I have a clinic day. DILs driving her grocery getter. I’m looking at the iPad she humming to some song on the radio. (Theyareallwellfromtheworstviruseverexceptcoronathatsnottheflu,right?hadaflushot, I digress…)
All of a sudden she screams. I nearly jumped outta the car when she screeches to a halt on the shoulder, jumps out and runs around the back of the car. I’m stunned.
I get outta the car. “Girl, what the eff is wrong with you?” She’s pointing at the car, can’t speak. I think I’m gonna have to haul and slap her or something.
Finally she says “Spider!”
Holy crap. You nearly killed us because of a spider?
Now, look. Ol’beck don’t like spiders either. This one must be tarantula sized to cause this reaction! I’m wary.
Being a grown-up (:)) I tell her, bravely, I’ll handle this.
I don’t want to. I REALLY don’t want to. I’m thinking I’ll just lie and tell her I smushed it. But then it might crawl up my socks into my pants leg {{gah!!}}. I gotta find this spider from hell!
I ask her where she saw it. On the steering column.
I get a tissue outta my pocket and head in to do battle. I look around the steering wheel, no spider. I look on the dash, no spider. I sat in the seat and look up, spider falls right on my head. Now, I’m the one screaming and dancing around on the side of the road…:eek:
I brushed the spider out of my hair, it flies over to her shirt, now she’s dancing again.:eek: I ran away from her.
A big truck races by us blowing his horn and laughing. Jerk.
We get in the car to go.
She says “It really was a tiny spider”
The one most traumatized was obviously the spider. It was physically assaulted, after all. Swatted, sent flying, sensitive little ears full of screaming.
My wife and daughters are the same way. My son’s not too keen on them either, but at this point I haven’t seen him screeching and flailing at a surprise arachnid.
Personally, I think spiders are cute. I might be surprised to have one land on me, but I haven’t yet fled a room or driven a car into a ditch because of one.
It’s been a crappy day, and it has barely started. Your post made me laugh like a loon. Thanks. I needed that.
(I am in the process of figuring out how I can tell Mr VOW I want an apple-pecan salad, and his lack of listening to me translates that so he tells The Daughter I want an avocado salad. Of course…)
Back to the spider.
I don’t do bugs. It’s in my contract. So I completely understand the screaming and dancing by the side of the road. And obviously the truck driver is married, because he recognized the female spider dance.
~VOW
I got a giggle imagining that trucker seeing these two women jumping around. There’ll be some guffaws at the ol’ truck stop tonight.
I’m not particularly afraid of spiders…unless it’s a black widow…dangling from the rearview mirror…with my baby son in his car seat next to me. (It was a pickup truck. No back seat.) We found black widow spiders in the garage;one apparently decided to stow away. Never did find the darn thing. It was a tense and watchful trip home.
When my daughter got her license, I wasn’t concerned at all about her driving. We did all of the hours, a lot of it in snow and ice and she drove very well, other than maybe drifting a little close to the center line at times. I thought, she’s not other teen drivers being all reckless and distracted.
The first week after she got her license, she got into a fender bender - in front of her school. She was barely moving, maybe 5-10 MPH. I figured she was looking at her phone or someone outside the car. No, according to her a spider came down on its web right in front of her face and she freaked out and hit the gas instead of the brake. At least that’s her story and she’s sticking to it. 2 more years and no incidents.
DIL announced before we left she had sanitized the grocery getter. They have had a bad virus. I’ve been quarantined from them. My doctors don’t want me viral this close to surgery time.
Guys, her car is usually full of junk and coke bottles, kids toys, food wrappers, and old mail. Usually I bring Walmart sacks and bag up trash while we’re riding. Thinking all the time I’m gonna catch a disease in this car.
I was pleasantly surprised this morning. I never knew the carpet was dark red. I said so many times how nice it looked she told me to shut up I was hurting her feelings.
We’d never have seen a spider 2 weeks ago. Wonder how many more live in that car?:eek:
Ahhh…The spiders get really big, over in Arkansas! Have the tarantulas made it to you, yet?
I don’t do bugs well. Not at all. We have a baby Western Hognose snake that absolutely adore. But, bugs? Noooo. Not so much. I’m a screamin’, bawlin’ mess when it comes to bugs.
I’m truly sorry about that.
I had to get that truck load of DVRs to the Camden Walmart. They’ve been yelling at me for two days over my cell phone. I’ve been living off of chocolate and coffee.
Man, I’m sorry, Beck.
Look, I’ll have a “cargo spillage” accident next time I’m toting corndogs near you.
(I know I’ve mentioned this, it directly relates, though.)
I had the experience of driving through Missouri with two kids in the backseat, still in car seats. My son announces he has a bloody nose. A quick peek in the mirror shows kid with blood all over his face and shirt. I pull over at the next off ramp, pull off into the direct, hit the blinkers and jump out, ready to do battle with the bloody nose. Which is when the biggest wasp you have ever seen flew into the car.
Before I had a chance to react, the kids were out of their seats and running down the side of the road screaming their heads off. My son was covered in blood. I’m telling you, years into putting kids into and out of car seats, I would have sworn that getting out of a car seat took approximately a century and a half. Wasps motivate.
I got the kids rounded up, I shooed the wasp on its way, and things were almost in control. Which is when the state police pulled in behind me. :smack:
I sympathize Beck. Bugs are bad.
It’s amazing how fast the lil’wrekker could get back IN her carseat and buckled properly if I started to slow down to stop.
She was an escape artist before age 1.
Hahahahahahaha! Sunny, that post cracked me up. I’m still laughing. Never thought I’d find a screaming kid in a bloody shirt funny.
Becks, have you ever had surgery before? I know this is a big one. Just thinking it might be even scarier if you’ve never been the guy in Operation. (I loved that game. Allow me to remove your wishbone.)
