I remember getting an Eaton’s catalogue years back and being tremendously amused at one of the perfumes advertised. It seemed to me they just could have done a lot better than “Eau de Toillette Boule”. For $40, one could also get the Cologne Boule which also came in a round glass container but wasn’t nearly as funny.
So what are other unfortunate (theoretical) names for perfume/cologne/smelly liquid? Off the top of my head…
For Guys…
Steakhouse
Lummox
Grumpy
Old Sock
Meat Locker
For Women:
Time of the Month
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Channelle
Cher’s “Give Your Man A Bono”
Essence of Monica
Tamponnade
[long shot–forest]
[voiceover]
"Texas. The Big Thicket–where men are men…
[sound of chainsaw]
[good ol’ boy felling tree]
[voiceover]
“…the fresh clean scent of pine…”
[sound of screaming]
[closeup of severed leg w/ spurting blood]
[voiceover]
“…the fire-in-the-belly smell of blood…”
[good ol’ boy with beautiful blonde helping him strap on prosthesis, caressing it sensually]
[voiceover]
“Nothing attracts a woman like…Texas Chainsaw Massacre–For Men.”
++++++++++++++++
[woman squirts on perfume]
[walks into restaurant and sits down at table]
[all the men in the restaurant get up from where they’re sitting and crowd around her]
[she selects one]
[the others go back to their tables, disappointed]
[the chosen one sits down at her table]
[at his command, the waiter brings her an enormous platter of steaks]
[she begins to devour the steaks]
[he caresses her thigh under the table]
[she ignores him]
[voiceover]
“Sex for Meat…a fragrance that has stood the test of time.”