Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube®!!
It’s for vegetarians who have no source for their oh so handy bacon grease. Have any of your selfish meat eating friends ever offered you any of their bacon grease for those around the house chores? How many times today have you said “Hmmm… this needs a little bacon grease.” From squeaky screen doors to polishing your church shoes, it is the product for you.
We haven’t forgotten you carnivorous folks either. Just imagine… Dinner is coming up quick and your significant other has used this mornings fresh grease winterizing his/her shotgun. What to do? Never fear homemaker, reach for your tube of Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube®!!! Tastes great in beans, greens and all that’s in between. Replace that old fashion mayo in your BLT with modern Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube®.
For our up-scale shopper. Tired of Sundried-Tomatoes-In-A-Tube®? Is Anchovies-In-A-Tube® just too provincial? Step out of the box! Try Bacon-Grease-In-A-Tube® on your next alfalfa and tuna lip sandwich!! You will thank your self!
A few things:
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Welcome and salutations, enjoy the boards, the folks, the stories and the flirts. Always nice to have a newcomer.
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Now about that Name, there is one and only one Wally of any kind, WallyM7. There are many of the Teeming Millions who may take offense at your name, and you should not be blamed. WallyM7 was the heart and soul of the SDMB, touched hearts and lives, and was universally loved. He passed away several months ago, and is still referred to in reverence and love on a daily basis. Please consider changing your name. I say this in all seriousness.
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Hi Opal!
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As for content of OP, I must say “WTF?”
You’re a very, very odd newbie.
You’ll do well here, I think. 
Um…you can already buy bacon grease at the store. It’s called “LARD.” Right next to the Crisco.
Wally’s been reincarnated already?
UncleBill
I’m sorry that I’ve never met Wally. Whenever his name is mentioned it is with much love and loss, I will respect that. At your request I will cook up a new moniker. The SDMB looks like a great community.
Yours,
Walter
And for those carnivores who lack a vegetarian in their lives it’s…
Flatulence-In-A-Can[sup]TM[/sup]!!
Yes, now even those don’t have the pleasure of a self-rightious sprout-eater in their homes can enjoy the truly unique ambience that only a diet of lentils and chick peas provides!
Never again be subjected to tall people sitting in front of you in theaters. One puff of the patented Methane-A-Matic[sup]TM[/sup] nozzle guarantees you a comfy Zone of Alone in all directions! Better than mace for repelling assailants, bears or unwanted guests!
come on, VV, lard and bacon grease aren’t the same thing at all. Lard is pure, white, fresh pork fat that’s rendered. It doesn’t have all the little brown bits and scrapings that give bacon grease its character, nor has the fat itself been smoked.
Welcome aboard, Walter. Thanks for the consideration regarding your username. I assure you it will be much appreciated all around. Just email tubadiva@aol.com and tell her you want to change usernames (whatever you do, don’t re-register under a different name). I cast my vote for Sweet Walter.
Again, welcome, and I hope you have fun here!
Definitely the luckiest woman in the world!
Click here to find out why.
Sweet Wally welcome aboard.
About your user name: from someone who knew WallyM7 I see nothing wrong with it. I have a differing viewpoint than UncleBill. There will not be “only one Wally of any kind.”
You are not trying to impersonate anyone else. Sure there was only one WallyM7, who is loved and respected, and the likes of him will not be matched on these boards again. However, I don’t see why that should mean no one else can have the name “Wally” in their username, especially if it happens to be their real name. If the mods and admins don’t have a problem with your name, I don’t see why anyone else should.
Anyway, enjoy your stay.
Names are a hot topic around SDMB lately per this thread
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64019&pagenumber=1
Be careful, per CrankyAsAnOldMan’s
observation in that thread make sure you don’t choose something like “BustyJuggs” or “Cutie” or “TotalBabe” or “HeadGiver Extraordinaire” etc." and assuming you’re a guy per the “Wally” portion of your name you should never, ever consider names like “Mr. Hard Body, The Human Piston, Little Head Thinker, Tumescent4U, Pink Snuffalufagus, Lonely Chippendale, Dr. SinglePorsche, JewelsforSex” etc. as these could be considered “distracting” from the sacred purity of your words.
I must cast my vote with UncleBeer
nothing against you, but there can only be One Wally.
Fuckin’ Right 
Because that’s all it was. I don’t disagree with you Crunchy, you are just wrong. 
And it was UncleBill, not UncleBeer. Get your I’m-so-full-of-myself-I-speak-for-everyone jerks straight, please.
excuse me, Unclebill. I’m still not used to typing or seeing your name.
I don’t feel as I am a I’m-so-full-of-myself-I-speak-for-everyone jerk , I made a mistake
I’m sorry.
I’m with Crunchy. It’s a name, folks. I didn’t know Wally well-I think he died only a month after I came here-but I think he’d probably say you’re all being putzes over a name. (Can you say, Putzes, btw?)
Thanks, Chef!
Lard is just an ingredient, bacon fat is food!
(I don’t know how some of these people survive without wasting away!)
it’s more of a sentimental thing, Guin.
and Guin, I think he’d be laughing at us for this.
First of all, back at ya. I appreciate the sentiment, UncleBill (at least I know which Uncle I’m talking to), but I don’t think it’s very realistic or practical suggestion that no one can have the name “Wally” in their username in any way at all.
Second of all, before everyone starts suggesting that Sweet Wally change his name, we should stops to think for a minute that the name Wally has not been trademarked, has not been retired, and is not forbidden from use by the membership agreement.
I liked WallyM7 as much as anyone else here, but Sweet Wally has every right to choose that username. I don’t see what right we have to suggest he change it simply because it reminds us of someone else.
We can’t ban all usernames with the name “Wally” in them.
I know. And that’s what I mean-he’d be laughing about this.
Then what else is it?
And I believe UncleBill was referring to himself in a self-depricationg way with the “Get your I’m-so-full-of-myself-I-speak-for-everyone jerks straight, please.” UncleBeer being one jerk, and Bill being the other.