Do you get annoyed when strangers comment about your food?

Example #1: You’re buying many of the same item (eg, potato chips) because there’s a sale (but you’re not at Costco). Cashier: “Are you having a party?”

Example #2: You’re buying several things that don’t normally go together (eg, chewing gum, strawberry jelly, and raw fish). Cashier (speaking seriously): “Are you going to spread the gum and jelly on top of the fish before you cook it?”

Example #3: Amongst your various groceries is one pint of ice cream. Skinny woman standing in line behind you (as loudly as possible): “Mmm, ice cream!” And again, as you’re leaving (shouting after you): “Enjoy your ice cream!”

Example #4: You’re at a buffet. Person next to you in the buffet line: “We’re being so bad, aren’t we?”

I know that people do this to be friendly and make small talk, but I find it annoying. Anyone else…?

Example 1, no big deal
Example 2, that’s rude
Example 3, getting close to the line, probably crossing it with the final comment
Example 4, no big deal.

Other example, at a restaurant and someone at the next table leans over to ask you about your order (what it is, is it good, etc, or just makes a comment).

If you didn’t make such weird food choices, nobody would say anything.

Oh sure, shame the victim.

Agree with Procrustus’ analyses.

Smalltalk and socializing is hard for most people. Generally I give people the benefit of the doubt for trying.

And yeah, you didn’t ask for such an interaction, but then if everybody waited for an invite the world would be a very dull and quiet place and a lot of friendships and romances would not happen. Smalltalk is the most breezy way to start an interaction and if you’re not willing to continue the interaction you don’t need to do much (e.g. a half-smile and leave it at that), there’s no need to get annoyed.

If I said, with a genuinely friendly smile and tone, “Party’s at your place!” when I see your cart loaded with chips, hot dogs, soda, and beer, would you think I’m trying to shame you, or be an asshole? Genuinely asking because I do this all the time, and I want to know if I’m annoying people.

Strangely, that wouldn’t bother me as much, because those are all party foods, and (I’m assuming) you would not be the cashier.

I find all of them rude and annoying. The fact that someone can see my food (or any other) choices doesn’t give them the right to comment on them.

No big deal. Hell, I’d be happy to just have someone talk to me.

Throw the plate at them and ask them if they have any questions about what I’ll be ordering for desert.

Most of these seem to be what etiquette writer Miss Manners calls “blather”: that is, pointless small talk not intended to be taken seriously.

Miss Manners permits responding to blather with semi-relevant blather of your own, or just a halfhearted chuckle or smile. My responses would probably be along the lines of:

Example #1: Cashier: “Are you having a party?” Me: “Ooh, would you do potato chips for parties? So salty.” (Yes, of course I serve potato chips at parties, who doesn’t, but this is mere blather: the pointlessness is the point.)

Example #3: Skinny woman […] (shouting after you): “Enjoy your ice cream!” Me: “Thanks, you too!” (Does she even have any ice cream? Not the point, this is blather.)

Example #4: You’re at a buffet. Person next to you in the buffet line: “We’re being so bad, aren’t we?” Me: “Oh my! Did you get some of that delicious-looking bean dip?”

What would be rude and nosy is if the speaker were actually trying to pin you down on the factual specifics of whether you’re having a party, or whether you’ll enjoy your ice cream, or whether you’re violating your dietary rules at the buffet.

Which is the point of the semi-relevant blather response: You’re treating the remark as just a content-free friendly gesture, not a serious inquiry that’s entitled to a factual answer.

And that’s why I really don’t know what to make of #2, where the cashier is apparently genuinely curious about whether you’re going to cook the gum and jelly together with the fish. That seems so weird I would probably just stay in blather mode, with something like “Oh well, doesn’t everyone?”

But a lot of people find it irritating to be blathered at about their purchases even if the blatherer isn’t seriously, and rudely, expecting to get a factual answer to their question. So I generally try to MMOB in the checkout line.

Coconut cream pie: it’s good for the complexion.

Depends on my mood, but I don’t think I’d get all het up about it. As Kimstu said it’s just blather. Better than just grunting.

Don’t care. 2 is just weird though.

Why is my 5 martini lunch making you trip? I hate performing the landing at Wellington International and these calm my nerves.

It wouldn’t annoy me at all. In fact, if it was before Covid and you were in the line in front of me with something interesting on the conveyor belt, I would ask you about it. Just because I like chatting to people. Mind you, of your examples the only one I would ask is the first one, "Looks like party to me, what’s the happy occasion. "

I have never come across anyone that isn’t happy to have a talk about what they have planned. One Maori woman, who had a huge bag of meat cuts that I couldn’t identify, not only explained that they were lamb neck chops, but took the time to tell about the traditional "Boil Up.’ And tell me how to make it.

Another time, the woman behind me at Aldi had a trolley containing about 20 bottles of alcohol and a tub of butter. I said to her, “Looks like the perfect balanced diet.” She explained she was taking a long break from her job as a prison officer in a maximum security male prison so she was having a bit of a party.

When I’m out trying to just get through my day, don’t fucking talk to me at all unless it’s about the business at hand. I’m not out to chat or meet people. I’m out because I have to be and I want it over as soon as possible. When I’m chilling at the bar, then you can say something. But don’t expect me to be too chatty back until I’m 3 or 4 beers in.

Most of the time people are simply trying to exchange pleasantries. Sometimes they’re awkward about it and it can come out weird. But they are typically trying to be pleasant and sociable. And I will engage in that. It helps to make the world a nicer place.

When their comment is obviously rude, and this rarely if ever happens, I simply take the high road, smile, and say, “Well, have a nice day.” But that usually has ended by the high school years.

None of these would bother me. I pretty much agree with @Kimstu 's analysis. Except i would have assumed the question about spreading gum on the fish was intended as a joke, and I’d be slightly annoyed by the ice cream comment, which feels just a little like sweet-shaming. But it depends on the tone of voice, the facial expression. Mostly I’d take it as just social blather, which i generally appreciate. It’s a way to recognize that the person in front of your is a human social creature, too.

#1 strikes me as pretty normal small talk, and I’d assume #2 was trying to be a joke even if it didn’t quite land. I’d find #3 weird and annoying, but mostly because of the shoutiness. #4 is mildly annoying, but NBD.

The kinds of food-related comments that really bother me are ones that suggest the person has been looking at me way too closely or in creepy ways, like the time some stranger on a whale-watching boat told me “You eat really slowly” (WTF, what am I supposed to do with that?) or the random old guy in the meat aisle at the supermarket who said “You should eat lots of MEAT because you’re really skinny.” (Ick. It was fourteen years ago and I’m still feeling the ick.)