Awkward & uncomfortable conversations

In My Humble Opinion
1

Have any stories about awkward conversations? The kind you don’t know how you got there, and can’t wait to get out of? Could be with a stranger, relative, friend, clergy…

…In my case it’s my doctor. My urologist, to be precise. While I was having a vasectomy, to be even more precise. While I was lying there on the table, numbed-up from the waist down, my goodies exposed to the world, the good doc asked what I did for a living. I told him that I worked for a union.

“Oh, you probably voted for Obama,” he said. This was the spring of 2009.

“Uh-oh,” I thought. “Yeah, we typically supports candidates that focus on the middle class and workers’ rights,” says I, tactfully trying to not rile up the man who literally has my balls in his hand.

“Yeah, but it’s mostly Democrats, right? So what do you think of Obama?” he asks. Eventually, after some uncomfortable nods from me, he began to talk about how he thinks taxes should be lower and the government shouldn’t bail out unions (?!), and how he really thought John McCain was a good man who was a victim of bad timing.

I think I limited my responses to polite “yeahs,” and “Oh, I’m not sures.” Eventually he moved on to baseball, for which I was especially thankful.

This was, without a doubt, the most uncomfortable conversation I ever endured.

2

“I’m sorry, but this is not a conversation that I want to be having right now.”

Or, if they make uncomfortable comments (such as friends making racist, sexist or politically extreme statements;

“You know, I’m probably not the right audience for this”

3

Sure, but I guess I was more looking for examples of uncomfortable conversations you’ve had, not how to get out of them.

4

“Do you know why I pulled you over?..”

5

“Because you were bored and looking for some company?” :smiley:

6

My coworker came into my office about 30 minutes ago to ask my opinion of a blog post she was making to a breast cancer support site about the complications of her reconstructive surgery. I’m sorry you had cancer, and I understand that it was traumatic for you, but I really don’t need to hear all about flaps and drainage and the other specific details, and I don’t really have a lot to offer in the way of constructive criticism.

I just let her talk, and then made a few polite comments. How am I supposed to know if this is what the people in the support group want to hear? If they asked specific questions about the surgery, I suppose they want to hear the answers. All I know is that I really do not.

7

If a guy had a knife and my private parts, I wouldn’t say anything to rile him.

8

One of the worst was with my mom, two days before she was about to have major surgery. (She only told me that day, stating “If you need to get a hold of me, don’t e-mail me, because I have surgery prep tomorrow, and I won’t be in the office.”

Now, to be fair, it is a huge point of contention in my family that my parents keep medical news from me, as if I couldn’t handle the news. They knew my grandmother had cancer for 6 months before they told me, and only did so because I was going to see her when I went back for Thanksgiving. The rationale was that they didn’t want me to worried or concerned when I was starting law school. I was livid that they kept it from me, and more than a future “heated conversations” were had about that decision.

So, when I pressed my mom, months later, about this surgery, she makes mention that the doctors found something similar that was in my grandmother, but they think they can nip it in the bud.

I was in such shock, all I could say is, “Just make sure they use the right amount of anesthetic. I’ve heard stories about people who are conscious and feel everything, but can’t communicate with the medical staff.” I literally did not know what else to say, and my comments went downhill from there. I felt myself just digging the hole deeper and deeper, but couldn’t think how to salvage the situation. It was horrible.

9

No idea, officer. Why did you?

10

I’ve had that conversation shortly after buying the stinkiest weed I have ever had in my possession. The odor was SATURATING the cab of my pickup, and had to be noticeable.

While my answer was “Because I was speeding on the access road?”, my internal dialogue was “Dude, you have to be smelling this. Quit torturing me by pretending you don’t”

Apparently he actually didn’t smell it, or didn’t care. I happily paid that ticket.

11

Once I was going back to college by bus after going home for Thanksgiving. It was a really sucky trip. I had missed an earlier bus, the bus was crowded, the weather was cold and miserable.

The guy in the seat next to me was a sad-looking older guy, maybe 50, in rumpled clothes. To make conversation, I said something about what a miserable day it was.

He replied, “It sure is. I’m just coming back from burying my ex-wife. My son killed her by hitting her in the head with a phone.”

:eek::eek::eek:

I really didn’t know how to carry on that conversation…

12

On that note, out for a drive in a friend’s new car (back in college). It was him, me, another friend and a big joint. We’re about to light it and the other friend, for some random reason says ‘you should wait until we get out of the city’. He takes the joint and puts it above his sun visor and about 10 seconds later we get pulled over. Cop does normal cop stuff, then a second cop shows up and starts checking IDs. Keep in mind this joint is inches away from the cops face. Turns out the cop was running license plates and since he got the car that day the plate was still registered to his old car. Got it all cleared up, drove about another mile and lit the joint.

As for awkward and uncomfortable conversations. Twice I’ve been in court with (against) friends. I had an apartment with a few other people and, to make a long story short, one of them just wasn’t there one day. I paid nearly $2000 to get us out of that jam and sued him for it (and won). The other time I had a friend/employee quit and then go for unemployment, especially uncomfortable since we arrived at the same time, rode up in the elevator together, left together. Not fun.

13

Campus police came upon a group of us who were taking a late night swim. I had climbed out of the lake already and was sitting on a rock when the officers arrived. I found myself saying those unforgettable words, “Yes, officer, I think I do know where my clothes are.”

Other incident, couple years later… I happily accepted an invite to a casual friend’s house for dinner assuming it was part of our regular group dinners with the same group of friends. Arrived and found it was just me, my female friend and her lesbian partner. After a lot of drinking they asked the question, “We want to have a baby. Would you consider supplying the sperm?”

14

Grr. Me too! My father had prostate cancer for years and it got bad enough he had the prostate removed. None of this was communicated to me until afterward. My mom had cancer for ten or more years and I found out a few days before she died. Now I have demanded that my father be honest about anything serious that comes up.

15

It was the Christmas after the Sandy Hook shooting. After dinner, the family was hanging around watching TV when one of my sisters, out of nowhere, starts on an anti-gun tirade. I forget what we were watching, but it wasn’t the news or anything else talking about the shooting or gun control.

The rest of us were so startled that we just sat there staring at her in dead silence. After a few seconds she got up and told my brother-in-law that they were leaving NOW. So she stormed out in a huff, and I still don’t know if she was embarassed or mad that no one jumped in on her side.

16

In answer to the OP, I would report him to the local medical society. Utterly inappropriate behavior. I don’t assume anything serious would happen to him, but he might just get a letter.

17

My buddy and I were home from college. On New Year’s Eve, we went out and found some booze, then headed out a remote back road to celebrate without bothering anybody. Somewhere along the way, he had found a party hat and was wearing it. He stopped his old Jeep in the middle of the road and we were passing the jug back and forth, when he sees a cop car coming up behind us. Fuck! So he jumps out and opens the hood on the Jeep to make it look like we’re having engine trouble, and I pitch the bottle out the passenger side into a snow bank.

Cop pulls up behind us, turns on the flashers and gets out. “Having trouble?” A gust of wind takes my friend’s newfound hat off his head and blows it out into the woods. “My hat!”, he yells and takes off after it, floundering waist-deep in the swale at the side of the road. The cop watches him for a moment, then leans down and looks into the Jeep, which reeks of rum and asks “Has your friend been drinking?”

“Ummmm…”