I wish this was my typical whiney rant about how my life sucks and how nothing good ever happens to me. This past week, my depression has been edging its way out, despite everything I’m doing to control it (medication, therapy techniques, social support, etc.). I don’t know about anybody else, but when my depression surfaces, my typical thoughts are ones where I’m wondering why life is so unfair, people who have screwed me over have gone on to be very happy with their lives, while I sit here in my rut, and I analyze how doomed humanity really is. Anyway, I WISH this thread was about that, I wish this was about my pathetic whiney self, but it’s not…
I made plans with a friend to come with me to get a tattoo this afternoon. It’s my first, and she wanted to come with me to see what it is like before she does it herself. I just got a call from her ten minutes ago, her voice is raspy, nothing like I have ever heard her before, and she could barely keep it together to tell me that her mother’s doctor found a lump in her mother’s breast. She, of course, can’t come with me to see the tattoo get done (although now I am reconsidering going today) because she has to accompany her mother to her biopsy. She starts to cry, and can barely squeak out “I better get going, sorry about today” I, of course, say “Do NOT worry about that, take care of yourself, and your mother too.”
This whole situation makes me angry, because not only does it contribute to my depressing belief that bad things happen to good people, it’s happening to people I fucking care about. I’ve known this friend for eight years; she is the longest friend I’ve have that is still my friend, and I’ve seen all the shit she has gone through over the years. If this was the first shitty thing that happened to her and her family, I would think “Shit happens to everyone, it allows you to be a stronger person!” But no, you see, all her life, her father had beat her. Not a spank on the bum like my parents did when I was a kid, but real fists beating. This happened to her all the way up until she was 18 and said “No more of this”, and slugged him back the last day he tried to beat her.
You see, what finally gave her the courage to fight back was because she was a brilliant student in high school, she got scholarships and bursaries to our university. She also didn’t attend any high school events, such as our graduation dance or the ceremony because those things cost money, and her family wasn’t rich. She saved and she saved all the money that so she could be more comfortable in her first year of university. She got accepted to an overseas program in England and it was a big fucking deal with our group of friends. We were all so fucking proud of her. So, anyway, why did she fight back that last time he tried to beat her??? Because a couple of hours before her last exam, she received a phone call from a travel agency confirming her father’s trip to Asia. “Asia?” she thought, “The woman must be mistaken!” Turns out, the woman was not mistaken at all. See, what happened was that her father decided to take her bursary money, her scholarship money, and the money she saved up since she started working at 15, just so he can take that once-in-a-lifetime trip across the world. She confronted him, he tried to beat her out of the money, and she fought back. That was the last time she had to see his face, because right after that, that was the last straw that broke her mother’s back. Her mother had been dealing with his agressive behaviour towards her children, never really knowing how bad he was beating her, and she had been afraid to leave him and go into the unknown. But after all that, she couldn’t stay with a man not only did she not love, but couldn’t even give them security in the financial area anymore.
The divorce took a long time to sort through, he tried to get custody of my friend’s brother, because he wanted to be “a man” and be there for his son. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: , of course. He lost, and he never tried to contact them again, no birthday calls, nothing, not even the son he fought so hard to gain custody of. My friend also tried to get him to pay for half of all her tuition. She was going to go to grad school, get her masters and her phD, so that was a long way for him to pay. The courts decided to grant her that, seeing what a deplorable person he was. Saying that he is a “person” even disgusts me now. Anyway, he went and appealed it, but friend’s mother didn’t get served the papers, didn’t show up in court, and automatically lost. The family just didn’t want to fight anymore in court, as this has now been two and a half years since her mother filed for divorce. The fucking jerk got his way, and nothing pisses me off than assholes getting their way.
Anyway, in this long list of my friend getting screwed over, we all thought that the family was just starting to settle down, and everything was finally going to be calm and quiet. They got a cat to keep the whole family company and less lonely, her brother was doing well in high school and becoming very responsible, even getting an after school job to help the family. Her mother developed some friends since she started working so my friend wouldn’t be so stressed from her mother relying on her all the time for emotional support. My friend could finally sit down and worry about her future like the rest of us. In short, this family has suffered enough and they shouldn’t be suffering so fucking much now.
I can’t stand seeing shitty things happen to good people time after time. I mean, yeah, shitty things happen to everyone, but shitty things that should be happening to them should be things like “Oh, it’s raining and I forgot my umbrella! Crap!” not “THERE IS A FUCKING LUMP IN HER BREAST!” I wish I could be there to be with my friend and her mother, who is a good person, the kind of mother I wish mine was, but this is a personal family thing, so all I can sit here is be angry and vent.
). From the moment I found that lump until the moment I got the results-- yeah, I’ve never been more scared in my life. I literally cried myself to sleep every night. But in the end, it was nothing. Most of the time in situations like this, it’s nothing.