Badly translated Christmas songs

Cafe Society
1

This was a December tradition on the now defunct Snopes message board, so I am going to attempt to revive it here.

Take a Christmas song and paste it into Google Translate, or Bing Translate, or whatever your favorite online translator is. Translate it into another language, then take the result and translate that to a third language, and repeat until you think it’s gotten sufficiently garbled, then translate it back to English. Past the result in this thread.

Here is my first submission – Jingle Bells, translated from English to Romanian to Japanese to Norwegian to Greek to English.

they slide in the snow
by horse-drawn sleigh
in the fields we go to
keep on smiling
The bobtail bell rings
to light up my heart
how fun it is to drive and sing
Sleigh Song Tonight Oh!

jingle bells, jingle bells
it always rings
oh so much fun to drive
Open a sled, hey!
jingle bells, jingle bells
it always rings
oh so much fun to drive
by horse-drawn sleigh

the earth is white now
go while you’re young
get the girl tonight
Let’s sing this song in a sleigh
take bay leaves
240 for speed
Tie him to an open sled
and you take the lead

Oh jingle bells, jingle bells
it always rings
oh so much fun to drive
Open a sled, hey!
jingle bells, jingle bells
it always rings
oh so much fun to drive
by horse-drawn sleigh
oh so much fun to drive
In an open sleigh with horses!

2

They’re getting better with this auto-translate stuff.

O Holy Night
English → Arabic → Spanish → Estonian → Dutch → English

Oh fateful night, the stars shine bright,
This is the night the precious Savior was born.
Long the world lay groaning in injustice and error,
Until it appeared and the soul felt its value.
A glimmer of hope that revives a weary world,
For a glorious new morning is dawning;
Fall on your knees, listen to the voice of the angel!
O divine night! Oh the night Christ was born.
Oh night, oh holy night, oh divine night.

quietly guided by the light of faith;
We stand in the cradle of glowing hearts:
Therefore, gently guided by the light of a bright star,
Wise men from the East come here,
So the King of Kings was in a humble manger,
In all our troubles we were born to be our friend.
He knows our needs, for our weakness is no stranger to him!
Look, yours! Bow down to him the humble!
Look, yours! it is yours! bow kiss!

He really taught us to love each other.
His law is love and the peace of the gospel.
The chains are broken, for the slave is our brother,
And in his name abolish all iniquity.
Sweet songs of joy in a thankful chorus uplift us;
May each of us praise his holy name!
Christ is then always Lord! Always rate us!
Proclaim his power and glory forever!
Proclaim his power and glory forever!

3

Here’s Go Tell It On The Mountain from English to Finnish to Polish to Italian to Japanese and back to English:

Together, Together
Okay and everywhere
Together, Together
The Birth of Yeske Christ

While the sheep are watching,
According to Shizuka What is Mure
It’s all in paradise here.
In the midst of all this, the light of light

The sheep were horrified and shocked.
When the Chikyu is broken
ABCDBunrui
This is what I gave you.

Yes, much better translation. I remember looking into it professionally about 30 years ago, and it was much easier to get rubbish.

4

Malinda Katherine Reese has an amazing voice and her videos are really fun to watch. Here’s her Google Translate mangled version of the Christmas Song

5

Christmas Shoes. From English to German to Russian to Hebrew to Japanese to English.

Christmas was approaching when I got in another line to buy my last gift. It wasn’t in the spirit of Christmas. There was a little boy in front of me, and he had to pay. When I didn’t, I thought I heard what he said Doctor, I want to buy these shoes for my mom Her size…has been sick for quite some time and i think these shoes will make her smile and i want her to look cute when mama sees jesus tonight. He fumbled in his pockets, turned around and looked at me, said my mother was spending Christmas at our house. I put in the money I needed to help. I will never forget the look on his face when he said, “Your mom is so cool, I want to buy these shoes for you. Today is Christmas.” By Eve, these shoes are her actual size. Hurry up Daddy says he doesn’t have time See, she’s been sick for a long time I know these shoes will make her smile And when Mama sees Jesus tonight Make her visible I want to buy these shoes for my mother Please bend down These shoes are just her size Make her smile like when Mama met Jesus tonight , I want her to look beautiful.

Actually…not that bad?

6

Atrocious. But no worse than the original.

7

“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”
English > French > Russian > Japanese > Latin > English

This is starting to look like Christmas.
wherever you go
Watch 5 and 10, it shines again
Lollipops and a silver leg of the road

This is starting to look like Christmas.
Plenty of toys for each other
But the most beautiful sight is the saint.
at my threshold

Hop while booting and shooting the arrow
Bernie and Ben’s Wish
talking and walking doll
Hope Janice and Jen
Mom and dad don’t have to wait for school again

8

The Polish version of JIngle Bells begins

Dzwon Dzwon Dzwon
Dzwon Dzwon Dzwon

Which is just

Bell Bell Bell
Bell Bell Bell

This has always bothered me. You’d think they’d put a little more creativity into it.

9

Taking the cue from the previous post, though I won’t repeat it if @WildaBeast considers it outside the scope of the thread, here’s the first verse and chorus of the most common (only?) Norwegian version of Jinglebell google translated to English. Not so much garbled grammar, but some context inappropriate word choices that I find makes it amusing.

Chime, chime
Above forest and hello.
Listen to the cheerful sound of the bell
When Blakken sets off.

Follow us out, follow us out
Over bog and bog
Where the road winds
In the forest adventure.

Come now and join us at the stables, you’ll see
That Blakken will be so happy when we leave
Then we take the pram out and put the harness on
And Blakken purrs happily at you
Hu-Hey, where to go!

10

Did Kayne change his name again?

Christmas Don’t Be Late
English>German>Arabic>Spanish>English

it’s alright squirrel
Are you ready to sing your song?
I will say we
Yes, let’s sing now!
Is Simon okay?
Yes
Well Theodore?
Yes
Well Alvin? Alwyn? Alwyn!
Yes!
Christmas, the holiday season is coming
It’s time to play and party
We were good but we can’t go on
Hurry up Christmas, hurry up, hurry up
We want a plane going around the circuit.
I want a hula hoop
we can hardly wait
Please Christmas, don’t be late
Alright guys get ready
That was very good, Simon.
Naturally!
Very good Theodore
Ho Ho Ho
Oh Alvin, I was a little upset
Listen, uh, Alvin… Alvin? Alvin!
Yes

Hula Hoop survives Arabic intact? I’m impressed.

11

Adeste Fideles (O Come All Ye Faithful)*
Latin->Ukrainian->Sanskrit->Malayalam->English

Go forth, faithful, contented, and victorious.

Come, come to Bethlehem.

Here was born the king of angels;

Let us come and worship

Let us come and worship

Let us come and worship

Master!

God from God is light from light

They carry the girl’s bowels.

The true God, begotten, not made;

Now a choir of angels sings

The heavenly palace now sings:

Glory to God!

So he who was born on this day

Glory to you, Jesus.

The Word of the Eternal Father made flesh;

And leaving the sheep under the shepherd’s care.

They called the shepherds.

We will leap to the level of singing;

Eternal Light of the Eternal Father,

We can see him covering the bottom of his body.

The infant God is enveloped;

And to us, the poor, and those who lie on the grass,

Let us embrace the devotees.

So who doesn’t buy us?

The star was their guide, the wise men who adored Christ,

They give off a golden aroma and sulphur.

We give our hearts to the baby Jesus;

*Not that Ye.

12

This Lee Mendelson / Vince Guaraldi song is still rather regognisable

(English → Russian → Gaelic → Scots Gaelic → Welsh → English)

Christmas is here
Happiness and joy
Congratulations to everyone who called the patch
The time of year is one with them

A cloud of snow in the sky
Carol her everywhere
Old time and rhymes
Her love and her dreams

Sleigh bells in the sky
Beauty is everywhere
Christmas by the fire
And happy memories there

Christmas is here
A family is coming
From here you will be seen forever
Such spirit during the year

Sleigh bells in the sky
Beauty is everywhere
Christmas by the fire
And happy memories there

Christmas is here
A family is coming
From here you will be seen forever
Such spirit during the year

13

English>Russian>Hebrew>Latin>Japanese>Chinese>English

bells,
the smell of batman
robin egg
Batmobile lost its wheels
clown is gone

Basic syntax, the meaning of the song, most of the verbs - all gone
But the word Batmobile survives! Behold the power of American pop culture.