This might just become my all-time favorite…it’s certainly in the top five. And note the imagery on the graphic! I’ve been laughing for five full minutes already.
Hey, I’m working as fast as I can, but I only have one mouth, ya know!
Yep, you can never go wrong with a dick joke.
Bah. Being an urban planner, I think the fine folks at the Onion really did their homework with this article.
And all this because we didn’t lick Bush in '04! 
I laughed hard at both stories, but this really made me howl:
Now that is a word I will use again and again! 
I love the William Shakespeare one.
This one (Intelligent Falling) is great also.
LOL
Maximum Age for Strollers Raised to 8. Check out the byline. That’s my nabe. I live in Yuppieville and I was beginning to worry about all the children stricken with debilitating muscle diseases around here.
I’m glad The Onion was on hand to explain things to me.
…and then there’s their 2056 edition…
“Could Jimi Hendrix Mk. IV’s Disappointing Synth-Funk Output Spell The End Of The Vat-Grown Celebrity”?
The BJ article had some clever wordplay (as someone who’s edited far too many AP jobless-rate stories), but the magic-wielding city councilman had me grinning, especially the photo of him turning a neighborhood into a landfill. And is that a rug he’s wearing?
Did anyone else see the flash advertisement for the film Thumbsucker?
Maybe a consumer preference for thumbs is a contributing factor to this downward trend.
This line belongs in the article (and is an apropo use of the cunniligus smilie).