I suppose that there might be varying definitions of what constitutes “small talk”, but I think we all know the general idea: conversation of little importance whose primary purpose is to prevent awkward silence. Frequently involves the weather.
So: do you talk small?
I do indeed. If you want to get to know other people, you have to talk to them. Small talk is your conversational hand offered to someone else - it says, “Hi, I’m here, you’re here, and I’m willing to talk to you.”
I’m terrible at small talk. If it was just me, yeah, if there’s nothing to say, I’d be silent with friends and strangers alike.
But I appreciate the value of good small talk - I’m not exactly in sales, but I do deal with customers nearly every day. I’ve come to recognize the importance and value of it. I’m in awe of how some of our better salespeople do it.
I’m still trying to get better at it myself. It’s tough. It would be a lot easier if I cared about or followed sports, but that’s just not my thing. I’ve made some progress - asking about customer’s business, talking about the weather, asking about their families. It’s still a bit unnatural to me, but it’s a key skill in business so I’m still trying to build it up.
I hate, nay, loathe small talk.
Opening your mouth, because you feel uncomfortable with silence, or you like hearing your own voice, is the pinnacle of annoying.
Let’s have a freaking discussion about something. Otherwise I’m bored to tears.
It’s another reason why I hate phone calls that have no other purpose than just to say, “heya!” Nuh-uh. Call with a purpose. If you want to just catch up or shoot the shit, let’s at least do so in person, when I’ve at least devoted my time to hanging out with you, rather than when I’m in the middle of working or something else.
no. if I don’t have anything to say, I try to keep my trap shut.
I don’t find silence awkward but I engage in ‘small talk’ frequently. I also like talking about topics deeper than the weather, even with people I don’t know well.
I will indulge someone else’s small talk, if I can tell they’re uncomfortable in the silence. But I don’t initiate it.
With people you don’t know well, how do you get to medium talk or large talk without going through (at least a bit of) small talk first?
I suck at small talk, especially with people I don’t know well or at all. I wish I knew how to do it, but it seems like people who engage in small talk really aren’t thinking, their brain is just shunting all random thoughts directly to the mouth.
I despise small talk. I’m on the phone with clients almost the entire day at work, and I HATE discussing the weather. Yes, I’m in Phoenix yes it is hot as hell in the summer and it is nicer here in the winter that where you are.
The poll answers were a bit limiting, I went for option 2.
My real answer is that social interaction is beneficial and so just talking about the weather or whatever can be good just for that reason. But it’s a shame that such “conversations” tend to outnumber genuinely interesting or even profound ones by about 10,000 to 1.
Oh, I tell you what I really hate though: small talk humour.
Those light-hearted comments about how the wife must be obeyed, how chocolate is the most important thing ever, how one can’t function without coffee etc. So lame.
Sometimes I wonder if years from now, anthropologists will talk about the ritualistic importance of small talk in office culture and what it signifies.
I don’t really love small talk either but agree that you have to talk about the silly little things before getting to medium/big talk. Plus when you first meet someone, it’s often hard to make conversation about much of anything…but once someone’s been your friend for a while, it’s like you never run out of things to say. But if you don’t talk about anything you never get to that point where it’s easy/fun.
“I don’t want to talk small talk
Now that I’m alone with you
I don’t want to talk small talk
We’ve got bigger things to do
Let’s not talk of the weather
Or the fashions for the fall
Why don’t you stop all this small talk?
I’ve got something better for your lips to do
And that takes no talk at all.”
Oh I find it hard to avoid.
Yesterday I talked two complete strangers into buying the marinated beef I was buying, by explaining that a guy at work had taken a photo of it to make sure I knew what to buy.
I usually talk to the stranger in front of me at the supermarket checkout. I guess what their purchases mean.
“Looks like a kids party to me.”
“What the hell will you cook from that?” Turned out to be a Maori Boil-up. We sat around and she explained the recipe.
I want to select options 1, 2 and 3. I’m comfortable with silence, I’m happy to engage in small talk and I also enjoy medium talk with the right person!
Exactly. I’m perfectly comfortable with silence (I spend most days alone and not talking), but when I’m in a social situation, I make an effort to get to know the people I’m socializing with. I don’t do brainless small talk, though - I am actually making an effort to get to know the people, and am paying attention to their answers and looking for openings for an actual conversation.
Options 1, 2, and 3 all apply. I’m pretty easy going.
It’s easy. You just immediately dive into the probing questions as soon as you’ve learned the person’s name:
Friend: “Hey Cryptic, this is my friend Nargit. Nargit, this is Cryptic.”
Nargit: “Nice to meet you, Cryptic.”
Me: “Yup. So what do you want to change about the world?” or “What would you do if you had more time?” or “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”
Sometimes it takes a bit of clarification to get anything useful, but usually it leads to very satisfying conversation. If all they can do is mumble incoherently or dance around the question, I walk away. I absolutely love conversations like this, to the extent that all of my close friends warn their friends of “the interrogation”. Weather? Football? Where the person is from? DGAF.
Bwuh? I don’t get the beef with small talk. No, it’s not life-changing, but it’s still a pleasant way to interact with people, unless the person is a boring and terrible conversationalist, in which case I’d prefer silence. People who claim all social interactions must involve a discussion of Heglian ethics or else they’ll die of boredom are full of shit.