I noticed the same thing in reviewing a family chronology. Sometimes there were 3 or more children given the same name, until, as your said, one finally lived past infancy.
What these fine folks have said.
(And, yes, insensitive until proven tribute-ish).
As much as I understand how this could be harmful to the parents who lost their child, but they don’t get (nor does it sound like the sought) veto rights over than name. The other parents may have had good reasons for choosing that name, or they may have just liked it the most. It’s hard to second guess their motives.
Unless they are extremely close friends with the couple that lost their child, I wouldn’t consider this to be insensitive on the face of it. It may be painful, but lots of things may be painful for that other couple.
I have several friends who’ve lost very young children, and I don’t think they’d be offended by another couple they know chosing the same name.
I don’t think it’s insensitive-I’m sorry for your friend’s loss, but she doesn’t have ownership of a name. Unless it’s something really obscure, it’s likely she’ll encounter plenty of people with that name.
Not insensitive at all, and I think anyone (including the parents of the dead baby) are overreacting if they think it is. You don’t get to decide another couple’s kid names, sorry, move on with your life. And don’t be saying “I would never do that to my friends” they aren’t doing anything to their friends, what they’re doing is naming their daughter in the manner they see fit.
Another vote for not insensitive.
Folks are allowed to name their baby whatever they like. If I ever do have a child, Francis (or Frances) will be in there somewhere. Should a friend (or even a relative!) of mine use that name for a child that dies, I will still use that name for my child.
My brother wouldn’t name his daughter Emily because I had a cat with that name. Different case, but people feel somewhat more protective about names than others.
Our first son died at six months old. (complications from brain damage suffered during birth.) I would never expect any of my friends to change their choice of name just because I had one the same “flavour”.
Yeah, right. Like no one’s ever gonna name a kid “John” again! :smack:
I chose a name so simple, so basic, that trying to keep it “sacred” wouldn’t have even been a consideration. I swiped it from his grandfather anyway. 
Another vote for “not insensitive.” It’s a sad situation, but I’m sure a lot of couples wouldn’t drop a name they had their hearts set on (which could be the case) because of a situation like this.
I dunno, there are a lot of names in the world. They could have chosen another.
Of course the couple who lost their daughter will hear the “Emily” name used again. Of course they do not own the name.
After rereading what yellowval has said: mutual friends, the hysterectomy, the bereaved mother referring to “Emily” by name, etc etc I still think the couple who used this name were less than sensitive. They rubbed salt into a wound that is still awfully fresh.
Chances are, they’re going to have the kid longer than they’ll have the friends. Honestly, if I’m having a kid, I’m going to name him/her the name I want, no matter how many dead babies/dogs/cousins/evil dictators/pop singers have that same name. It’s my kid, it’s not like it’s an every day event to have a kid, and I don’t give two shits what the friends/neighbors/relatives may think.
So how is little Pol Elvis? …
Put me down for not insensitive.
Anybody who is so upset that they pitch a fit every time they hear the name either belongs in Sampiro’s family tales or in therapy. Mourning is one thing, but hissy fits for the rest of their life is NOT natural.
And what is the deal with a ‘tribute’ name? I would NEVER consider naming a sprog of mine after someone elses dead sprog, nor would I expect any of my friends to name their sprog after my dead sprogs [and both my dead sprogs did have names, and NONE of my friends named one of theirs after them…and I frequently run into girls with one or another of the names all the time.]
I think it’s kind of insensitive. My first child died at 4 months. Her name was Margaret and we called her Maggie. I don’t think I’d mind if anyone close to us used Margaret, but it would sting a little if someone used the nickname Maggie, especially if it were a child I was going to see often, give birthday presents to, etc.
At a year and a half after her death it would’ve hurt a lot more than it would now at 8 years. It would hurt more if it were a relative than a friend. I wouldn’t make a big fuss, or talk to the other person about it, but it would hurt.
When I was pregnant with my second child, someone (about my age) suggested if it was a girl I could name the baby after my first baby. I had a boy, but chalk me up for “creepy” to be named after your dead sibling.
Another vote for not insensitive.
Choosing someone’s name is a pretty hard decision, and it’s one that takes months. Hell, there are even arguments over it. If they came to the conclusion that they would name their child the mythical Emily, you can be certain that a lot of thought and anguish took place to come to that decision.
If they would have named their car Emily, I’d let them know that they are heartless unthinking bastards. But since they named a kid that, I’m sure they had their reasons, and it’s not your place to question them.
If they’re “not that close,” then why be upset that someone they aren’t “that close” to chose the same name for their own child?
Yes, it’s probably going to be upsetting for the bereaved parents to hear the name “Emily.” It’s probably going to be upsetting for the rest of their lives. But they don’t own that word (or whatever the actual name is).
What missbunny said. This is only insensitive if they are close friends and didn’t discuss it beforehand.
Otherwise, sorry, but couple number one doesn’t get a trademark and exclusive use on a name. Babies, children and people with names die all the time.
Of course, if it was a really unusual name it would maybe be a different matter.
Which of course you should do, being her friend. Just because I don’t think it’s insenstive doesn’t mean I don’t understand that your friend will be upset about it. Of course she will. If she were my friend, I’d comfort her too . . . I just wouldn’t frame it as “Oh, those people were so insenstive to give their child your name!”
What I would really hate is to be the couple who named the child that and perhaps had had a complete mental block on the deceased child. So that at the christening or something someone makes a comment (because eventually someone will make a comment) and they really had no idea their child’s name would be considered either a tribute or a slight in their circle of friends. How far along are they in the naming process? Do you know the new parents well enough to ask if they’d considered it? Maybe saying something like “I was surprised you chose the name Emily, since that’s the name of the baby the Smiths lost last year.” See what the new parents say. Maybe this little girl will wind up going by her middle name or something.
I agree with whomever said there are a lot of names in the world. Sure, it’s your right to name your child whatever they wish (and nowhere did the OP say the bereaved parents were going to have a hissy fit every time they heard the name!). But, the question is were they insensitive? I say yes, if they are their friends. I wouldn’t choose “Emily” if I knew someone who lost an Emily, because I wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings. They may not be hurt, who knows? But to avoid it, I wouldn’t risk it. I’ve lost a child and I would be quite taken aback if any of my friends used the name. I wouldn’t throw a hissy fit, I wouldn’t ever mention it. But it would just suprise me that they’d do it. I’d offer more respect to the possibility of hurting another’s feelings and would sort of expect others to think the same for me.
Just MHO.
In my opinion it’s unreasonable to restrict perfectly normal names from the list of acceptable names to give your children just because someone might get offended. :rolleyes: