This thread brought up a very interesting question for me: do people actually enjoy making small talk at cocktail parties? It obviously serves a purpose (trying to find new and interesting people), but does anyone really enjoy the process? I’m obviously a bit biased seeing as how I’d rather gouge an eye out with a rusty spork and feed it to my pet goldfish than have to make light conversation with a stranger at a party. Oddly enough, it doesn’t bother me at work because it’s part of the job.
How about you? Hate it? Love it? Somewhere in-between? Does the setting make a difference?
I love making small talk and I love meeting new people. I can talk to anyone about anything for almost any length of time. It’s that part of my personality that might just be my most marketable skill.
It depends, for the most part, on personal whim. When I wish to engage in it (which often is connected to the state of my nerves), I like it. When I would rather not engage in it, I can not stand it.
Yeah, I enjoy it. Light banter about not much of importance greases the social engine. Making engaging conversation with strangers is an art form. By that I mean actual engaging conversation, as opposed to boring the crap out of some schnook you corner with an extensive description of your action figure collection.
Kinda depends on one’s degree of extroversion. I’m an introvert and find banal chatter to be mindless and taxing on my mental stamina, which I already have very little of because I don’t want to be at this stupid stuffy cocktail party anyway.
I just replied in the other thread, but making small talk is one of the hardest things for me to do since I suffer from depression and feel incredibly self-conscious too much of the time. But I do enjoy it when I am successful at it. I do have pretty good inate people skills, and I am the same as you. At work, no problem, especially if I am dealing with the public, but in a social setting. Egads!
Hey, these are awesome action figures, I’ll thank you very much. I do agree with you that it’s an art. People who really enjoy conversation can transition from small talk to actual conversation really quickly. I’m interested in most subjects, so it’s just a matter of getting the other people on a subject they enjoy and letting them talk.
Oh, I love it. I’m quite good at cocktail parties: my parents used to give and attend them, so I grew up knowing how to pass the hors d’œuvre tray and isn’t that an enterprising frock Dottie has on? and have you heard that poor dear Blanche got run down by an avalanche?
Now I feel like getting out my Little Black Dress and pearls . . .
I’m torn. I can’t decide whether I’m a painfully antisocial curmudgeon who speaks to no one because I can’t either perform or get up any enthusiasm for small talk, or whether I can’t either perform or get up any enthusiasm for small talk because I’m a painfully antisocial curmudgeon.
Half the time when I’m at a happy hour or party or something, I’m thinking about how much I’d rather be home surfing the internet or playing World of Warcraft, not actually conversing at any level of involvement. I have a very limited…someone posted “mental endurance” above and it fits very well. I can only stand so much socializing at once and then all the lights go out in my demeanor and I’m done. It’s kind of offputting for others, I think…
Small talk always feel awkward and forced to me. I feel uncomfortable, I find it hard to fake interest and my brain is always looking for an escape route.
At work I’m on a phone, so while I’m “small talking” I can always be doing something else.
I’m good at it, don’t mind it and often amuse myself with horrible replies-not-made as a secondary dialogue whenever I’m stuck talking to someone boorish.
I wouldn’t say I seek out opportunities for small talk, although I do sort of wish it were somehow more applicable in the career I’m in. I don’t enjoy it enough to want to do sales or deal with the public full time, but it’s nice when my schmooze skills get recognized at work.
For me it’s all or nothing, really. If I know and like you, I can chat with you for hours on end about many, many things. If I don’t know you, chances are that you’ll never hear my voice.
Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…
I absolutely hate making small talk with people I don’t know. I just really don’t care. Unfortunately it is part of my job. I have lots of hockey memorabilia in my office so most people will comment on that, and I can talk about hockey till the cows come home. But seriously, I don’t care about how many kids, dogs, cats, you have or even what the weather is like. Seriously, shut up, I don’t care.
Me too. Especially if I don’t know you. Even with friends, I get tired fairly quickly. I can’t do more than one ‘happy social event with people I don’t know’ every few months. Tops.
I’m with Cluricaun and pravnik: I both enjoy and am usually successful at small talk.
IMHO, it all comes down to whether you genuinely enjoy other people and find them interesting. There is one particular quote that I love and have been using in my sigs for several years now: “Every[one] I meet is in some way my superior” (Ralph Waldo Emerson). One of my favorite things about meeting new people is trying to find out the way(s) in which they are superior to me – perhaps they’re more patient with the ignorant, or nicer to their sibling, or better at math, etc.
