**Note: This is not the “pedophile Santa” or “Santa hacked my kids to death with a rusty cleaver in the middle of the night” thread
You’ve seen, mocked and been shocked by 'em. You’ve, maybe, let your kid sit on one’s lap. You know who I’m talking about – the discount store Santa. The one that forces you to tell your darling child: “No, he’s not Santa. He’s Santa’s helper.”
The askew cotton ball beard; cheap, threadbare suit; black hair showing from under a dirty hat; slightly pudgy with a pillow down his pants; on a folding chair; not an elf in sight; good-meaning-but-not-up-to-snuff Santa.
The Santa at the Granite Run Mall in suburban Philly has real white, hair, beard, is jolly, rosy-cheeked, bespectacled, good natured, couldn’t scare a mouse Santa. Shoppers flock from miles around to take their children to see him. The mall owners know this so he is paid very well.
So why do the store owners go through the motions if they’re not gonna do it right?
I remember visiting a Santa on 69th Street in Philly as a child. One year he was Santa. The next year he was Santa’s Helper and the year after that he was some guy in a cheap red suit.
I know I was getting older, but the Santa was crappier and crappier every year.
Just a holiday rant…