Bakers Dozen

If the 12 Days of Christmas were the 12 fractional (or irrational) days of Christmas what the True Love might give:

  1. 3.14159… Pies to Eat.
  2. 1.4142… square root of two cookies
  3. SqRt(-1) … the diamond ring she’s expecting
  4. 1.618… Golden Ratios
  5. 2.71828 Eagles
  6. 6.666666… Geese a-Laying
  7. 49/7ths Swans a-Swimming
  8. 1.60669… bottles of Erdos Bor-wine
  9. i… imaginary friends
  10. splunge… Lords a-Leaping
  11. 6.022×10 [sup]23[/sup] Avogadro Avocados

If the 12 Days of Christmas were the 12 fractional (or irrational) days of Christmas what the True Love might give:

  1. 3.14159… Pies to Eat.
  2. 1.4142… square root of two cookies
  3. SqRt(-1) … the diamond ring she’s expecting
  4. 1.618… Golden Ratios
  5. 2.71828 Eagles
  6. 6.666666… Geese a-Laying
  7. 49/7ths Swans a-Swimming
  8. 1.60669… bottles of Erdos Bor-wine
  9. i… imaginary friends
  10. splunge… Lords a-Leaping
  11. 6.022×10 23 Avogadro Avocados
  12. pi/infinity Partridges in Parallel Universes

If the 12 Days of Christmas were the 12 fractional (or irrational) days of Christmas what the True Love might give:

  1. 3.14159… Pies to Eat.
  2. 1.4142… square root of two cookies
  3. SqRt(-1) … the diamond ring she’s expecting
  4. 1.618… Golden Ratios
  5. 2.71828 Eagles
  6. 6.666666… Geese a-Laying
  7. 49/7ths Swans a-Swimming
  8. 1.60669… bottles of Erdos Bor-wine
  9. i… imaginary friends
  10. splunge… Lords a-Leaping
  11. 6.022×10 23 Avogadro Avocados
  12. pi/infinity Partridges in Parallel Universes
  13. infinity[sup]3[/sup] - number of times a Christmas Carol will be played on the radio between the day after Thanksgiving and December 25th.

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace

Technically, it’s my fifth wish.

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button
  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios
    In fact, really just time traveling on Earth would be fine.

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button
  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios
  6. My Two Front Teeth

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button
  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios
  6. My Two Front Teeth
  7. An ironclad commitment that I’ll be elected President in 2016

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button
  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios
  6. My Two Front Teeth
  7. An ironclad commitment that I’ll be elected President in 2016
  8. a Canon EOS 5D Mark III

Sampiro, if I could travel with you in the TARDIS, I wouldn’t need the bigger apartment.

Elendil’s Heir, I’ll vote for you.
What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button
  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios
  6. My Two Front Teeth
  7. An ironclad commitment that I’ll be elected President in 2016
  8. a Canon EOS 5D Mark III
  9. A body that works without aches and pains

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button
  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios
  6. My Two Front Teeth
  7. An ironclad commitment that I’ll be elected President in 2016
  8. a Canon EOS 5D Mark III
  9. A body that works without aches and pains
  10. Irrefutable proof that the two people who beat me on ***Jeopardy! ***last year were cheating. (Nah, they were both very nice people… which means I don’t even get the consolation of hating them!)

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button
  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios
  6. My Two Front Teeth
  7. An ironclad commitment that I’ll be elected President in 2016
  8. a Canon EOS 5D Mark III
  9. A body that works without aches and pains
  10. Irrefutable proof that the two people who beat me on Jeopardy! last year were cheating. (Nah, they were both very nice people… which means I don’t even get the consolation of hating them!)
  11. CASH! Lots and lots of lots of hundred dollar bills.

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment
  2. A fat advance from a publisher
  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace
  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button
  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios
  6. My Two Front Teeth
  7. An ironclad commitment that I’ll be elected President in 2016
  8. a Canon EOS 5D Mark III
  9. A body that works without aches and pains
  10. Irrefutable proof that the two people who beat me on Jeopardy! last year were cheating. (Nah, they were both very nice people… which means I don’t even get the consolation of hating them!)
  11. CASH! Lots and lots of lots of hundred dollar bills.
  12. Consequence-free hedonism…and the youth to do it up right

What you want from Santa this year

  1. a bigger apartment

  2. A fat advance from a publisher

  3. For all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace

  4. a retromorphic electrophastic neo-embolizer with the bright red candylike button

  5. A TARDIS, but with a GPS that avoids apocalyptic alien scenarios

  6. My Two Front Teeth

  7. An ironclad commitment that I’ll be elected President in 2016

  8. a Canon EOS 5D Mark III

  9. A body that works without aches and pains

  10. Irrefutable proof that the two people who beat me on Jeopardy! last year were cheating. (Nah, they were both very nice people… which means I don’t even get the consolation of hating them!)

  11. CASH! Lots and lots of lots of hundred dollar bills.

  12. Consequence-free hedonism…and the youth to do it up right

  13. a Coke and a smile.
    New! 13 Quotes from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol

  14. “Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ’Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.”

New! 13 Quotes from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol

  1. “Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ’Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.”
  2. He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!

New! 13 Quotes from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol

  1. “Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ’Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.”
  2. He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
  3. “You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”

New! 13 Quotes from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol

  1. “Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ’Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.”
  2. He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
  3. “You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”
  4. “It isn’t that,” said Scrooge, heated by the remark, and speaking unconsciously like his former, not his latter, self. “It isn’t that, Spirit. He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count them up: what then? The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.”

13 Quotes from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol

  1. “Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ’Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.”
  2. He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
  3. “You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”
  4. “It isn’t that,” said Scrooge, heated by the remark, and speaking unconsciously like his former, not his latter, self. “It isn’t that, Spirit. He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count them up: what then? The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.”
  5. “This is the even-handed dealing of the world!” he said. “There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty; and there is nothing it professes to condemn with such severity as the pursuit of wealth!”

13 Quotes from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol

  1. “Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ’Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.”
  2. He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
  3. “You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”
  4. “It isn’t that,” said Scrooge, heated by the remark, and speaking unconsciously like his former, not his latter, self. “It isn’t that, Spirit. He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count them up: what then? The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.”
  5. “This is the even-handed dealing of the world!” he said. “There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty; and there is nothing it professes to condemn with such severity as the pursuit of wealth!”
  6. "Before I draw nearer to that stone to which you point,’ said Scrooge, “answer me one question. Are these the shadows of the things that Will be, or are they shadows of the things that May be only?”