Bacon is NOT finger food

So I am eating breakfast and reading a book at a local diner and I hear “Bacon is NOT finger food! Use a fork!” I was eating my bacon with my fingers. I look around thinking “Are you talking to me? Are you talkin to me?”

She wasn’t, she was lecturing her morose-looking companion. “If you have to wipe your fingers afterwards, it is not finger food!”

I couldn’t help but think: “She’s a keeper buddy, hold on tight.”

Another mundane and pointless post brought to you by Khadaji.

I wonder how she eats potato chips! With a spoon?

I cringe to think how she eats a hamburger.

The only type of bacon that could be properly picked up by a fork is floppy half-cooked fatty bacon. And that stuff is gross anyway.

Real bacon, the crispy-crunchy kind, crumbles into bacon bits when you try to get at it with a fork. It just begs you to take it up with your fingers… maybe dip it into maple syrup… mmmmm

And you don’t wipe your fingers after! You lick them!!

So she thinks we should be eating hot wings with a fork? And crab legs?

Wow. Those things are complicated enough without adding useless utensils!

She was saying this to an adult companion? Holy cow. And here I though napkins served some useful purpose other than table decoration. Poor fella.

  • sunfish, who always eats bacon with her fingers

candy bars
crackers (with or without cheese, meats, fish, caviar, humus, etc.)
fruit of nearly any kind

Sounds like a control freak to me…

Maybe she’s trying to save the environment from greasy napkins. I can only hope.

Yep. I was guessing husband 'cause I’m thinking if he could still get away he would…

Wipe hands? Great day in the morning! That’s why men get dogs.

I’d love to see her eat a plate of ribs (mmmmmm, ribs) without using her hands!

That’s the best part: needing a shower afterwards :slight_smile:

Mmmmm…unexplained bacon…

Sorry. No really, sorry. :frowning:

I can’t really picture how the bacon is being served in this situation though. For me, bacon is nearly always served either in a sandwich or on a plate with the rest of the English Breakfast goodies. I can’t imagine a situation where you would actually need to use your hands.

Please to explain.

In the US, bacon is most often served for breakfast as a separate item, commonly with fried eggs and/or pancakes, and is finger food. Bacon as an ingredient in another item (omelet, sandwich, etc.) also happens.

The woman is a control freak.

Perhaps in the UK bacon is a different type of food than in the US. In the US bacon is typically a long strip of pork meat and fat that is fried in it’s own fat until it becomes crunchy. It is damn near impossible to eat this with a fork as it tends to break into ever smaller pieces the more it is attacked with a utensil.

Picture of cooked bacon

She may have lived through the Great Cheeto Rationing Crisis of aught-three, when anyone found with cheeto dust on their fingers was accused of violating the rationing procedures and shot on sight.

Eat your cheetos with a fork, people!

Sorry, lno, but think about that for a minute; how can you possibly each cheetos with a fork without smashing them to pieces?

For cheetos and other suck snack foods, one must use chopsticks.


I meant such.

They do; one can stuff them in the mouth of an overly controlling and obnoxious dining companion.

Mmmmm… finger food!

So, what’s the consensus on chicken? I like to eat it with my fingers but I seem to be in the minority.

Back in Aught Three, Mountain Dew was as plentiful as the mountain dew. Thus, to eat your cheetos with a fork, you had to soak 'em in the Dew.