Husband and I head to Subway for dinner tonight and was treated to mostly courteous and professional service…except for one small awkward moment. As soon as I stepped in the door with husband behind me, the sole employee (presumably) in the store greets us without looking up from the sandwich she’s fixing for the only other customer in the store: “How’re you doing, tonight?” That was especially prompt and polite, thinks I.
She finishes with that customer, walks over to our end of the counter and proceeds to take our sandwich orders. As she starts making our sandwiches, I note to myself that she seems to be a conscientious, efficient employee. She’s fast and courteous. She smiles and seems pleasant. As I currently work in retail, I tend to be a bit hypercritical of the service I receive, so this, so far, is a positive experience. I am happy.
After she’s gotten my order and as she’s preparing it, she begins to make a little friendly small talk. I’m one of those people who don’t really mind the small talk because I’m pretty sociable myself. She asks, “So, how was your 4th of July?” I eagerly reply that we had a fantastic time and saw a great fireworks display at our favorite place. Thinking it only polite to return the query, I ask her, “And how was yours?”
Her face immediately drops and she says, “Well, I worked. First, I worked at my other job and then I came here.”
Bummer. Now, I feel like a jerk. Apparently, I erred. I’ll try to remember next time that small talk on the job is to be avoided at all costs.
Nah, I don’t think so. I think it would have been worse to assume she didn’t have anything to do on the 4th. Certainly nothing to beat yourself up about, you were just being friendly.
nah I wouldn’t go that far. Thing is when you make small talk you always run that risk. But I feel that she runs the risk as the emplyee, if she engages me so I wouldn’t sweat it too much. Now it if was me doing her job I would have just said something like it was nice, or something innocent like that.
We were at Albertsons the other day and bought these ice cream things and the bagger was telling us that her friend who died enjoyed eating them. Then she tries to back peddle and says, ‘well it isn’t like this killed her’ We just laughed—who needs to take it that serious right?
Thanks. It was kind of weird in that it caught me by surprise because she’d been so cheerful up to that point and I was really excited to tell her about our day. Her reply totally eclipsed the mood and I didn’t know what to say other than, “Oh, sorry to hear that.” After that, the dialogue was completely forgotten and as we were ringing up, she mentions to my husband that she usually she him come in alone to get everyone’s sandwiches. My husband replied, “Well, I asked for some company this time.”
In the car, my husband was talking about how the experience reminded him of people he’s known over the years who had nothing but bummer things to say all the time. You know the people you absolutely dread having a conversation with because you know it’s going to be some sob story? No matter what wonderful things are going on in anyone else’s life, it’s impossible to be happy for them or ever enjoy a pleasant conversation about, well, anything but what’s wrong in their own lives. I guess it’s the Eeyore Syndrome or something.
Oh, BTW, I forgot to ask for it at the bottom of my OP, but feel free to share your own awkward moments with total strangers.
Last month I had one of my sergeants questioning a prisoner about something that had happened. The guy wasn’t talking much. Trying to get a conversation going, the sergeant asked the prisoner is he was married and had any kids. The guy glared at him and wouldn’t say another word.
Turns out the reason he’s in prison was because somebody ran over his kid with a car and he killed the driver.
Now do you feel better about your verbal faux pas?
I did that earlier this week at a con, to an accessories vendor in the dealers’ room. She was very nice about it, though, and even saved my camera for me when I forgot it at her booth and returned looking for it 10 minutes later.
I think you’re approaching this the wrong way. You didn’t err by asking her about her 4th. She introduced the topic, after all. She wanted to talk about the weekend, probably specifically so she could grouse about having to work through it. She was just fishing for a little bit of sympathy.
At my old job in retail, the owner was a real “I can do no wrong” type.
One day, a couple came in. The wife was rather thin, but had a noticeable belly bulge. The owner started going on and on with his usual cliches about having a baby and the wonderful joys of having children, thinking he was being really charming.
Suddenly, the lady turned on her heel and simply walked out the door without saying a word. We all sat there quite baffled.
Her husband apologized to us for her seemingly strange behavior. See, she had given birth a couple of weeks before. There were terrible complications, and the worst had happened. She just had that leftover bulge that many women have for a few weeks after giving birth. Then he ran out after his wife.
I’m so sorry that it had to happen due to these people’s misfortune…but it was GREAT to see the ownder have his ass handed to him!!!
On Barry’s Law: I have a patron, a lovely woman who in the 8 or so years she has been coming into my branch has been pregnant more often than not. She was in last week looking six months or so pregnant, and there’s not enough liquor in Lynchburg to make me ask her.
For awkward moments at work, I’ll pull one out from a couple of years ago when I was without my voice for the better part of a year. One patron asked me what was wrong with my voice and I gave the fairly nondescriptive answer that any complete stranger deserves, which to anyone with half a brain is an obvious “and it’s none of your business beyond that”-type answer. However, she pressed the matter and went so far as to assert that her father is an ENT doc, I think even going so far as to outright say that this fact made her more knowledgeable about these things than most people.
I really had no choice but to explain to her in so many words that was not interested in discussing my medical condition with a total stranger, thanks for asking. Had she pushed it further, I was fully prepared to point out to her that even if her father was my ENT doc, which he wasn’t, that wouldn’t entitle her to my private medical information.
Fortunately, she realized from what I did say either that she had been an asshole or that I am one (equally likely), and has not said much in the way of anything to me since. Win-win, but awkward for a few moments there.
I remember back in high school I was talking with one of my friends about after-school jobs. I mentioned that I had a pretty good one but I was only making minimum wage. Of course, then he mentioned that he was working for his uncle and making significantly less than that.
Reality just goes out of its sweet little way to make me feel awkward.
A friend invited me over for a jewelry party (early 90s). I got to her place and saw one single knee-high boot at the door and I, being the smart ass, asked, “What’s up with that, you only have one leg?” She very quietly said, “No, but the jewelry rep does. She lost a leg to cancer.” Did I mention the rep was sitting just around the corner? That was a rather awkward evening for me.
And about two years later I was chatting with a new friend and we were swapping embarrassing stories. She had been working as a receptionist and kept seeing this lady coming in on crutches. Several months went by and still this lady had crutches. Finally one day the new friend asked her, “When is your cast going to come off?” The lady said, “I don’t have a cast.” Can you see where this is going?
When I was in 7th grade a conversation went thusly:
How was your Thanksgiving Break?
My best friend got hit by a car the Wednesday before and died…
Worst part? That kids best friend was my friend too, made me feel kinda guilty about enjoying my birthday weekend so much (I was out of state and had no idea until I got back to school).
Not at all. I think we’ve all had a similar experience where our friends get to go out and we have school, a job, kids or something to keep us back. It would only be awkward, I’d imagine, if you can’t relate.
I see nothing wrong or awkward about it, provided you didn’t answer with “suck to be you!”. Most people just something like, “damn, I know how that is.”
I used to work weekends-and-holidays shift; I think it was the girl who should have not brought up the topic unless she was willing to cheerfully answer “oh, I worked, but someone has to!”
We just laughed—who needs to take it that serious right?