Firdt, let me say that I’m an old dude. 
When I was a new father, people didn’t often know the gender (or much else) of their unborn children. So if I seem a little creeped-out by all this pre birth-stuff, please understand. If a baby died before birth there would be mourning, of course, but not a naming of the child. At least not that I remember.
So I am a little mystified that the family (and the cops, etc) in the Peterson case keep referring to the unborn child as Connor. I’m sure they knew the sex, and had picked a name, before the tragedy, but is it common to refer to an unborn child by name before birth?
BTW; there are lots of other threads about the guilt (or innocence) of the husband, so please don’t debate that question here. I really am just interested in whether or not parents think differently about unborn children than we did.
Peace,
mangeorge
I don’t think that it is necessarily a generational issue. A close friend miscarried about two years ago. She and her husband did not name the unborn child, either before or after the miscarriage (I don’t know whether they knew its sex). Several months after the miscarriage, my friend’s mother-in-law informed her that, since my friend and her husband had not given the child a name, she had done so. My friend, who was still grieving, was appalled and deeply hurt.
Well, if the family had all decided on the name, I don’t see what’s odd about using it. My parents had names picked out for my brother (or if he’d been my sister) and I expect they would have used the name even if something had gone horribly wrong.
But NOBODY should be naming somebody else’s dead children for them without permission. That’s…so very very wrong, I can’t say how wrong that is.
Birth is probably more ‘expected’ and miscarriages and other such mishaps are, I’d wager, less common. I’d expect that to lead to naming a kid in farther in advance. Nothing wrong with planning ahead of time, not that I ever actually do such a thing.
When you get into referring to an ‘unborn child’ (a phrase I happen to loathe because it’s a contradiction) by name, however, I find that stupid and if I were running a news outlet, I wouldn’t allow it.
Yes, particularly when the sex of the baby is known. We are currently waiting for our grandchild Gavin or Arihana to make his/her appearance any day now. Avrey made her appearance nearly five weeks ago. In all pregnancies of our grandchildren, names were chosen prior to their birth. Only in the case of our grandson, Dawson, did we know for sure “who” was arriving.
It doesn’t creep me out a bit. I totally understand why Conner is being referred to by name. That is his chosen name.
As far as viewing a child prior to birth, I think it is different now than years ago. Thanks to ultrasound, we know a lot more about them and how/when they develop. I don’t know if you recall this, but I remember when doctors were of the opinion that newborns did not feel pain. Thank goodness, some of that nonsense is no longer believed.
We knew Aaron’s gender at the 20-week ultrasound. We didn’t really have a name picked out at that point, but knowing his gender made it a lot easier by eliminating 50% of the possibilities.
Once we did settle on a name, we started calling him by that name. It also humanized him a bit more. He wasn’t this nameless blob in my tummy, but a person with a name. And since we’d been calling him by name, once he was born, he was Aaron and not just “the baby”.
Robin
A bunch of people at work are getting families started right now. I’ve noticed that most of them have picked names and switch back and forth between the girl and the boy’s name, if they don’t know the gender. If they did choose to know the gender, they tend not to refer to the baby by any name at all, simply calling it ‘the baby.’ Of course, I’m only talking about nine babies, so who knows how this would go with a larger sample.
I’ve only known of one baby who died, who was named, but that was a pretty special case. The baby was just two weeks from full term when her mom lost her. Seemed the right thing to do, going ahead and naming her as they’d planned.
Many people do call the baby by name while it’s still in utero, yes. I’m not one of them, but it’s not uncommon at all.
I’m in the nickname camp; newborn baby g was called Pizza by us until birth. But then, we didn’t decide on the name till she was out. With my first daughter, whose name was chosen before birth, we still didn’t call her by name, though.
But that nullifies one of the questions asked of the (usually) dad when he calls everybody to announce the birth.
I don’t really find the practice odd, I guess. It’s just one of the many ways things are easier nowadays. It wasn’t really that much trouble, not knowing. Kinda fun, actually. Thinking of names fir both, just in case. And the rest of it.
At least my daughters got a few days before they had bows glued to their bald heads. OK, I’m kidding. We didn’t do that when they were born. I’m only talking thirty years ago.
I do feel, though, that naming is a rite of birth somehow.
When I admit patients to Labor and Delivery, I ask of they’ve had an ultrasound—95% have. Then I ask of it’s a boy or a girl and many parents have a name picked out and are using it and their extended families are waiting to welcome this named baby.
Un-named babies are not welcome, huh? 
Actually, in the OLD days, parents didn’t name their babies. Even in America.
I called all three of my children by name before their birth.
I referred to my daughter by her name as soon as it was chosen, which was about two months before she was born. I asked my mother. She says she never did, nor did my grandmother. I think it makes sense that it would be a generational thing because the technology to be able to determine gender prior to birth relatively recentl. And of course, gender is still the biggest factor for most people in choosing a name for their baby.
I think they’ve referred to the baby as Connor since the bigging though, when she was just considered missing and hoped she/they would be found. My understanding was that it was the family-chosen name.
We didn’t have a name picked out for our oldest son as we didn’t know his gender before birth. After his stillbirth, there’s no way we would not have gone ahead and named him. While waiting to go into labour and deliver him, we chose a couple of names we would use because we knew that once he was born, it was going to be very intense. He died 5 days before delivery.
mangeorge, times have changed with regards to naming babies lost before birth. People are strongly encouraged as part of the grieving process to name and see the child. Depending on length of gestation, there may or may not be a service. It is a big change and I think it’s a healthier change than the old way of not naming the child or recognising the child as a major loss.
It makes perfect emotional sense to me that the family is using the baby’s name. How else could they refer to the baby? While there may be some media manipulation involved, I’m sure they think of that baby as Connor, not as baby boy Peterson.
I agree totally mangeorge, but it seems that the convention nowadays is to have everything (sex, name, private school, ballet classes, dietary restrictions,) picked before the event. 
Any wonder that having kids has lost some of it’s magic when it’s all totally organised before the kid even makes an appearance!!
However, (on a more serious note), I do see that in the case of a miscarriage or stillbirth, naming the child helps in the validation of their brief existence and may help the parents/family come to terms with their passing. The death of an infant in these circumstances always accompanies their ‘birth’ too, so I feel that it is absolutely appropriate that they be given names.
Just my two-bobs worth, for what it’s worth.
Everyone I’ve known who was expecting, already had a name picked out and was calling their ‘bump’ by that name, some quite early.
I am due to give birth May 1. I named my child the day before I knew I was pregnant, the first name at least. I was moody and upset as I my period was late, and I really did not even dare hope that I was really pregnant. I was crying about not being able to get pregnant and the late period seeming to mock me when I decided that if I was to get pregnant I’d name my child after my grandfather. The next day, because I was in a lousy mood from work, I decided to get drunk. As a precaution, and in a fit of self mocking, I got a pregnancy test. It was positive and ever since I have been calling my child by name.
I did not get drunk.
My wife is pregnant with our third child. We know he’s a boy and refer to him as Matthew…
In my census research I found a few year old toddlers still not named.
What makes me find the whole practice of giving a name, rather then just having chosen a name on hand, before the birth a little weird is that sometimes an early ultrasound will show 2 fetuses. And then during the pregnancy one of those will be totally absorbed and by birth there will be no evidence at all that it existed. They didn’t say how common this was but they implied that it wasn’t uncommon.
A lot of parenting books these days recommend giving the unborn child a name or nickname,as it helps make the child ‘real’ and promotes parent/child bonding. Personally, after seeing my daughter’s ultrasound pics, I nicknamed her Roswell