Fuck it, might as well go all in. Deep-fried bacon wrapped in pan-fried bacon with a sprinkling of bacon bits on top. That’ll be my next dinner.
You won’t live longer if you stop eating bacon. It will just seem longer. Like waiting to die, without bacon.
At least this puts an end to the whole “is there a God?” question.
Is “yes and it hates us” the answer?
I hate it when people eat menthol bacon. You can always smell it in the elevators afterwards.
And the bacon vapers think it’s not as [del]obnoxious[/del] maddeningly delicious, but it still is.
Actually, I read it more as “maple cures cancer”.
Which is actually a shame, really. I much prefer applewood cured bacon. That probably gives you extra-probationary double-secret super cancer.
Life causes cancer.
I don’t smoke, rarely drink, eat home cooked food most of the time. I’m not giving up my bacon and eggs breakfast.
When the last pig farmer is strangled to death with the entrails of the last pig.
On that day I will give up bacon. And I will weep at what man hath wrought.
Wow, thanks! That brightened my morning right up. 
Poor bacon gets a bad rap every few years for one thing or another. The last time was for nitrates, wasn’t it? I used to pay rapt attention to food warnings when I was in my 20s, but as I got older, I realized they came and went and there was no way I could keep up with whether or not eggs were good or bad for me, whether potatoes were good or bad, which fish were dangerous, and yes, whether bacon was good or bad. So I just eat what I consider to be healthy enough and deal with the consequences. I’ve already outlived both my parents in age and 3 of my 4 grandparents. So I must be doing something right.
Eating a baconator right now…and I’m pretty sure I’m about to die. Tho not from bacon cancer.
I don’t eat bacon often, but I don’t plan on giving it up. As a Slovak, one of my favorite holiday dishes is all the fatty parts of the ham getting trimmed off and fried up with some bacon and butter and fried to a crisp. I forget what it’s called, but apparently it’s a pretty common dish in the Old Country.
I probably eat all that bad stuff taken together at most 4 or 5 times a month, so I doubt I’ll change my habits. Turkey and Chicken are my mainstays for meat. Need to eat more fish, though. I tend to only eat fish when I eat out since it doesn’t keep in the fridge.
I eat bacon fewer times a year than I can count out on the fingers of one hand, so color me unconcerned.
The ones with the biggest, sharpest teeth, I imagine.
Fuck cancer.
I’m 57, and never thought I’d survive this long. I eat meat, much of it undercooked! I drink like a fish. I smoke like a chimney (though not tobacco). I’m out in the sun a lot, where even with sunblock vitiligo means I get burned sometimes.
Fuck you, cancer. Come and get me!
Now that we’ve countered that fucking bacon-in-everything craze with a cancer scare, can somebody please claim that pumpkin spice causes it as well?
What they really don’t want us to know is that laboratory testing causes cancer. Have you ever noticed that all cancer studies that found things to be cancerous occurred in a laboratory?
I’m concerned, but I also have food anxiety issues that sort of limit my eating options, so cutting out red meats and processed meats for me would probably drive me to suicide out of sheer stress at trying to adapt my diet.
I take comfort in the fact that in terms of absolute risk, we’re talking about a 1% shift, tops, and colorectal cancer is pretty darn treatable and not hard to catch with regular screening.
What I hope will happen is that these findings will motivate the makers of processed meat to find an alternative to the sodium nitrite that’s more human friendly, but in the meantime, I will continue to have some processed meat, just about once every day.