This could be a pit topic but since it involves someone’s attempt at fiction, I’ll post it in CS. This very bad piece of fiction would normally have never burned my eyes but thanks to modern technology, I stumbled across it. Some things should never be written and if they must be written, should soon after be burned.
I was introduced to “The Eye of Argon” a couple of weeks ago. Everything I’ve read since is pure Shakespeare.
I’ve read worse, but that fic gave me a beer face. EEsh.
I seen worse -try reading an Oscarfic some time. :shudders:
Whoever wrote that must be a sad, lonely little boy. I could practically picture the kid masturbating in between typing scenes.
Hey. Leave my fiction-writing class from college outta this.
Yeah, but who’s the stupid one now?!
The OP is just plain mediocre. It’s nowhere up to the level of Eye of Argon or Attack of the Rockoids or most books published by the various online vanity presses (like this or this, both chosen at random).
*“Prepare to embrace your creators in the stygian haunts of hell, barbarian”, gasped the first soldier.
“Only after you have kissed the fleeting stead of death, wretch!” returned Grignr."*
The author should put down his pen, and go back to being Dungeon Master.
Nothing to say you can’t do both.
Alright, I’ll say it: He can’t do both.
It follows logically. He can’t write; therefore, if he wanted to write AND be a Dungeon Master, he would need to learn to write.
~A --> ~(A && B)
Having attempted to read the first sample chapter of “Attack of the Rockoids”, I found myself intrigued by this bit of description.
HOW RUDE! HOW RUDE TO DISTURB OUR ETERNAL CALM! WE WERE TRYING TO REST!
All of you think you have it bad? Try being a fan of Interactive Fiction. There’s some really well-written stuff out there, but you’ve got to sort through a bunch of rabble to get to it:
“You have travelled through a long-forgotten valley, cut deep into the Carpathian mountains. This is Transylvania, an ancient land of mystery and superstition. A freezing cold mist fills this bleak landscape. Swollen, wrath-filled clouds rumble ominously above hag-ridden magic and enchanted woods. The melancholy days are come. The saddest of the year, of wailing winds and naked woods. From somewhere deep in the forest, you hear the howling of the wolves.”
Retch. It’s not unexpected - any endeavor that encourages a bunch of fiction amateurs (and programming amateurs!) to write their hearts out will get a lot of crap - but the worst of it is just draining.
[QUOTE=Cheese Monster]
From somewhere deep in the forest, you hear the howling of the wolves."
QUOTE]
and I am Azrael Abyss, Prrrince of Sorrows!
The particular book is infamous because the author flooded Internet newsgroups talking about how great the book was and attacking each and every post that dared to say otherwise. At his peak, he was putting out hundreds of posts a day.
Apparently a popular party game is to take turns reading from “The Eye of Argon” for as long as you can keep a straight face. Many people manage nearly a sentance.
To be fair, there’s worse fiction out there, that is just as bad as it can get while just being plausibly fiction as opposed to monkey drool 
Conversely, I’ve written worse, but like to think I improve
Yes there is worse fiction out there and its name is [horses whinney, lightning cracks, a terrified scream is heard offscreen] R. L. Fanthorpe!
And some of his books are so horrible that the database wouldn’t even accept them!
Behold! The worst published book of all infinity! Negative Minus!
I’m amazed this thread has gotten this far without mentioning Stephen Ratliff and his “Marrissa Stories”–a whole series of incredibly bad Star Trek stories centering around a bit character in one ST:TNG episode.
Here is a link to the MiSTing archive–I couldn’t find the originals with a quick Google search, but the MiSTings are hilarious.
Worst fiction book, perhaps. <a href=“http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0595094724/qid=1083089676/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-9856983-9719258?v=glance&s=books”>But there are some doozies in nonfiction as well.</a>
Worst fiction book, perhaps. But there are some doozies in nonfiction as well.