!Ay, Dios mio! Does anyone know how to follow instructions anymore????!!!!!


This is a rant that has been waiting to happen for the past week at the very least. I just have to wonder about the reading comprehension skills of the so-called educated.

I’d like to think that as crazy and senile as I am getting–Hmm, is it due to this job, which I do love despite the fact that I’m ready to strangle some folks right now?–I’m organized. I go above and beyond the call of duty to notify folks of procedures/meetings well in advance of when things will happen. I sent folks notification for all the things that my program requires them to do at least a month in advance. No entiendo. ?Porque ellos no pueden leerlo? :confused: If they’d taken the time to read what my office sent them, they would have known about what deadlines needed to be met when and taken the necessary steps to meet them. If they had questions, then the information that they got had they taken the time to read itgave them access to folks or websites they could go to for more information. Dios mio. ?Que ha pasado? No es dificil hacerlo.

When I set up meetings, tell you they are mandatory, and tell you to mark your calendars because upon death or serious injury to your person, your tail should be sitting in the room with the rest of my staff waiting to receive final instructions/updates on what’s fixin’ to go down, don’t call me up at the last minute and give me some crazy excuse about why you can’t attend. This is not negotiable. This is your job, and you should make it a priority. If you can’t do that, then don’t friggin’ waste my time! I will find someone else who can follow my instructions. When I tell you that we cannot proceed with Z procedure until B date, don’t call me and ask if you can do it before that date! !No! !No es posible, estupido! :mad: Dejame solo, por favor. I have 50 million things I’m trying to coordinate, and I don’t have time for this mess. But as folks are prone to do, naturally they just have to call and email with last minute complications that they could have handled had they read the material we sent them well over a month ago. And to make things worse, my secretary who’s been handling this stuff is away. Now I’m sounding like all kinds of a fool trying to figure out what the problems are and troubleshoot disasters before they can happen. I’m getting calls and emails and faxes from other offices wondering why X procedure has not been done by my people. And I honestly can’t answer why. It’s not as if I didn’t tell them what they had to do! Soy cansada y me duele mi cabeza. If one more person calls me with some more crazy mess, I swear I won’t be responsible for the consequences!

[celestina sitting in her office with steam coming out of her ears.]

[tiptoes in, places trophy for Best Rant of Week on desk, tiptoes out]

celestina, you sure all those notices you sent out have the important parts in the right language? :smiley:

So how’s work?

I was thinking the same thing Rabbit was- damn, I hope she doesn’t lapse into Espanol in the important parts of the memo!

I hope things get better soon :slight_smile:


Duck Duck Goose, thank you, Sweetie. I feel truly honored that you deem my rant worthy of an award. :smiley: Even though I’m still steaming, I’ve calmed down, and may get to the point where I can laugh about this. [sigh]

Night Rabbit & Zette The memos are written in English, and the meetings are conducted in English as well. When I get really upset, I tend to code switch. I’m embarrassed to say that I see an error in the OP. “Soy cansada” should actually be “Estoy cansada,” or at least I’m almost certain it should be. Oh, I’m so tired I’m starting to confuse myself. :frowning:

Zette, hon, thank you so much for wishing that things get better. :slight_smile: That does make me feel a little better and determined to see that these misunderstandings get straightened out. Soon.

Well, if things don’t get better, I’d be happy to stop by with my nice, sharp, melonballer. I can scoop out eyeballs with incredible speed. It’s my trademark, like a Zorro “Z”



Oooh, Zette, that sounds so tempting, as I seriously doubt I have the strength to strangle folks well. If things continue on their present disastrous course, I may well have need of your services, and I’d like to see what other inventive measures Dopers can devise to get folks to get a clue because, frankly, I’m at a loss. I don’t know what else I can say or do to communicate more effectively with folks who can’t be bothered to read the information I send them.


I’m picturing Celestina in a cute Ricky Ricardo voice screaming “Luuuucy!!! You have some ‘splainin’ to do!” and then lapsing into spanish…

The name **celestina ** sounds hot. Sorry, not much in way of contribution.

Celestina, you should heed your name and place a curse to those that defy you!!! A very nasty one, if possible!

[size=1]PD. Celestina is the name of a 14-15 century play character who among other things is a witch.**

ARGH!!! Damn code! sigh… :smack:

ARGH!!! Damn code! sigh… :smack:

So I’m sitting up in a meeting today trying to handle business. We’re talking shop when someone asks me a question. Good. That’s a good thing, right? It means they’re thinking about things, and they want to carry the discussion further, or just at the very least they’ve been paying attention. They read the material like I instructed them to do. [sigh] No. I gave you the damn folder with the information in it a month and a half ago and told you to read it. We talked about it last week. One of your teammates just finished listing the steps involved in procedure B a few minutes before you asked the question!!! Hell, you’ve seen this in action several times before! So why are you going to sit up in that meeting and ask me what does B procedure mean?! :smack: !Madre de Dios! But I was good, y’all. I really was. I calmly instructed this person to open up the folder I had distributed to the team with all the information that they are responsible for knowing and acting on. I told them to take out the appropriate papers, turn to page 2, and then I read where it says that B procedure requires Action 1, 2, and 3 only to watch you, looking sheepish now, say, “Oh.” :rolleyes: You know. I really don’t mind questions. I enjoy questions. Most of the time. But I expect folks to ask questions that demonstrate that they have at least attempted to engage the information first. I could have understood a question worded like so: So does B procedure require Actions 4 and 5 in addition to Actions 1, 2, and 3? ?Entiendes la diferencia? ???Entiendes que hay una diferencia entre los dos!!!

[celestina taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling]
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest . . .

Astroboy 14, hon, I wish I knew how to cuss properly in Spanish, but I don’t. I know joder and puta and that’s it. Do any of y’all Dopers know some good Spanish cuss words and phrases that I can add to my repetoire?

Xavier, [giggle] why I don’t know what to say except that my friends often accuse me of being born on the sun. :wink:

KarlGrenze, you don’t know how tempted I am to do exactly that, except I don’t mess around with curses and stuff because that shit’ll come back to haunt you. :eek: And I already have far more drama than I need as it is.

Oohohohooh… waves hand I can help you, I can help you!

With the cuss words, of course!..and the code must be right this time, dammit!

Since a made myself a member of this prestigious congregation, the SDMB, my english has improved a lot. It’s time to pay my debts.
First celestina (I don’t know in English but in spanish your nickname is another word for whore) you are right the correct way is “estoy cansada” not “soy cansada”
Second a list of insults I’ll assume you want to insult one male:

“La puta madre que te pario” (this is the standard argentinian insult like your fuck you).
" Boludo"
“La concha de tu madre”
“Anda a hacerte culiar”
“Me cago en vos”
" Me cago en la puta madre que te pario"
" La concha de tu hermana"
" Culiado"

This are all meant for an argentinian audience, if you are going to insult a mexican, for example, never use vos i.e. “Me cago en vos” would be “Me cago en ti”. Because for all of the other spanish speaking of this culiado world vos is even more formal than usted, we use it as a equivalent of tu.
If you need more advices of how to use Cervante’s language in a correct way when insulting. I’ll be gald to help

No I only need to learn to use punctuation marks :slight_smile:

You could also say “Váyanse pa’l carajo” , “Jodansen”, “Hijo de puta”, “Pendejo”, “Cabrón”…just to vent you could use “Carajo”, “Coño”, “Puñeta”, “Mierda”…in addition to what Estilicon said…of course, if someone says Boludo to me I will just start laughing, since it is not standard insult for me…

Now excuse me while I go to wash my mouth with soap and vinegar… :slight_smile:

“Jódanse”, without n…I was thinking of a joke…

And while Estilicon’s helping you with the idioma de Cervantes, I can help you out a bit with la langue de Tremblay… I codeswitch when I get pissed off too, but into Quebecois French, which I swear in fluently. It’s much more expressive than English, I feel - you can construct curses of arbitrary length. :slight_smile: