I opened a suspicious zipfile on my laptop. It was my early days Dope posts.
I did this when the board was moving to Discourse.
I started reading.
Dang, I was stupid, had bad spelling and never shut up.
I told a few whoppers too.
I’m sorry fellow Dopers. I never meant to deceive.
I’ll endeavor to be honest in future.
I always suspected that the story about you and Hugh Jackman was exaggerated. 
Yeah, I always knew that was just the cover story for her time with Patrick Stewart.
You first became famous with your tales of multiple encounters with your favourite state trooper. I would be very disappointed if any of that was a whopper, done only for fame and fortune on the SDMB!
No, that was all true.
I lurked many months and posted in others threads only for a long time.
That’s the posts I’m seeing.
Bad, bad, bad
Here he is, reading Beck’s old posts:
I knew it probably was! And so good, good, good Beck remains on my list of my favourite posters! 
I only messed with Patrick to get Shatners phone number.
The good news is that Shatner has experience dealing with large numbers of furry critters – he would be right at home with the menagerie at Beck’s house.
Oh, man I want a tribble!
Please Santa, I’m being a good girl.
Isn’t a possum just a tribble with a rat tail?
StG
Hmmm?
Clarence ain’t quite that fluffy.
Think I’ll buy him a Sherpa shirt.
He does make a squeaky sound that usually turns into a snarly hiss of love. I choose to believe he’s saying he loves me
I’m not sure he approves.
You should endeavor to persevere.
I try I swear.
But, this is more fun:
https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/400x/72784211/i-aim-to-misbehave.jpg
Never seen that word speled like that before…
Beck, I have often said that you didn’t just enter the Dope quietly and with little notice. You kicked the door open and took the place by storm.
No matter what you find in those early posts, doesn’t matter. I’m glad that you’re here, and I’m sure many others feel the same.
I often look for the bad, bad, bad posts. They will usually be fun.