I said bitch-smack, not hijack…
Come on you miserable goons - get them sleeves rolled up…
That is so rude. Zoe is way too classy to be saddled with such a distasteful moniker.
Perhaps Demo would be more interested in a backwards hug?
}}}}}}}}}}}}Demo{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
Dangerosa:
Yup, that was my junior yearbook picture.
The only think a nonconformist hates more than a conformist is another nonconformist who doesn’t wear the right uniform.
I thank Big Juju and the IPU that I grew out of that.
I don’t need to advertise my misanthropy, my geekiness, or my wan and pale yearnings for the beauteous pleasures of the darker side.
Another anecdote. It was Sunday morning of a generic weekend sf/f con. Those of you who know what I’m talking about, know what I’m talking about. It’s hangover morning, dump the one-night-stand morning, scrounge the last of the Chex mix from the hospitality room morning, “next year I swear I’ll get more sleep” morning.
I’m in hospitality, eating my breakfast baked potato topped with leftover pizza and skittles, and chatting with the poor guy who actually has to work in the room. He’s been on all night, and just ready to go home and leave the rest of the phans to their day. In walks the String Bean of the Damned, with his sidekick Lilithita. (I swear, the guy must have been six-six and all of 150 pounds, she was closer to five-two in three-inch heels.) They’re clinging to each other, utterly deadpan, in full “I’m the Gothiest” regalia.
They approach the counter and look at the guy behind it. He returns their looks silently for a moment, then comments:
“I’m sorry. We’re all out of dark and foreboding food.”
They didn’t get it.
SF Con, Sunday morning. Been there, done that, too…with and without the maroon hair. Stopped doing it a number of years ago when I realized I’d lost patience watching versions of my younger self remind me of my younger self.
I’m still mystified as to what it is that’s setting Desmostylus off regarding the way you do your posts, Zabali_Clawbane (hugs and smooch symbols? Eh, so what? A lot of us do that around here from time to time, no biggie).
And I don’t know why you were called a bitch. Youch.
But I’ve found Desmostylus, on the whole, to be a very cool, intelligent, thoughtful poster around here. There’s a lot of knowledge inside that head of my Aussie cousin, and I respect that greatly. I doubt that there’s a rotten heart to my fellow Antipodean – at least, I really haven’t seen evidence to that so far.
I just hope that whatever’s between you two can get sorted out amicably.
Peace.
Are you sure that;s not the liver you have there?
Desmostylus Does this mean you are unrepentant, or that you just resolved to “take your medicine”? If the former, then you truly are an ugly person. I wish you well, regardless. I hope you someday acquire a different outlook on life. Brightest of Blessings Light Your Path, Desmostylus.
Dangerosa actually the coloring product I used was Clairol Ultress Ultimate Color: Darkest Mahogony Brown.
Who knows, more than one Doper could have the same tints in their hair as mine. I just left the coloring in as long as possible, and on my already reddish brown hair it had an interesting effect, that I like. I think it turned out well. BTW, it’s not maroon, it’s DARK brown with blood red highlights, and a purple cast like aged mahogany wood.
Also Dangerosa I’m pretty ordinary, that’s what is SO ironic about this whole thing. I’m treated like I’m this exotic, probably dangerous creature because I wear all black pretty much every day. Unless you consider a person who strives to be compassionate and helpful to those around her, and does not break the law, and strives not to cause harm, to be unique.
I’m “unique” because I’m an individual who does what feels right to them. I follow my heart, and I have a good sense of who I am. (Despite getting beat down for being “different” for many years.) My “uniqueness” is just like your “uniqueness”. shrug I’ve said it before. “I do what feels right to me, if it happens to be in style, eh so what? If not, eh so what?” Guess that makes me and “extraordinary ordinary person”, huh? I’m happy with this fact.
Heloise hehe, my mother-in-law was a Mod too. I covet her cape. 
She’s said that she’ll help me make one. I’ve just got to find the right material for it now.
Boo Boo Foo non snarky yet firm tone My name is Zabali not Zimbali pronounced Zuh-bah-lee. It’s no loss to me if you don’t care to read my posts, I don’t believe I’ve seen you very often either, so obviously we don’t post in the same threads. One question though. Did you bother to look up my other posts to see what my overall posts were like, or did you come in with a pre-conception and find what you thought you’d find?
Zenster, samarm, Ice Wolf, Thank you, your words did comfort me. I just felt that what he did was so WRONG. I did not deserve that, it was completely uncalled for.
sailor anyone who would attack another poster for offering support and comfort (when their first post addressing the matter was not clear, and easily misconstrued) has a rotten heart IMO. That takes a special level of bitterness and non-compassion to do.
andros been there, done that.
jlzania the thing is, when I dress up “fully gothed out” I do it to get looked at, the same reason I put on a really nice, non-black dress, nice hair, nice make-up etc. The same reason any woman puts on a “little black dress” or a “red dress”. To get looked at. I “get it”. I just don’t like the “lemming/chicken” outlook on life. It’s something I strive not to do, and I’m not in the habit of doing, so the thought processes involved are alien to me.
Disagree/dislike how I choose to express myself with outer trappings, but why treat me as an uncivilized being? Why tell me “not to make a mess” when I’m sitting down in your gas station to drink my soda and eat my chips? I don’t get that.
She (the gas station clerk) didn’t do this with a teen wearing the “trendy preppy” look, but she did this with me and my husband.
When I looked at her funny, and calmly told her we did not intend to make a mess, that in fact we made certain to throw our trash away, she snapped at us and said “If you won’t listen, then DON’T COME BACK TO THIS STORE!!!” 
(Maybe a polite “Yes Ma’am”, would have worked better, but her attitude rubbed me the wrong way, and I felt like gently addressing it.) This is what I was speaking of, jlzania
The second part of my complaint jlzania, is that I’m treated as a “suspicious person” by the police force, when there are scruffy, (usually males) “dazed” looking people wandering the town at night attempting to mug people, or looking intently into closed gas stations. (We have to walk a minimum of two miles round trip to get a soda and candy bar etc. after 9 p.m.)
I know it’s not just the clothes causing this. It’s who I am, too. This town is full of amoral people, who do meth, and have sex with anyone they please, whether or not they are married. Bald minimal truth, witnessed by my own eyes.
Lots more problems in this town due to the meth/drug use, it’s everywhere. This isn’t covering the “anti-education” mindset of the citizens. They resent “smart” people here. They are very biggoted in many ways in this town. I’ve had three years to exprerience it, and have heard accounts from friends of mine who were born here.
I don’t do these things, and so I stand out without even trying. Wish I didn’t, but I do. I’m not going to stop being myself, we’ll just move when we are able.
Zoe sorry I missed you. Thank you for your kind words.
I know you are pretty normal. Every goth I know is pretty normal. Most of them seem brighter than average. Most of them are nice enough people, with a wicked sense of humor. They are often well rounded and well read. And few of them get why they are treated as dangerous wearing black every day.
(None of them seem very aware of the proto-goths of the early 1980s, either, so you aren’t alone there. They seem to believe they emerged full blown from Zeus’ head about the time Edward Scissorhands was released. But then we 1980s punks really didn’t understand our roots either, as my former Beatnik mother in law would point out).
We stereotype people. Its actually very useful - part of how we survive. Human beings cannot help but classify - we classify everything, people, books, movies, furniture. And as we classify, our cultural conditioning kicks in. You’ve chosen a look that most people class as “dangerous” or “disturbed” regardless of the fact that you are likely neither of those things. People aren’t going to change their cultural conditioning to give you a break. Stop expecting it. Learn to live with the fact that you will be classed based on how you choose to present yourself - and if you choose a “dangerous” look that will mean harrassment (and why you choose to do that for a fashion is beyond me, but its your choice. I made the choice fifteen years ago or more to go for a look that said to strangers “non-threatening” maybe even “nice” - its made life a hell of a lot easier, but your life, your choices). Otherwise, you are just coming off as naive.
Dangerosa a more appropriate descriptive word for me would be idealist, which is not synonymous with niave. I know people can be very ugly, which is why I’m so wary around them. I also hold out the best hope that people will actually behave in a civilized manner, and get frustrated when they don’t. It’s a case of “ought to be, but I know darn well it isn’t”.
Forgive me, but is “crazy bitch” really that hurtful? At least in my society, it’s a pretty mild insult (when it’s not used as an affectionism.)
Does a call of “crazy bitch” warrant a reply stating that someone is an ugly, rotten-hearted, uncivilised, obsessed, sick fuck crazy asshole?
Then again, I’m not sure that penning a lengthy rant complete with these insults, not to mention computer “doodles” and a discussion of one’s childhood love of music is the best way to throw off a tag of “crazy bitch”.
It doesn’t really work that way does it. If you feel insulted by someone you don’t tend to respond with an insult as bad but no worse than the original.
Although it was tempting to just answer the question with a “only if you’re a crazy bitch”.
Narrad did you read the linked thread? It has the context in which the insult was first used. Keep in mind, it’s not just the insult I’m pitting, it’s the fact that he drug me through the muck because I choose to express support and sympathy with ((hugs)) to various posters. More than one poster has come forward and said they thought his words were uncalled for.
He actually dug through 543 posts to find every single example of me giving someone a hug, and linked them in the thread, trying to prove I’m “excessive” in using them! :eek: There were only 19 “hugs” that he could find at that point in time. (There are more now, still only a fraction of my posts though.) Pretty weak assertion that I was overdoing it, I think.
Taken out of context, i.e. not remembering that my posts are responses to the posts of other Dopers, I suppose that to some people, it might make me “crazy”. I’d say though, that those people who found it so were rather “dull” and repressed.
Also, I’ve seen many pit threads lately reviling people for less. What he did was uncalled for in not just my eyes, but in the eyes of some other Dopers, plain and simple. He got “told off” for doing it.
I think it likely, that both you and Gary Kumquat would likely do the same, if someone crossed one of your lines. What Desmostylus did might not cross one of your personal boundaries, but it did mine. End of story.
Yes. We know. Look Zabali, you seem like a nice enough woman, but I can’t remember seeing a thread that you were active in that did not contain at least one long rambling post all about your fashion choices and how special and misunderstood you are because of them.
On the SDMB people cannot see you, and most don’t care what you look like anyway. Yet for some reason you feel the need to describe your appearance in great detail over and over again. Not only is this dull, I think it’s also more than a little sad that the way you look is so important to you that you have to make sure we know all about it – especially since, as I said, you seem like a nice enough woman and you probably have things going for you other than your oh-so-special wardrobe.
So here’s some well-intentioned advice that you are of course free to ignore but that I think would do you a lot of good here: stop talking about the way you look. Don’t describe your clothes, your accessories, your hair, your complexion, your makeup, or the way people around you in real life react to any of the above. Just don’t do it anymore, or at least not for a substantial period of time. There has got to be more to you than your appearance, and you should be able to participate in a thread here without falling back on that subject.
Yes I think it does. Why do people feel they can throw completely unwarranted insults at other people, simply because they are on a message board.
Imagine if it was real life. Imagine you were talking to someone, and they call you a crazy bitch for no reason (or crazy dickhead or whatever). I don’t know what you would do but I would probably tell them to fuck off. This thread is just zabalis restrained way of venting her anger and also to show people how she was treated in the original thread.
heeee! lookie at all them little cupid arrows shooting love at Demo! (IMHO)
Sorry Zabali but I’m with Lamia on this one. At least tone down the use of the over cliched adjectives: “ivory/porceline skin”, “cats eyes”, “blood red”, “jet black”, etc.
It does make your posts read like teenage angsty fanfic. And it’s such a waste, you’re obviously intelligent and eloquent and I find what you have to say interesting and I even have a fair amount in common with you, but this embelishment isn’t helping… Again, IMHO.
How do you feel about these synonyms for niave:
[ul]
[li]enixperienced[/li][li]ammiture[/li][li]odalescent[/li][/ul]
Or, for an antonym, you could try siphosticated
touche’ TBU
Personally I’m just a bit bemused at the changed status of chromosome 23 on Desmostylus.
I think Zabali_Clawbane makes the baby jesus scroll a lot.