Forgive me if someone has already posted this, but it’s news to me: Wake n’ Bacon at mathalete.com
There’s room on top for several shakers of your favorite bacon salt.
Hm. It would be a bit better if I could put in a hunk of pig and it would freeze it, slice off some each morning, and cook the slices. Ideally it would be able to go for at least a week before needing to be refilled. If it also did an egg or two, that’d just be gravy. 
They were talking about this on Wait, Wait today. One of the jokes was you’d wake up when the dog ran over your face to get to the bacon.
Heck, just the smell of bacon (or coffee) gets me up.
Chocolate-covered bacon, and now this?
What’s next, a cellphone made of bacon? Sneakers made out of bacon? The iBacon?
iBacon is the ONLY bacon that is self-cooking. With the new Cookin interface you’ll be the among the FIRST Bacon Connoisseurs to be able decide by the individual slice exactly what the meat to fat ratio should be as well as the cooking time. With the WORLD’S FIRST fibrous grease importation system, as your iBacon cooks, it will not only not drip grease, but in fact keep hold of the heavenly goodness so that it veritably gushes in your mouth with each iBacon bite!
The BIAA is trying to cut down on illegal bacon-sharing, no doubt they’ll contact you regarding your blatant disregard of baconright laws and the DMBA. And may God have mercy on your soul.
Someone alert Michael Scott! This brings morning bacon-waking tecnology to a new level of safety!