If you/your SO were pregnant and had already decided on a name for the baby, but then miscarried, would you reuse the name for a future baby or does that fetus carry the name in your minds forever?
I also wonder at what point does the hospital make a birth certificate if the baby dies. Is there someone with a pen and paper at birth and that’s the cut off line, or if the baby is delivered but doesn’t survive they don’t bother to make a birth certificate?
Male. I’d reuse the name, but add a number to increase specificity. So, Andy died. Andy2 is currently in utero.
Hehe.
My own take is that once the fetus has been named you can’t reuse the names. Don’t be so quick to name IMO.
If you do, never, ever ever, EVER tell the kid.
Strangely enough, my parents did this (not with me). Jr. died at 6 days old, my brother was III. I voted no. Don’t need the reminder, don’t want to do that to the kid.
My uncle bears the name of his father’s firstborn son, who lived only a couple of hours. I find this especially creepy because my uncle and the dead baby had different mothers, with only a couple of years (and a very bitter divorce) between them.
This was really really common in the past, and not just for miscarriages. This is why the Empress Maria Theresa had two daughters named Maria Elisabeth and three named Maria Carolina. It was the convention then, but it’s different now, and I wouldn’t reuse a name because there’s a different set of baggage that comes from being named the name of a dead sibling, rather than being named after a deceased grandparent or uncle or something.
No, never. I can’t say it’s wrong and I’d never judge someone else for doing different, but I would never do it.
I think it would be kind of morbid to reuse the name. Imagine if you found the death certificate amongst your parents’ estate that lists a stillborn baby sharing your name.
There are literally millions of names out there. Why reuse?
I would never reuse a name.
But, I also would not name a fetus.
Jews have the sensible end of this, traditionally, you’re not supposed to name the baby or give any gifts for the baby, before the baby is in this world and alive.
“reuse the name so long as **it **doesn’t survive X hours after birth”. A baby who survive birth are never, ever, “fetus” or “it”. At least to people.
Possibly? It depends?
Husband and I had names picked out for our kinder, both a male set and a female set. (Ultrasound indicated twins, probably identical.) I miscarried at 7 weeks. It was early enough that we didn’t feel that they were “named”, so we will probably reuse them if we get the option. However, at this point we’ll probably be adopting, so we won’t get to choose the child’s name.
I disagree. In my speech, “it” is the correct pronoun to replace the neuter noun “baby.” It’s not disrespectful, it’s just grammar. If you google the words “it”, “pronoun,” and “baby,” you can find a lot of discussion, ranging from the position that it’s the Worst. Thing. Ever. to the one I’ve outlined above. It appears to be a usage in transition.
(Cite from Wikipedia: “In English, words such as it and its genitive form its have been used to refer to human babies and animals, although with the passage of time this usage has come to be considered too impersonal in the case of babies”.)
I doubt I’d ever definitively name a baby early in pregnancy. I might be pretty sure but I’d keep my mind open until the end just to make sure. But I’d feel fine about reusing a likely name if it was just an early miscarriage. If it was later in the pregnancy and I had a name picked out for sure, then I wouldn’t reuse it.
Something else… I’m a male, and I’d lean towards reusing the name, but I have no idea how far along would make a difference, or whether I might change my mind when another pregnancy came along.
Not at all the same really, but we kept the same girls name through all three pregnancies (all boys, as it turned out).
We never knew the sex of the baby ahead of time, so we didn’t have names picked out.
On the other hand, we DID name our son for my wife’s late dog…
I have a friend who carries a recycled name, from an elder sibling who died a few days after birth. He had a hell of a time getting a passport, as the authorities were quite sure he was dead.
My father-in-law was Mike, as was his father and an older brother. Not sure how long the brother lived. FIL had some problems getting his birth certificate - they kept telling him he had his birthday wrong. He’d tell them to look again, and they’d find the right one.
Obviously a long time ago, when things were still paper based.
Kenny.
I chose Something else… because I personally would not give a name to a baby that wasn’t born.