Fuck you, you fat fuck! You living monument to class warfare! How dare you get the hopes of millions of poor kids up only to dash their dreams each and every year? And then rich bastard children who already have everything get even more. Now we know who really funds the North Pole’s deficit spending. You make this country a wretched place to not be a billionare. Millions of kids starve each year and you build freakin’ rocking horses for some spoiled snot fuck of a demon spawn.
And what the hell is with the fucking kids sitting on you lap, you perverted monkey fuck? Micheal Jackson doesn’t need some diabetic bowl of jelly to have a “bad Touch” race with! Leave the damn kids alone, you traumatizing troll! Then there is the whole “Have you been a good girl/boy?” thing, which is just totally wrong to ask a 5 year old.
Plus Santa is a slave driver, his elven slaves are FORCED to make presents for the kids of rich fucks! One day Legolas is going to show up and there will be hell to pay. Then Hermie can yank what’s left of your rotten teeth out one by one without any anesthetic. And the Reindeer abuse has not gone unnoticed, either! Rudolf forced to live with a disability instead of being euthenized, the rest of the reindeer forced into marathon sleighrides they are ill prepared for once a year. How many of those reindeer don’t come back? I hear Vixon’s rotting corspe is still lying on the Johnson’s roof where he had his heart atttack last year, you heartless sack of aardvark mung! The pubic lice of a gorilla’s tapeworm’s butt has more compassion than you!
And to top it all off, you don’t even have the decency to even EXIST! You damn figment fuck! How the fuck am i supposed to kill you when you died like 1000 years ago? The Ghostbusters aren’t returning my calls after the tooth fairy incident. I guess i’ll have to exorcise you myself. Or maybe stab a candy cane in your cold dark heart, the snow of the north pole will be stained red this year, the revolution will not be televised, but reported on Christmas morn when the rich kids of the world find their new stocking stuffers, a huge chunk of the jolly fat elf himself i lopped off just for their enjoyment! Take that, ya scum! I’ll put that coal to good use, on your FUNERAL PYRE!!! No one crosses Tars Tarkas!
Tars, Tars, Tars - Look I got coal once in a while from that fat ass, but I worked through it. 25 years of counseling and countless thousands of dollars on prescription medication has made me have a special place in my heart for that fat fuck.
Furthermore, it wasn’t easy, I know what you are going through, the denial, the improper thoughts, it happens to us all. We are all alike, abused the that Santaphile! But at least I can see you are working through your fears…and yes theya re fears…the fear of that fat psychotic old man in a red jump suit pummeling you in your sleep because he found out about your extensive porn collection, the fear of that nasty big white beard bent over your bed at night, tickling your ear whilst whispering sweet nothings about whats in his sleigh…I know man! I know what your going through…
Oh and one more thing: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico
TARS, you remind me of the Baglady I once saw arguing with the statue of Jesus in front of a church in Jersey City. Much like that statue, Santa’s winning this argument without saying a word.
Before anyone gets any bright ideas from my last post, I hereby forbid any “proud ASS member” jokes of the “guys named Richard standing up straight” variety. . .
hey tars! with you all the way on this one pal!
just imagine it – the bastard is gettin extra bucks for workin christmas, and i got to spend it with the family! the fat festive fuck-pig arse bandit!
the only part i can`t agree with is sending him to hell — thats too good for the bearded do-gooder hard up the ass shit licker,
no sir, i reckon we make a “deliverance” theme park, and he gets to be the guy who makes the pig noises,…lets hear a ho ho ho now ya red cheeked slime fuck…
Actually Tars, Santa has already been sent to Hell. Acording to orthodox Christan theology, Santa, then called Lucifer, rebelled against God, uttering the notorious words, “Non serviam”, “I will not serve”. He and his fellow rebels, defeated by Michael, were cast out of Heaven and…
Oh, wait, Santa. I thought you wrote Satan. :smack:
Look I got coal once in a while from that fat ass, but I worked through it. 25 years of counseling and countless thousands of dollars on prescription medication has made me have a special place in my heart for that fat fuck.