I keep hearing a bunch of things I don’t want to know. Not things that I should know but refuse to listen to, but gross, icky things about people and stuff that really doesn’t affect me, but does gross me out.
For example, a high school friend of mine who I hadn’t seen for, oh, about ten years, called me last week to tell me she and her husband were trying to have a baby. Trying. Not that the deed was done and she was pregnant - they were having sex in order to produce a child. I got to hear way more than I ever wanted to about various types of mucus (see? now I’m doing it), thermometers, and their sex life. I weakly said, “Oh, that’s nice,” and gently tried to change the subject, but to no avail. Instead, I heard more - menstrual cycles, spotting, positions - you name, I heard it. And it was bad.
Now, I seen nothing wrong with sharing this information with a very, very close friend, or my husband. But to call someone you haven’t talked to in order to tell them you and your husband are shagging each other rotten, then going into exquisite, painful detail about positions and cycles? Why isn’t that considered rude anymore? I thought it was, but I’m finding out, through various experiences that I’m wrong.
So, what have you heard recently that you wish you hadn’t?
My mum called to tell me she’s having some surgery. Soon. Normally she never bothers to tell me about her health so this just can’t be good news.
Last Saturday I had to eat dinner with a visibly pregnant woman. Every other woman at the table had to tell birth stories. Way, way TMI!
For some reason, the baby stories are the worst. For me, anyway. A friend of mine who just had her baby was at her baby shower about a month ago, and one of the women there who had a couple of children talked about how agonizingly painful her labor was. (She has premature arthritis, and must use a cane to walk after she gives birth because it affects her joints so much.) I understood it must have been painful, but out of the ten of us, three women were pregnant and had never had children before. I felt terrible for all of them. By the time this woman was done talking, all the pregnant ladies there had that deer-in-the-headlights look.
My sister’s boyfirend’s brother and his wife just had a baby. We went over to congratulate and do some chores (thanks to the helpful doper advice over in IMHO!) while she recounted the story of her nipples taking turns squirting while her husband was frantically trying to fins the breat pump so they could at tleast use some of this milk. . . whoa. I’m not ready to be a mom, not with all those weird body changes. . .
How about a woman I was friends with in sixth grade who still calls and writes to me (NB – we’re both 43 now, folks) who managed to track me down (by phone) at my parents house to tell me that her new husband is mentally retarded and has retrograde ejaculations.
Due to some problems at Boeing Field, where Boeing tests and delivers new airplanes to customers, the engines of many new 737 aircraft have had to be changed. This has meant no engines in the factory where I work. At this time we only have a couple airplanes without engines but we are not expecting any till the middle of January and by then the back up of airplanes without engines will reach double digits. My current job is testing interior lighting and oxygen systems but I have worked on the engine crew in the past.
Yesterday all those that have worked on engine crews and some that haven’t were told to expect long days, including weekends when we do start receiving engines. The bright spot is I can pay off Christmas by the end of February. Gotta love mandatory overtime.
When I get around pregnant women that are almost full term and everyone is relating stories that are TMI, I amuse myself by pointing out that I have personally pulled several calves. I’ll go into detail about things like reaching in to put the chain on the poor animal’s foot, etc. I’m strange.
On the contrary, I think you’re in very good company. I just wish I had decent stories like that to share with people when I start hearing about their adventures in attempting to breed. There are some people I just wish I couldn’t picture having sex. Unfortunately, those seem to be the very people who are bent on telling everyone when they’re trying to have children. When I hear their stories, I’d like to take my brain out, wash it in hot, soapy water, then put it back in, all nice and scrubbed.
Yeah, some here. I could probably google it… but, ironically, I don’t want too much information. No pictures.
This isn’t sex or baby related, but last night on Animal Planet I learned way, way too much about some of the critters that live in our beds and eat our dead skin, and whose feces and corpses we sleep in. That’s not something you want to hear about right before bed.