Bad, bad, bad Bayliss bit whose bum?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

:scream:
So …I’m relaxing, tryna find my extra hour.
The grandkids rush in hollerin’ “Nana, Bayliss attacked an Armadillo!”

Oh, good grief. Bayliss wouldn’t bite a flea!

I get my lazy self up and go through to the kitchen and ask an adult. She’s kind of an adult.
Lil’wrekker saw nothing.

Mid-dau sez, “yeah, there was an Armadillo, Bayliss was very interested”

Somehow, with semi-adults, children and Hamza chiming in, I determined there may have been an exploratory nibble. Armadillo immediately balled up and froze in place.
Oldest grandson poked it with a stick. Mom grabs the stick and poked grandson and asks if likes being poked?

Everyone retires to the deck. Dogs are called up. And, apparently they sat and watched the balled up Armadillo til they got bored.

In the meantime the kids informed me of the horrific bloodbath, reeked by Bayliss of the Baskervilles.
I looked out the glass doors.
The Armadillo is still there. Balled up tight.
How can you tell if it’s alive?

We get everyone in. And I decided to go closer to the thang and have look-see.
I ain’t going alone.
I need my gallant protector.
(No not a gun, silly, everyone knows you can’t shoot an Armadillo)
“Bayliss, come”
He’s all too happy to go.

Hmmm? Is that a bit of murderous thought in that speech bubble over his head?

We’re within 10 feet of the thing and up it pops, does that thing like on a cartoon, spins his feet for 2 seconds and hauls ass.
Dang, I almost caught Bayliss before he was off.

I saw 2 things in this brief interlude:

  1. Bayliss bit (at) the Armadillo, on the bum, bounced off(armor).
  2. A big white spot on the Armadillos back. Oh no!

Ok. As we all know on this clever message board, Armadillos can have leprosy.
Eeek!

I brushed Bayliss teeth, even his tongue. Lemme tell you that weren’t easy, he kept licking the brush and curling his tongue. Drool fest.
I washed his face.
Sanitized nearly my whole body, changed clothes.
Put all clothes in the washing machine. Even the tooth brush. On hot/sanitize mode.
Then decided I need a hot shower.
Took clean clothes off. Stopped the washer added them. Restarted the washer.
Took my shower. More clean clothes.
Mopped the bathroom floor. With bleach.

You scoff all you want. This is how I’ve kept from getting COVID, nigh these 3 years.

I need a dog leper like I need Bayliss of the Baskervilles roaming the yard.

We had a long conversation about:

“Do Not Bite the Bums of Texas Speed-bumps!”

2

Sounds better than most TV these days.

3

According to this, the chances of Bayliss contracting leprosy from this encounter are thankfully very, very low:

Can Dogs Get Leprosy from Armadillos? (wagwalking.com)

4

Yeah, yeah…I know. It just carried the story along so swimmingly.
Don’t think I didn’t look it up.

Of course, after the giant clean up.

I do worry about these things.

5

(I’m sorry to do this, but we are Dopers here, so I hope y’all will forgive me.)

It is true that dogs, skunks, and (usually male) grandwreks may all reek sometimes.

However,
Horrific bloodbaths and havoc are wreaked.
:slight_smile:

6

Why thx.
I did notice the misspelling.

I liked the way “reeked” conjured up bad aromas.

Anyway, “wreaked” is a bit near “wrekked”.

:wink:

7

Aren’t Armadillos just Possums cosplaying as Shoguns?

You decide…

8

Hey!!

Maybe it was Clarence, reincarnated?

Oh, I hope he comes to visit again.

“That 'possum ain’t right!”

11

bayliss may need some new talky buttons.

12

That sounds cool. With some fluorescent paint, it could be a Halloween costume for the boy.

13

When I was getting up to let him and the Chihuahuas (newly renamed Butch and Sundance) out to pee early, he pressed “outside, poopy, fun”

Tryna figure that one out, still.

When I got home he pressed “little, outside”
(Little is his word for any animal smaller than him. Altho’ he saw a deer once and pressed “little, little”)

No armadillo in the yard today as far as I know.

14

:sparkler: Happy Birthday, Beck! :birthday:

15

Happy birthday!

16

Aww thanks you guys.

The present I got was not what I wished for. But I got through another year.

I never thought I’d be this age.

My “use by date” has passed.

Love you for remembering me. :heart:

17

UPDATE
Bayliss and the Bronco(?)

So…I go out this morning to the garage to check the garage cats.

I check the water fountain and open the garage door a few feet and see a largish lump on the apron.
It’s Mr. Armadillo.

I look over and the dogs are on the deck. I’m being stupidly quiet as not to alert Bayliss.

So, brilliant as always I roll(yes I said roll) cat food towards him.
He’s munching away. Sooooo…cute how they eat.

Oh no. A Chihuahua (Butch, of the Butch and Sundance pair. Recently renamed.) yips.
Here they come.

Mr.Armadillo doesn’t move. Seems he isn’t done with breakfast quite yet.

Bayliss slams on the brakes. Confused. Butch and Sundance are screaming like idiots.

Suddenly Mr.Armadillo decided he should scram.

I have never laughed so hard. If I could’ve wee’d my drawers…

Mr.A starts off on his slow moving chase. He’s on his tippy toes. Like a toe dancer.
His big ol’ armored tank body is floating above 4 unbelievably close set legs.

Just danced his way down the driveway. Graceful as a ballerina.
Slow----ly.

Bayliss kept tryna chase. But it was just no-go. The sirens were Butch and Sundance.

I feel like we’ve had a break through. He didn’t immediately ball-up.
Or,
Just felt like dancing. IDK

So, is Mr. Armadillo’s new name Bronco , O.J.
Or Pavlov (my favorite, after Anna Pavlova)?

18

Cute names for a couple of criminals* . But I gotta ask : what were their names originally?

__
*'cause ALL chihuahuas are criminals.
They violate:
–noise ordinances.
–And the law that says pets are s’posed to be cute.
–And furry.

19

Armadillos are “possum on the half-shell”

20

Their names were so embarrassing I hate to repeat them.
First, these are my mid-dau’s dogs. She got them as babies.
Second, I had no input as to naming them, then.
Third, since they came here, I, singlehandedly trained them and made them much more pleasant to live with. It was bad, folks. Bad bad bad.

Their original names were:
Teenee and Tinee.

So shameful.

I changed their names when I showed a picture of them to someone who suggested they looked like Butch and the Sundance kid. It tickled me so much, I just did it.
Mid-dau griped a bit. She got over it.

21

Butch and Sundance are much better.

22

Exactly