Zach with girls even prettier than Malena.
