Bad Movie Club

[outlierrn]

Latitude Zero:
what a great movie! I can’t believe that MST3K hasn’t done this yet. I mean OMG. Let’s see, I won’t bother with trivialities like plot, but we have a Star trek like utopia that completely disregards human nature (the elitist, racist undertone notwithstanding), Cesar Romero as a toned down Joker, ‘I’m not a monster, I’m a genious,’ his squeeze sports a cheesy cocktail dress, but the rest of the cast is wardrobed by Big Gay Al’s DreamFactory. Our plucky heroes confront evil in gold pressed platimun suits that make them bullet proof, and arrive at the final confrontation in a swarm of black bats that are a pure flashback to Hunter S. Thompson. My O My, you can’t make shit like this on purpose, highly recommended.

ETA, I forgot to mention the giant rats, giant anthropomorphic bats, and the Griffin with the Human Brain

[G0sp3l]

Seeker: The Dark is Rising
The Golden Compass
Invasion

Those three are so horrible you may never READ again let alone watch a movie (and someone please explain why Nicole Kidman keeps getting work?)

I thought “Fair Game” was the worst movie I’d ever seen until Battlefield: Earth came out.

[lissener]

@outlierrn

Latitude Zero:
what a great movie! I can’t believe that MST3K hasn’t done this yet. I mean OMG. Let’s see, I won’t bother with trivialities like plot, but we have a Star trek like utopia that completely disregards human nature (the elitist, racist undertone notwithstanding), Cesar Romero as a toned down Joker, ‘I’m not a monster, I’m a genious,’ his squeeze sports a cheesy cocktail dress, but the rest of the cast is wardrobed by Big Gay Al’s DreamFactory. Our plucky heroes confront evil in gold pressed platimun suits that make them bullet proof, and arrive at the final confrontation in a swarm of black bats that are a pure flashback to Hunter S. Thompson. My O My, you can’t make shit like this on purpose, highly recommended.

ETA, I forgot to mention the giant rats, giant anthropomorphic bats, and the Griffin with the Human Brain

Awesome, no? Did you watch for this thread, or had you already seen it?

[outlierrn]

@lissener

Awesome, no? Did you watch for this thread, or had you already seen it?

I took a hit for the team, you’re welcome.

[lissener]

To recap: The following bullets have been taken (each one a gutshot).

1. Theodore Rex
2. Latitude Zero
3. Glen or Glenda
4. Xanadu
5. Battlefield Earth

Which leaves these yet to go:

2. Quigley
3. Howard the Duck
4. Trog
5. 10,000 B.C.
6. Leonard Part 6

Anyone else want to test their Kevlar?

[gonzomax]

@lissener

Have you seen Ishtar?

Part. I could not stay for it all. It was soooooo bad.

[lissener]

@gonzomax

Part. I could not stay for it all. It was soooooo bad.

Makes me wonder how this movie would have been received it it had been made after Ricky Gervaise and Larry David had made “cringe humor” an everyday thing–the main characters in Ishtar are *supposed *to make you cringe with how horrible they are. When I show this movie to people nowadays, 100% of them “get it,” the cringe humor that is, and go away with a newfound cynicism about the critical bandwagon that consigns such movies to the dustbin. Elaine May is one of our most talented and original directors, but she’s been sentenced for life to director jail (to misquote another doper) for a crime she did not commit.

[gonzomax]

I suggest
From Justin to Kelly
Gigli
Waterworld
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I caught it late last week, Spectacularly bad.

[wonky]

@lissener

Which leaves these yet to go:

2. Quigley
3. Howard the Duck
4. Trog
5. 10,000 B.C.
6. Leonard Part 6

Anyone else want to test their Kevlar?

I must have a self-destructive impulse because I’m tempted by 10,000 BC. The trailers were so stupid that I went in a college graduate and came out a Morlock.

[lissener]

@jsgoddess

I must have a self-destructive impulse because I’m tempted by 10,000 BC. The trailers were so stupid that I went in a college graduate and came out a Morlock.

It’s pretty to look at, but you’ll be surprised to learn that they used harnessed Woolly Mammoths to build the Pyramids.

[Duke]

If someone’s going to take a bullet here, at least take a bullet to watch Nukie (Review NSFW, language). I’ve got to know whether it’s as bad as this:

Picture this: it’s your twenty-first birthday. For twenty-one long years you’ve been good - you’ve never had so much as a drop of alcohol. You pick up your best friend in the new car you bought to commemorate this new chapter in your life, and the two of you head to a bar. You toss back a few drinks, share some laughs, and have a great time. Then you and your best friend get back into the car. You realize that you’re a little tipsy but you don’t think you’re too drunk to drive. On the way home, you swerve a little bit, but since the roads are empty you don’t pay any heed. As you turn onto your street, a woman and a dog dart into the road. You try to avoid them but end up hitting them both and crashing your car, sending your best friend flying through the windshield. You are unharmed, but as you crawl out of the wreckage you see that the woman and the dog are both dead… and that the woman was your girlfriend and the dog was your dog. There’s nothing more you can do for them, so you rush to your best friend’s side. He’s mortally injured and he asks you to come closer. You take him in your arms and his blood flows all over you. In his final breath he tells you that he has AIDS and now you do too. Despite all this, you have nothing to complain about because you fucking haven’t seen “Nukie.”

[wonky]

@lissener

It’s pretty to look at, but you’ll be surprised to learn that they used harnessed Woolly Mammoths to build the Pyramids.

I remember that from the trailer. Right before I went insane.

[lissener]

I just rewatched Glen or Glenda.
I

I

I

I got nothin. It seems to have completely emptied my brain.

[Illuminatiprimus]

For the Spice World haters out there (all 5,999,999,995 of you) you will probably enjoy this.

[jali]

@gravitycrash

I’ll probably will get piled on here but the Joy Luck Club. If I ever need a sleeping pill I’ll watch this movie. I still haven’t made it through.

Swords at dawn!

[ToeJam]

Bloodrayne needs to be taken for by the team.
Why? Because I vouched that this movie is up there for my 2-3 worst movies i’ve EVER seen… and I’d like someone else who can speak up and admit that yes, it truly IS that bad.

Let me try to persuade you:
Meatloaf is in the movie.
And there is gratuitous female nudity.

That’s all I got. Good luck, Team, I’m counting on one of you to see this movie and report back if it TRULY is deserving to be up there as a contender for worst movie ever!

[RickJay]

I’ll do “Leonard Part Six.” I’ve never seen it before.

[lissener]

@Ro0sh

Bloodrayne needs to be taken for by the team.
Why? Because I vouched that this movie is up there for my 2-3 worst movies i’ve EVER seen… and I’d like someone else who can speak up and admit that yes, it truly IS that bad.

Let me try to persuade you:
Meatloaf is in the movie.
And there is gratuitous female nudity.

That’s all I got. Good luck, Team, I’m counting on one of you to see this movie and report back if it TRULY is deserving to be up there as a contender for worst movie ever!

I can beat *Bloodrayne *with a stick; I’ve seen a movie at least 9 kinds of worse: Bloodrayne II. All I need to say: it’s a Western.

[lissener]

@RickJay

I’ll do “Leonard Part Six.” I’ve never seen it before.

Be kind; my cousin’s in it.

[JohnT]

@lissener

Which leaves these yet to go:

2. Quigley
3. Howard the Duckwith
4. Trog
5. 10,000 B.C.
6. Leonard Part 6

Anyone else want to test their Kevlar?

Are any of these available online? I’ll take a bullet for y’all.

I’va actually watched 10 minutes of Howard the Duck about 10 years ago, a scene with Howard and Leigh (?) Thompson in bed. It was such a horrible scene that I still remember it 10 years later.