Yes, I’m talking about friends and family. People who, when they try to tell you you’ve done well, end up turning it into an insult.
Here’s my favourite:
My mother and I are riding our pushbikes. Mum is an ex-triathlete, someone who was at one time ranked third in the world in her age group. I, on the other hand, am the quintessential sloth: a computer nerd whose life consists of sitting in a chair. I am about 20Kg overweight.
My mother, impressed by my ability to push hard without breaking a sweat says: “You have really strong legs! But I shouldn’t be surprised. Really fat people always have strong legs. It comes from hauling around all that extra fat, you know.”
Uhh, gee, thanks mum. :rolleyes:
So share 'em with me, Dopers! How did your friend or relative manage to turn a compliment into an insult?
Max.
I attended a company Christmas party at a local Lion’s Club hall. Of course, I dressed up somewhat nicely for it; not formal, but “nice” clothes. Not high fashion, but not sweatpants and a T-shirt, either. I let my hair hang down, since at work, I usually had it all tied back, since I worked a heavy labour job. So having my hair down for the night was a nice change of pace.
At work, we wore uniforms, so everyone was in the same company colours, company shirts, etc. Boring. But we tried to keep ourselves looking neat, tidy, and respectable. A little bit of makeup wasn’t unheard of.
One of the guys I worked with - my age, very nice, easy-going guy, always smiling, a little bit “surfer dude”-ish - comes up to me when he sees me on the dance floor at the party. He stands, staring, looking shocked. Feeling pretty flattered by the attention, I walk over to him and ask him what’s up. He stammers:
“You look good when you’re not wearing your work clothes.”
I think it was just that he acted so surprised. That, and, sheesh, so I look like shit every other time you see me, the other 364 days a year? I only look good at Christmas parties! :smack:
I know he meant well, but it was certainly one of those stop and think moments.
When she was in college, my wife’s dad gave her a gift of a photo shoot at Glamor Shots. Part of the package was a makeover and hairstyling. She also got to choose from a wide variety of wardrobe. The finished product was amazing. I know she is (not was, is) beautiful, but this was the best I had ever seen her look. When I saw the pictures my breath caught in my throat. Wow. I happened to be with her later when she showed the pictures to her grandmother. Granny looked, gasped and said “These are so pretty! It doesn’t even look like you!”. My wife took it in stride, she knew what Granny meant. I, on th other hand, almost busted a gut laughing. I still giggle whenever I think about it.
The best line I’ve heard was when someone at a national tournament came up to SWMBO, did a double-take and said without thinking, “Wow, I’ve never seen you with your clothes on.”
We teach Taekwondo, so folks see us in uniform 99% of the time.
Heh, friends and family can be so nice, can’t they?
Reminds me of another one, this time from my father. I had recently attained my MCSE certification, and had been working five or six years in the IT industry. After ringing me for some technical support, and me talking him through whatever the hell it was he was needing tech support for, dad said to me, “I’m so proud of you, I never in my wildest dreams thought you’d ever become an expert in something!”.
It was at my sister’s wedding, thirteen years ago. My cousin was making wedding plans of her own wedding for the following summer. When my sister approached my (very elderly) great aunt, she said “I’m so glad you could make it to my wedding” to which my cousin added “I hope you’re still alive next summer so you can make it to mine!”
For the record, my great aunt is still alive today.
A couple of years ago, I ran into the mom of a child that was one of our longest-staying customers at the tutoring center I worked at back then. We were talking casually, and I was telling her how I was planning on eventually becoming a teacher. Her response?
“Well, that type of wage might be okay for a single woman your age, but you should really try for your Master’s degree.”
Um, what? This was coming from a teacher herself. I was flabbergasted. I wanted to say something in objection, but the shock of her remark made my response stay caught in my throat. I think I answered with, “ack.” :o
